(Thank you to a mouse on wank_report for the following post which I am plagiarizing)

Self-published author Michael Robb Matthias make a self-promotional post in the forums of Fantasy Faction. Fantasy Faction is perfectly okay with authors promoting their work, provided they do it in the proper place, but moves said post into the "self-published and small presses" category where it belongs.

Robb duly takes this for the TERRIBLE INSULT that it is.

I am not a small press. I am an author with 18 titles for sale. That is more titles that some big publishing houses. I have advertising currently running in Locus, Publishers Weekly, Fantasy and Sci Fi, and Revolver magazines. I have blog advertising across the entire blog-o-sphere. I am not a small press or even self published. M. R. Mathias' books are PUBLISHED by Michael Robb Mathias Jr. and should be treated no differently that any big named publishers title. WHY? Because I do my job as a publisher too. Please quit sending my posts into the self published/small press thread. My titles are neither. I have 92k twitter followers @DahgMahn and 10 titles in their genre bestselling list. There is nothing self pubbed, or small, about books written by M. R. Mathias.
Thank you,
M.R.Mathias' publisher, Michael Robb Mathias Jr.

Commenters point out that this is... not really the best way to go about things and are accused of e-bullying, being sick, petty, and "jelous".

The mods close things despite the protests of a crowd of gleeful spectators on Twitter who aren't ready for the drama to end yet. Fantasy Faction posts a follow-up the next day, including a summary of the events on the forum, some mildly worrisome self-glorifying tweets, a few reviews indicating these glorious works of fiction are less than glorious, and Mr. Robb's claims of how we're all just jealous.

The fun continues on Twitter, where among other things, Mr. Robb calls Fantasy Faction Nazis and complains of censorship. He has at least four aliases on Twitter: @Michael_Robb @BookReTweeter @MrStubbs @NocturnMP3. But don't worry, they are, he informs people, all "licensed". Are your twitter handles "licensed," peons? I THINK NOT!

https://twitter.com/#!/dahgmahn seems to be where most of the action is -- but at one point, NocturnMP3 (admitted as being another sock) steps into defend...himself:

@fantasyfaction You suck, but only for banning M.R. He did NOTHING WRONG!

This entire conversation is comedy gold, of course.

@Gollancz I wanted to market my books to faction readers not indie authors. Its basic buisness. I dont want to now. Faction is all BULLIES!

Further highlights include this, to author M.D Lachlan:

@mdlachlan Ah you have publishers? 5th draft? You must suck as a writer. My #bestseller was wriiten with a pen in a prison cell. Two drafts.

WITH A PEN IN A PRISON CELL.

For your pleasure, you may also marvel at the spinning skulls and note the name of the main character of his latest book on his website.

BigAl posts book reviews to his book blog "Books and Pals." Recently he posted an honest but critical review of Jacqueline Howett's "The Greek Seaman," giving it a two star rating because of its "numerous proofing, typo, and grammar issues."

( Jacqueline Howett is not amused. )

Here's a small but tasty writers' wank that has nothing to do with NaNoWriMo!

Editorial Anonymous is a blog written by an anonymous editor at a mystery publisher, who answers questions about published, how to query, etc. All in all, it's generally a good source for aspiring authors.

Of course, every now and then, the blogger receives something completely out of left field. Like this, an email from someone seeking a publicist. The blogger removes the sender's name before posting the email, but leaves the long list of self-published works untouched. Naturally, it's Google fodder, and the sender's identity is easily discovered.

Is it hilarious? Or is it unkind? Depends which commenter you ask, and they're all more than willing to share their thoughts on yaoi the email. Most especially one Will Entrekin, himself a writer published via Lulu, who seems to think he's kind of a big deal. His collection was the very first e-book on Apple's iPhone, you guys, he said so himself!

All in all, this wank report is a quick, fun read. I give myself a five star review! All I need now is a publicist. Know any random bloggers I could email about that?

ETA: The anonymous blogger states that she decided to post the Googleable list of works "not because it was funny but because coming at the end of a letter complaining about her lack of success, titles like "How to Be Wealthy Selling Informational Products on the Internet"; "How to Become Wealthy Selling Ebooks"; and "How To Become Wealthy Selling Products on The Internet" smack strongly of fraud."