Entry tags:

snape/luna

Fic: Pureblood Party Girls (Luna/Snape)
To: pennymintlick
From: wandmaker

Title: Pureblood Party Girls
Author: wandmaker
Gift For: pennymintlick
Rating: NC-17
Requested Pairing: Luna/Snape; a maid’s uniform
Authors Notes: Lord Voldemort has been defeated and Luna decides it’s high time to make her move.
Warnings: Girls in tight costumes. Unadulterated Fluff.

PUREBLOOD PARTY GIRLS

The day of his nineteenth birthday, immediately after coming into the full burst of his magical powers, Harry Potter finally killed Voldemort. It involved the very messy demise of Nagini the Horcrux, and a rather complicated combination of potions and spells.

So, the Dark Lord was dead and gone, and with him, the reign of terror of the Death Eaters. There were odes of joy, and dancing in the streets, and many secrets long hidden, were at last, revealed. Draco Malfoy had been the one to help locate Nagini, and it was the potions of Severus Snape that had help disable Voldemort. Snape had never been disloyal to Dumbledore.

But the shock of all these revelations paled in comparison to the unveiling of one of the best-kept secrets in the entire Wizarding world:

Luna Lovegood and Millicent Bulstrode were best friends.

They had been best friends since serving the same detention with Professor Lockhart, all those years ago. Millicent had been acting a role from the beginning. Harsh, nasty-mouthed and mean-spirited. A bullying bitch. She’d loathed every moment of it. Hated every cruel remark and hurtful barb. That wasn’t the real Millicent. In fact, she even had argued when the Sorting tried to place her in Gryffindor:

“No way!” she’d told the old rag. “The day will come when a position inside the snake house will help the fight for the Light. It’s a brilliant piece of strategy!”

“What-ever,” the Sorting Hat had replied and placed her in Slytherin.

Luna Lovegood had argued with the Sorting Hat, as well, when it tried to place her Slytherin:

“No, I don’t think so.”

“It’s a perfect fit! You’re cunning in your own quiet way, and ambitious, too,” the hat urged.

“Perhaps, but Ravenclaw suits me more.”

The Hat coughed. “Are you loony? They’ve been a nasty little bunch of snots these past few years! I can’t imagine what Rowena would say!”

“Nevertheless, I’ll get lost in there. I’ll be under-estimated. It’s a brilliant piece of strategy.”

“What-ever,” the Sorting Hat had sighed and placed her in Ravenclaw.

So, there it went. For seven years, each girl was treated with contempt and ridicule by her own House. But it paid off handsomely, when Millicent overheard plans of a junior Death Eater attack in Hogsmeade, and was able to warn Luna, who in turn was able to warn the DA.

Luna and Millicent were good friends, dear friends. They were each others’ only genuinely fond memories of Hogwarts. Both of them socially inept “outsiders,” they found a niche together. During summers and holidays, they would manage to meet in out of the way places, and thus, their friendship steadily grew through the years.

They shared each other’s first secret crushes. They cried on each other’s shoulders when the taunts of classmates became too hurtful to bear. (Millicent had continually volunteered to “accidentally” hex every Ravenclaw who conspired to hide her friend’s precious possessions. Luna would just shrug, and tell it was a lovely thought, but not to bother.)

Millicent did, however, join up with Luna to quietly hex Prof. Lockhart when both of retained the same hazy recollection of an almost forgotten detention. With the help of a borrowed pensive, the two of them were able to piece together events leading up to a double memory charm.

Apparently, Gilderoy Lockhart, had a habit of fondling his young female students, and then, obliviating them. The Bollocks Shriveling Curse the two enraged girls immediately placed on the pathetic pervert, occurred only hours before the subsequent events in the Chamber of Secrets.

Luna and Millicent, like many women, were reluctant to ever let their experiences be known. It was so highly personal and private. In addition, neither wished to be viewed as a victim by anyone in the wizarding world. No, the Shriveling Curse was almost always irreversible if left untreated. And that was the real reason Lockhart had wanted to flee Hogwarts so quickly. Too bad he “forgot” about the first curse, down in the Chamber of Secrets.

In any event, the disgusting idiot had been completely obliviated and would likely never regain any position of power again. He would never teach young girls again. Who needed the useless Ministry to do its usual ineffective job of “counseling” not punishing sex offenders – when a vengeful pair first and second year Hogwarts students managed to get the job done ever so more efficiently.

The point was, the shared experience had bonded Millicent and Luna as cherished friends, forever.

* * * * * * * * * *

So, in the dizzying weeks that followed the Great Triumph of the Light, wizards all over the world gave a collective sigh of relief. It was time to party.

After two weeks of fitness and relaxation at Britain’s most exclusive magical spa – Luna and Millicent emerged from their mutual cocoons. Millicent glowing with a happiness that comes from finally being oneself. And Luna, ah yes, Luna. She was the same, yet different. Her father was safe, her dear friends were all alive and well, and that dreadful boil on the butt of the world was gone forever.

“Are you ready to get your man?” Millie asked.

“Ah,” Luna sighed dreamily, “Decisions, decisions.”

The older girl guffawed. “Please! I’ve watched all those muggle romances at least a dozen times!”

“Especially the ones with pirates.”

“Erm, right. The point is, I know when you’re trying to act all, you know, cool.”

“Ooh, Mill, do you really think I can act cool? Wouldn’t that be delightful? ‘Luna Lovegood is cool.’” She sighed again.

“Could we just stay on-topic? We both know you’ve got your eye on one particular guy.”

“Yes, well.” Luna cleared her throat. “I have ascertained the perfect venue for our...debut. The fancy-dress gala at the Ministry.”

“Fancy dress?” Millicent shuddered.

The other girl smiled gently. “This isn’t going to be one of those horrid tangles in Slytherin where they make you share a thestral costume with Vincent Crabbe –“

“-I didn’t mind so much, except I had to be the tail!”

“Never mind that. You’re not with those stinkers anymore. You can choose your own gosh-darned costume! The heck with those sullen, slimy, snake-bitten snots!”

“You’re so cool when you’re being alliterative!” There was a pause. “Which costumes should we choose, then?”

“Anything we like?”

“Anything.”

“Could...could I even be...Xena?”

“That’s perfect!”

Millicent beamed. She adored muggle television, especially programs where women regularly beat the crap out of smarmy badguys.

“Come to think of it, you bear an uncanny resemblance to that very actress. The hair, the eyes...and now that you’ve toned up, these past couple of years, the build, too.”

After a sufficient amount of time had been given over to Millicent’s deafening paroxysms of delight, it was time for Luna to reveal her own choice of attire.

“I’m wearing Mummy’s maid costume.”

“Ooh! The one you said she always used to wear to the cinema?”

“Yes, indeed,” Luna gave another dreamy sigh. It all made perfect sense. It was an inspiration. It was meant to be, she was sure. Mummy had always looked so beautiful on those nights. They were some of Luna’s most treasured childhood memories. At least twice a year, her parents would venture into muggle London to attend screenings of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.” Daddy would dress in his butler costume and hump, to play Riff Raff.

“You do realize, of course, that we’ll probably be the only two people at the ball without dates.”

“Mmm.”

“Not that I’ve ever even had a date, mind you. It’s just that it might have been nice to have one for a Ministry ball, that’s all.”

“Ah, but that’s perfect strategy!”

“How so?”

“Our dates will already be inside.”

“Oh. What???”

* * * * * * * * * *

ONE WEEK LATER.

Two unbelievably stunning young women entered the main rotunda of the Ministry of Magic. To the majority of those in attendance, who had never seen muggle television, the black-haired girl seemed a cross between an Amazon, a Valkyrie, and a female gladiator. She wore a minimum of clothing, most of which seemed to be tiny strips of leather. Her cleavage was, in a word, astounding.

The blonde also evoked gasps with her tiny black dress and lacy white apron. While somewhat less endowed than her companion, her own gifts were, in a word, substantial. In fact, so inadequate was the coverage on the upper portion of the scanty costume – two specific gifts were in immediate danger of being completely revealed.

In other words, for the first time in both their lives, Millicent Bulstrode and Luna Lovegood looked totally hot.

All eyes followed the duo as they strolled through the crowded ballroom, the upbeat strains of The Weird Sisters latest hit “Totally Demented!” wafting towards them. The lead guitarist had just moments before, executed a dazzling series of riffs, evoking frenzied shrieks of “Kirley!!!”

But never mind, because Luna and her loyal companion had already arrived at the first part of their evening’s destination: A gaggle of Gryffindors.

“Hi, guys!” Luna leaned over slightly, revealing even more of her rounded breasts. “You already know Millie, right? She was in your year, after all.”

“Guh,” was all Harry “007” Potter could manage.

“Guh,” added Neville “Merlin” Longbottom.

“Guh,” agreed Ron “Lame-Ass-Canons-Uniform” Weasley.

“Honestly, Luna,” Frizzy Red Riding Hood tsked. “Don’t you think your costume is a little indecent?”

“Don’t be rude, Hermione!”

“I was being honest!”

“Don’t be honest, then.” Harry winked at Luna. “It’s a terrific costume.”

“Mummy loved Magenta,” Luna sighed wistfully. “Of course, Mummy was a size 2 and I’m a size 8.”

“For goodness sakes, haven’t you heard of enlargement charms?”

“Remember that time in Second Year, when I had you in a headlock, Granger?” Millicent intervened. “Wasn’t that like, the best fun ever?” There was a pause. “Anyhow, I’m not after your man. It so happens, I’ve been saving myself for his older brother.”

“Guh,” exclaimed Ron Weasley.

“Luna, would you care to dance?”

“That sounds lovely, Harry.” She glanced over at Millie.

“No prob. Ron is going to be a total sweetie and introduce me to the adorably straitlaced and very eligible Percy.

“Guh!!!”

* * * * * * * * * *

A few minutes later, during a particularly slow dance, Harry Potter had his lips over Luna’s ear.

“Exactly what are you guys up to, tonight?”

“Millie has a crush on Percy.”

“Okay, first...eeww. There’s no accounting for taste. By the way, she really does look like Xena! Who’d have guessed? Meanwhile, what are you up to?”

“Hogwarts was miserable. It is now behind me. The war was horrible. It has ended at long last. I wish to make up for lost time. As a professional wallflower, I have ascertained that it is far more conducive to effective partying if one looks hot.”

“You look extremely hot, Luna.” Harry ignored the numerous wizards trying to cut in on their dance.

“Will this lead to snogging?”

“Hopefully.”

Luna pulled back, and regarded Harry for the first time. He looked exceedingly James Bond-ish in that sleek Armani tux. Just like in those wonderful muggle movies. His hair was tamed with a slight application of gel and his green eyes sparkled, actually sparkled behind new sleek frames. (The old glasses had been pulverized in the final battle.)

“Could we then proceed to sex, as well? I was really hoping for some sex, Harry.”

“Okay, kidding aside...”

“I’ve never had any sex. Everybody else seems to be having sex and it seems a rather nice thing. I wasn’t kidding about wanting to try it.”

“I know that,” Harry sighed. “It’s not me that you want to have sex with.”

“Oh, you’re still in love with Ginny.”

“Ginny’s with Seamus now.”

“Like that’ll last. Anyhow, you still haven’t gotten over her. So why don’t we help each other?

“Luna, neither of us wants a pity fuck, do we?” Harry stopped right in the middle of the dance floor. “I can certainly help you out, though.”

Grasping her by the hand, he led her across the crowded room, ignoring even more wizards and witches who were attempting to catch their eyes. On the way out of the building, they passed Millicent engaged in a serious conversation with a redheaded Sir Galahad.

“Yes, my dear Millicent,” he appeared to be addressing her breasts, “You are quite unique in your appreciation of the crucial need for further standardization of cauldron thickness...”

“Am I really, Percy?” Millicent delicately brushed his belt with a pink-lacquered fingertip.

“Ah, yes!”

“I do agree, Percy, that thickness is so much more important than mere size.”

“Um...yes. Absolutely!”

“There’s something about an organized and disciplined mind,” Millicent murmured. “I find it so erotic...especially the ‘disciplined’ part.” She paused to wrench his belt towards her. “How do you feel about discipline, Percy?”

“Guh!”

Harry continued to pull her through one hallway after another, until they reached a deserted alcove with an ancient velvet couch. There was a person sitting on that couch. He held a practically empty brandy snifter and a miserable expression. He was not wearing costume of any kind. Just the usual black from head to toe. A glittering Order of Merlin medal was the only spot of color.

“He always hides out here.”

“If you know I am hiding, kindly take the hint, and do not find me, Potter!”

“Come on, Severus! Say hi to Luna.”

The potions master glanced up. It was only his years as a Death Eater that preventing him from doing a double-take. “I do not require a maid!”

Oh, goodness! Did the entire world know about her old crush on Professor Sneery? Okay, so he’d saved her life twice – once during a Death Eater attack in Ottery St. Catchpole, and another in Hogsmeade a month afterwards.

“Um, hello, Professor Snape.”

Harry gave a faint smile. “I’ll leave you both to it, then!” and disapparated with a crack.

Who knew one could do that inside the Ministry? Then again, The Boy Who Lived was the exception to every rule.

“That’s quite a costume you’re not wearing, Lovegood!”

Ooh, yes! A scowl! From the very first day of Potions class, his scowls had given her a tingly feeling at the pit of her stomach. Go figure. But there it was. Anyhow, Luna was reassured by consensus that she looked hot.

“I disagree, Professor. I believe you do require the services of a femme de chambre.” Luna drew a breath and actually sat herself down in the startled man’s lap.

“I believe you’re somewhat inaccurate in your job description. I am not a female, and I do not require a lady’s maid.”

That sneer, though, had disappeared quite suddenly. And, hmm. The lap was responding to something. Ah, yes. Most definitely the stirrings of something. “Well, not quite true. The term can equally be applied to a generic chambermaid.”

“Do you consider yourself generic, Lovegood?” Snape’s long fingers idly traced a path from her knee to mid-thigh. “I wouldn’t.”

“Really?” Her voice came out a squeak.

“As much as it pains me to admit, you are unique. You possess a genuinely kind soul, and a bizarre yet interesting world view.” The hand left her thigh and now brushed teasingly along the exposed part of her breasts.
“Shall I continue?” It was more than a question.

“Please. I need all the compliments I can get, even the backhanded ones.”

“Shall I mention that I am increasingly drawn to you, against all rhyme or reason?”

“Well, let’s not get too Darcyish, though. It could really hurt my feelings.”

“What’s a Darcy?”

“Never mind,” she gasped as Snape’s other hand grasped her waist, “You were saying?”

But she was silenced by the mouth that suddenly covered her own. This continued with some extremely delectable variations for quite some time. There was mouth on lips. Lips on neck. Lips on earlobe. Tongue in mouth. Lips on breast. Tongue on nipple...ah! Circe!

“Well, Lovegood,” he at last pulled back somewhat shakily. “As I apparently find myself loathe to stifle the nauseating urge to call you “baby,” and “cupcake,” perhaps it is time to adjourn to a setting more conducive to our mutual ardor.”

“Ooh! You’re so hot when you snark!” Luna grinned. She should have felt shy and embarrassed sitting sprawled across the man’s lap. He had been the most feared professor at Hogwarts. He had been nasty. He’d made people cry. He had been unfair and snide. On the other hand, he had also been brave and decent. He had suffered in silence. He had survived. Just like her.

And Luna understood now why people wasted little time whenever wars came to an end. Why so many of them sought out companionship and permanence. Why they so eagerly embraced the chance of love. It just made sense, didn’t it? Even the most unlikely pairings.

“On the other hand, I suddenly find myself in a bit of a hurry.” Snape pulled her bodice even lower with one hand, as he casually flicked his wand for a Notice-Me-Not spell.

She felt a frisson of delight from his first-ever use of her name. “Rather!” Luna shifted her position slightly so that she now straddled him, and reached for the fastenings of his trousers.

Long, skilled fingers brushed along the satiny tops of her inner thighs, beneath the fishnet stockings. “No panties, Lovegood?” he purred.

“You mean you’ve JUST noticed? And I prefer‘Luna.’” Her own fingers continued to free the fastenings of his trousers. Finally, she liberated the true Snake of Slytherin. “Ah, there we are!”

“Lovegood!” came the rasp.

“Again, I reiterate - ‘Luna’” She arranged herself above him, just so, and slowly lowered her body onto his. He was large, so unexpectedly large, but she was moist and drew him in bit by bit.

“Gods!” Snape growled in astonishment, “Luna!” She was so hot and tight, He grasped her roughly and pulled her down completely.

Luna stifled a squeak. Oh! So nice. Quite delicious. The perfect way to lose ones viginity. Not that she would mention it. It just didn’t seem the...timely thing to do.

Meanwhile, Snape’s mouth crushed hers and he practically swallowed her tongue. His last conscious thought before descending down into a maelstrom of insane pleasure, was that Luna Lovegood’s dreamy, vacant expression was an utter turn-on during sex. Or perhaps, the lovely blonde had been thinking of sex all the time, and no one at Hogwarts had bothered to notice.

The potions master continued to thrust with increasing urgency, driving closer them closer and closer to –

“Severus, yesss!” she screamed, convulsing around him suddenly.

It was enough to push him over the edge, and he came with a harsh cry.

They collapsed against each other, gasping for breath. After what seemed liked an eternity Severus brushed his lips across one tender earlobe, and murmured, “Apparently, we have manage to discover only worthwhile use for the Ministry of Magic.”

“Mmm, although this couch...” Luna wrapped herself around him, and felt the trace of a kiss on her hair. “You said something about adjourning somewhere?’

“My private chambers are, no doubt, a superior venue, and considerably more private. You would find my rather large bed...comfortable, I hope.” Just for a moment, something flickered in his shadowy eyes. Was it doubt? Did he actually think she might not wish to carry this any further?

“How are we getting there?” she smiled, and for the first time since she’d known Severus Snape, the man smiled back. Perhaps just the whisper of a smile, but for someone like him, it was enough to light up the alcove and still have brightness to start a glow inside of Luna.

Barely a second later, she was pulled tightly against the hard length of his body and with a faint pop, Severus apparated them back to Hogwarts.


THE END