(But it can't make him use the shift key consistently.)

Giles Coren would like you to know that "a" is very srs bsn:

3) And worst of all. Dumbest, deafest, shittest of all, you have removed the unstressed 'a' so that the stress that should have fallen on "nosh" is lost, and my piece ends on an unstressed syllable. When you're winding up a piece of prose, metre is crucial. Can't you hear? Can't you hear that it is wrong? It's not fucking rocket science. It's fucking pre-GCSE scansion. I have written 350 restaurant reviews for The Times and i have never ended on an unstressed syllable. Fuck. fuck, fuck, fuck.

I am sorry if this looks petty (last time i mailed a Times sub about the change of a single word i got in all sorts of trouble) but i care deeply about my work and i hate to have it fucked up by shit subbing. I have been away, you've been subbing joe and hugo and maybe they just file and fuck off and think "hey ho, it's tomorrow's fish and chips" - well, not me. I woke up at three in the morning on sunday and fucking lay there, furious, for two hours. weird, maybe. but that's how it is.

It's just his letter, but oh, it's so tasty and I love "academic" wank on a Sunday, don't you?

Otherwise known as "When you've nothing left to be proud of, be proud of being proud".

Last night a special edition of Location, Location, Location aired in the UK. Special because it showed the UK's top ten best and worst towns.

As you might imagine, people feel passionately about such things. And the "worst town in Britain" Middlesbrough would like the country to know it is VERY UPSET.

It starts with a Rebuttal on the BBC

( And the voices start rising )

Of course, the Beeb moderate comments which make it hard to find real wank there. No matter though, because it's hardly going to stay there.

The Middlesbrough Mayor demands that the entire North East boycott Channel 4. Also he thinks the producers should crawl to Middlesbrough on their hands and knees to beg random members of the public for an apology.

Move on to the forums of the locl paper, and folk are getting more upset.

( When Angry Northerners Fight Back )

Excitable? Pissed off? Indeed!

But it's not until you hit the Channel 4 message boards you'll see them really losing it.

( And the North and the South meet with a clang )

The UK: A very small country that spends most of its time seperating into even smaller parts so they can shout at each other.

ETA: New news links!

If you're not Nelson Mandela your opinion doesn't count anyway!

WE WILL BURN YOU IN EFFIGY!

Over in hp_britglish, schemingreader makes the mistake of asking what the stuff you spread on top of a cake is called. Hint: It ain't "frosting".

oncelikeshari thinks that butter icing is evil and wrong and should be stopped, or that it doesn't exist. I'm not entirely sure.

Either way, I want cake. :(

Short, but sweet.