FIC: A Second Chance (Snape/Narcissa)
To: a_belladonna
From: Your Secret Santa

Title: A Second Chance
Author: meri_oddities (website)
Pairing: Snape/Narcissa
Summary: Sometimes you get lucky and get a second chance comes to you.
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: none
Word count: 3816
Author's notes: Many thanks to my betas who will remain nameless until the reveal.


*****

The bell over the door tinkled and Snape looked up. Narcissa Malfoy, dressed immaculately, stepped into his shop.

Snape sighed and straightened his robes. "Narcissa. What can I do for you?"

She smiled at him. A sunny, bright smile that Snape knew better than to trust.

"It's good to see you looking so well," Narcissa said. "You're fully recovered?"

"I have been for some time." After the snake attack, he'd been in St. Mungo's for nearly a week. And that was after he'd swallowed a bezoar, taken a vial of anti-venom potion, and a blood replenisher for good measure.

Her smile didn't dim. "It was fortunate that Potter got to you in time."

It galled him that he was beholden to Potter, but he wasn't going to discuss that with her. She had as much reason to be obliged to Potter as he did. More. Potter had kept Lucius out of Azkaban after the war.

"Was there something else you wanted?"

She cleared her throat and looked too much like a Gryffindor gathering her courage. "I'd like to invite you to dinner tonight."

He glared at her. "Why?"

"I can't invite an old friend to dinner?" She affected a hurt look.

"I was Lucius' friend." And once Lucius found out that Snape had been a spy for Dumbledore -- and worse yet, the reason for it -- he'd refused to see Snape.

"Were not Lucius' friends my friends as well?" she asked.

There would be no arguing with her and frankly, he was curious. He inclined his head. "All right. When?"

For a moment, a look of triumph lit her eyes before she banked it. "Seven for drinks?"

"The manor?"

"No. After...everything, I've moved out of the manor. It will be Draco's when he's done with school." She genuinely sounded relived to be quit of the place.

Snape could not blame her. "I had an owl from him last week. I gather he's done well and is ready to sit his N.E.W.T.S."

"I'm proud of him." She handed Snape a card with her address on it. "I have a townhouse in Mayfair."

The most expensive and exclusive magical enclave in all of England. "Of course you do."

"I will see you tonight," Narcissa said over her shoulder as she left.

*****

At 6:59 exactly, Snape Apparated to the front door and knocked. He was surprised, but pleased, when she answered herself. Obviously, she wanted something, but he could not for the life of him imagine what it could be.

If it were a potion, she would have just asked and despite his success with his shop, he didn't come close to the Malfoy wealth. He could think of nothing he had that she could want.

He'd changed into more formal robes, and so had she. Her blond hair had been arranged into a chignon at the nape of her neck. A few soft strands hung loose to soften her face.

"Severus," she said, her voice low. "Do come in." She glided forward, leading him into the townhouse. "I thought we'd start with drinks in the library."

The room had two stories of floor to ceiling bookcases. He tried hard not to stare longingly at the shelves.

"Tell me how your shop is doing." She handed him a drink.

"It's doing well, as I'm sure you know. What is this all about? What do you want from me?" No doubt it was rude to put it so bluntly, but it had been a long day already, and his patience was already wearing thin.

She didn't seem to notice, indeed, she smiled as she sat beside him on the tasteful brocade sofa. "You're very suspicious, aren't you?"

"I'm just not much for useless small talk. You were going to tell me what you wanted?"

"Dinner with a friend." Clearly, what she wanted was for him to guess.

And he had no interest in doing that. He'd say he had no interest in dinner, either, but he did. It had taken less than a year in the silence of his own company for him to realize that perhaps it wasn't what he wanted after all. "I suspect I'd be more likely to believe that if I'd seen you more than twice in the last six months."

"Come now, Severus, I've been in mourning."

"Technically, you still are."

"Only for another week or two. I did love Lucius." But theirs had been an arranged marriage, tying the nouveau riche Malfoys with the old and respected Blacks.

"But he's gone now, right? Who are you trying to win over and what is my role in this to be?" If it wasn't too much trouble, he'd help her if he could.

"I think that should be quite obvious." She tipped her glass towards him.

It took a second more under her intense gaze for him to understand what she meant. And then another to believe that she was serious. "You're joking?"

"Not at all." She took a sip from the cut crystal tumbler.

It wasn't often that he could be so thoroughly taken off guard, but she'd managed. "Why?"

"Several reasons. I wish to marry again. You're available and appropriate." She was quite serious.

Which Snape found outrageous. "Appropriate? To whom?"

"To Wizarding society. To me."

"I think not. If you'll recall, I killed Albus Dumbledore."

"And Harry Potter testified at your hearing and said, if I recall correctly, that if you weren't a hero then neither was he. Don't underestimate yourself. Right now, you've got nearly as much cachet as Potter and his little friends. And Let's not forget the Order of Merlin, first class."

"I doubt the people you associate with will think highly of your choice." Snape shuddered at what Lucius might think of what she was suggesting. Of course, if he were alive to think it, it wouldn't be an issue.

"However, the people I want to associate with will be delighted. As will the people with whom my son will do business in the future." She looked right at him. "You helped win the war for the light."

"I did it for Lily Potter."

"Which sounds all well and good, but after all that time, you don't really expect anyone to believe it, do you?"

"It's true." Or at least it was the only reason he would give to anyone foolish enough to ask.

She tilted her head towards him. "After all this time?"

"Always." But after all that had happened, the word tasted like ash in his mouth.

"And you'd rather remain alone with your old memories, than possibly forge a future for yourself." There was the scorn he'd expected sooner in the conversation. "A future where you could have a family? Children, even."

He sucked in a breath, his heart starting to pound. "What makes you think I'd even want that?"

Her eyes narrowed and her jaw tightened. "And you'd prefer to be alone? Unloved by anyone?"

"You don't love me." He gritted his teeth. It wasn't unexpected that he'd end up alone, but the prospect had always had an end. Now, it stretched on for many, many years.

"Not now. But I grew to love Lucius. I doubt you'd be any harder to love than he was."

Snape laughed, bitterly. "Look at me and say that."

She met his eyes. "You're far less likely to stray. That would be novel enough to make me appreciate you."

"What makes you think I would remain faithful?"

"The fidelity part of the bond would mean something to you. You're far more Gryffindor than you let on."

"There is no need to insult me." But there was no denying that she was right and they both knew it. And he'd promised himself when he'd been lying on the ground half-afraid he'd bleed to death, that if he lived he would find something more than the life he had. "I don't know if I can," he said in a moment of brutal honesty.

"You're not yet forty. You've got many years to live --"

"You sound like Dumbledore." He sat back, closing his eyes for a moment.

"I'm not sure I care for the comparison, but he isn't wrong."

"As I said, I don't know." A tremor went through him.

"Perhaps you'd consent to court me."

He choked. "Why are you so desperate?" None of this made any sense. He knew there had to be more to it than what she was saying. "A witch such as yourself does not give herself to the likes of me."

"As I've said, you're selling yourself short."

"I’m not selling myself at all."

She sighed, putting her glass down. "I want to make sure that I don't become a liability to Draco. I want to leave everything that was associated with Voldemort behind. Why are you being so stubborn? This is clearly in your best interest."

"I've had people tell me that before."

"I'm hardly going to betray you. Especially, if I've gone to all this trouble to have you."

Snape could think of several scenarios where someone might do this to avenge Voldemort, but Narcissa had nothing to gain and no loyalty to Voldemort.

"All right. But there is no need to engage in a full courtship. Why don't we have dinner?"

"I thought that was what we were doing?" She waved a hand in the direction of a small table set in front of the window that looked out on the lamp-lit garden.

"I was thinking of more often, and in public. You can be seen with me, and then you don't have to go through all the bother of a courtship. You needn't marry me."

With a sigh that sounded a bit exasperated, Narcissa folded her arms over her chest. "Wizards our age don't date like children do. We court. Or we marry. You know that."

She was right, of course. But Snape could not bring himself to believe she wanted him on any level beyond his name. He wasn't going to give her that, not without the rest.

He put a hand on her wrist and tugged her closer. Leaning in, he pressed his lips to hers. Her mouth felt mushy under his, and he wasn't sure he cared for the sensation of her teeth pressed into his lips.

She put a hand on his cheek, and eased him back. "Gently. Like this."

Humiliation washed over him. She knew. Her hand gripped his arm as he would have pulled back. He waited for laughter, for her to accuse him. Instead, she pressed her mouth to his, lightly, her lips soft against his.

The kiss was distracting. Not what he'd thought it would be like. Sweet. Tentatively, he pressed in, his tongue sliding out to meet hers. Oh. A shiver went through him as his tongue touched the tip of hers.

He couldn't breathe and he pulled back gasping, wanting to say he'd never known, never even suspected. But he'd known. Kissing Lily had been his favorite day dream for years. And when it was irrecoverably denied him, he'd decided there would be no one else. And he'd clung to that like the Gryffindor that she had been.

Narcissa's hand brought his face up and it was too much to hope that she would kiss him again. "Severus?"

There were too many questions in his name. None that he could or would answer. Maybe he'd been wrong to deny himself, but for years after Lily's death -- which he'd helped cause -- anytime he spoke to a woman he'd felt like he was betraying her memory. That she'd have laughed at him for it, hadn't changed the situation.

He shook his head. "I must go."

"Don't run away. It's all right." Her voice was low and soft, coaxing. And he wished it had no effect on him.

"I won't stand here and be humiliated."

"We're sitting. And I would not hurt you." But she didn't go on.

He looked up and met her eyes. "You would. How could you not? It's pathetic." I'm pathetic.

"It's odd, perhaps. Unlikely, definitely. Pathetic? I don't think so." She was smiling softly.

Snape closed his eyes, so that maybe she wouldn't see the desire that had risen in him. His whole body was shaking with it as if he were a teenager.

"Come here."

He should fight it, her. It was galling to be so helpless. Of their own volition, his hands tangled in her hair. Slowly this time, he leaned in, brushing his lips against hers. It shouldn't have sparked such desire in him. It shouldn't have tasted like honey. He shouldn't give in, even if it was better than he'd ever thought anything could be.

Again, she pulled away, and he had to force himself not to follow. "Perhaps we should go upstairs?"

A slow coil of heat was invading his belly. It wasn't comfortable. And retreat seemed like a reasonable alternative. "Perhaps we should eat, instead."

Narcissa frowned. "Do you not want to --"

"I think it's glaringly obvious that..." He stopped. What could he say? His cock was straining against the placket of his trousers, and he wasn't sure he could walk. The fire in his gut was ready to consume him.

"The question remains."

"Yes. But I don't think the time --"

Narcissa put her hands on his arms and chuckled, but not cruelly. "How much longer are you going to wait?"

Snape's face went hot and he glanced down. This was ridiculous. He had been a spy. Had fooled everyone for years. He could lie with absolute impunity and no one the wiser. Why was this reducing him to idiocy?

"Severus," Narcissa said, taking his clammy hand. "Come here." The sound slithered along his spine, making his hard cock ache even more.

Trying not to hyperventilate, he allowed himself to be drawn into her arms.

It was suddenly so hot in the room that he couldn't begin to draw a breath. His fingers were shaking visibly as he unbuttoned the top button on his coat.

Her mouth covered his again, and he groaned into it. How could he have lived his entire life without knowing this?

When she pulled back she brought his hand to her mouth and kissed his palm. She didn't ask this time, she simply led him out of the room and up the stairs. Her bedroom was enormous. A massive bed sat on a slightly raised dais with a white coverlet. Sheer white curtains covered the windows. Somehow seeing the moon outside comforted him.

He knew that he would not make a good showing. That she would have fuel for ridicule for many years if he stayed, but she kissed him again and he couldn't think of anything other than the softness of her lips and the heat of her mouth on his.

One of her hands reached for his belt, unbuckling it with surprising ease. She undid the buttons on his trousers, also with one hand. And when she slipped her cool hand into his underpants, wrapping her fingers around him, Snape gave a short sharp cry and came.

He closed his eyes, beyond words. With all of his heart, he wished that the floor would swallow him up and he wouldn't have to hear her laughter. Jerking away from her, he tried to do up his messy clothes and escape.

As if she knew what he was thinking, she closed her arms around him. "That could not have been completely unexpected."

"What are you talking about? It was --"

"Expected. Don't be so hard on yourself. Most men would have reacted the same way."

"Most men aren't --"

"No. Not at your age. But if they hadn't in a while, they might go off like that. It's a compliment to the lady."

"You're determined not to find fault. That isn't very Slytherin of you." He breathed out in relief.

She looked up at him. "Of course it is. Humiliating you won't endear you to me. And I do want you. Do you think me unaffected to see you explode like that at my touch?"

"You haven't seen me," Snape said. And then wished he hadn't.

"Easily remedied." She took her wand and waved it at him. "Demo induvius."

His clothes disappeared, and he wanted to hide, but there was nowhere to go, nothing he could do. The blush started at his toes, but he held his head up and met her stare. For a moment, anyway, then she was making a show of looking him over. He couldn't believe he was starting to become aroused again. But under her gaze, he came back to full readiness.

"Something else to be said for it." She reached out, running her finger across the bobbing head. "Shall we move on to the next part?"

There would be no dissuading her now. And really, Snape no longer wanted to. It was finally time to let the past go.

Narcissa took her outer robe off, and then turned to face him. "Undress me."

His fingers shook as he unbuttoned her inner gown and slipped it over her head. She wore a simple white bra and panties, a bit of lace around the edges, but nothing like he'd imagined she might. Her body was slim and toned.

As he watched she reached behind her and undid her bra, letting it fall off. She stepped out of her panties.

Oh. Oh. The ache inside him got worse. She was beautiful. He reached out, cupping her breast. It was every bit as soft and smooth as he'd always imagined. He moved his fingers, testing, caressing, just simply feeling the luscious weight in his palm.

She drew in a sharp breath when he stroked his thumb over her hard nipple. It didn't sound like she was in any kind of pain.

Encouraged, Snape leaned in and kissed her bare shoulder, mouthing down slowly to the swell of her breast, and then over it.

Narcissa's back arched. "Oh, yes."

He slid his arm around her back, and suckled her nipple, running his tongue around it. Her skin was delicious, smooth and sweet smelling. She whimpered, but inexplicably pulled back.

Before he could protest, she took his hand and led him to her bed. She waved her hand and the coverlet and blankets folded themselves to the foot of the bed. He thought about saying something about the wandless magic, but she lay down and tugged him down beside her. Anything he might have wanted to say vanished completely from his mind.

He gathered her into his arms and rolled them so that she was on top. She reached behind her and held him, moving back and up. As she met his eyes, she sank down on him.

Exquisite heat surrounded him and he started to pant. Closing his eyes, he pushed up tentatively into her. She moaned, her hands tightening on his shoulders.

Encouraged, he did it again. The slick heat was almost more than he could bear and he took several breaths, trying to calm his racing pulse. As he pushed up, she moved down, and the friction intensified, exponentially. His whole body tightened with a familiar burn.

No. Not again. He took a shuddering breath, fighting it, trying to step back. Taking hold of her hips, he sat up, his knees spreading her thighs farther apart, and driving him deeper into her heat. She whined, grinding down on him. Sweating, panting, he tried to hold off the onslaught.

He licked a stripe up her chest and buried his face between her breasts, breathing in the intoxicating scent of her skin.

Narcissa leaned down and kissed him. She took his hand and pressed it where she was joined to him. He had a vague idea of what she wanted, and tried to concentrate on moving his fingers into the right place to give her pleasure.

"Yes. There," she gasped. He moved his finger back and forth in that spot.

She tightened around him, moaning. After a second, she sagged a bit. He ground up into her, and let go, moaning her name.

*****

Snape lay back, tightening his arms around Narcissa and trying to catch his breath. It was better than he'd believed it could be. Beyond words.

She leaned down for a kiss before she slid down next to him. "You know, it's considered a great honor to be the first."

As much as he'd enjoyed it -- and he had -- he couldn't imagine that Narcissa had gotten that much out of it. "Only when you're young."

"I think at any time. I'm honored." Whether or not she actually meant it, she sounded sincere.

Even if she were, it didn't mean he was willing to take the risk. "I still don't think a courtship is a good idea."

"What are you afraid of?" She brushed a finger along his side. "You've got everything to gain."

He tried not to wiggle away as it tickled him. "And much to lose."

"It seems to me you've already lost something and it wasn't that bad." Her fingers wrapped around him again, and even though he'd come twice in a very short time, he twitched in her hand. That made her smile.

It wouldn't do to get used to this, the feel of her next to him. The idea of being able to reach out and find someone there. The part of him she was touching wasn't listening. "No. Not bad. But not a good idea."

"Are you saying no?" she asked.

And really, he wished she'd stop pushing. "I can't bring myself to do that, either."

"So, yes?"

"I'm not sure it's wise."

"You're very frustrating, do you know that?" But she didn't sound as if she wanted him to leave yet.

He leaned up on one elbow to scowl down at her. "You're the one who wants to marry me."

Instead of being put off, she laughed and touched her finger to his lips. "I do want to marry you. And you want it too, don't you?"

"Possibly." But he did, and he rather thought that she knew it by now. If nothing else, the fact that he was trying desperately not to smile was her first clue.

"Good. The courtship will take at least a year. And if you're willing, I'd like to wait a few more months before we begin."

"Then why did you come to me now?"

"I was tired of sleeping alone in this big bed."

Snape leaned over and kissed her, slowly, savoring the taste of her mouth. "That I do understand."

"I thought you might." She slid a hand into his hair, and kissed him again. Severus let her push him back down and press in beside him.

It felt so good not to be alone.