Wed, Aug. 19th, 2009, 08:07 pm
disdainful_soul: It's Happened
There's a Twilight dildo
. (Link obvs. NSFW) And it sparkles in the sunlight!JUST IN TIME FOR HALLOWEEN! Who doesn't love those dark and mysterious vamps on the screen and in the books we all thumb through lustfully? That's what we thought. For those of us who fantasize about being spellbound and tantalized by the forbidden comes The Vamp. We promise this vamp won't be the only thing coming for you in the night.
The Vamp is a realistic form dildo based appropriately on our Sire's design but with a deathly pale flesh tone reminiscent of the new moon's glow. Don't be surprised if this toy seduces you, its long sleek shaft and deliciously ridged head calling to you in the twilight. But don't save this for just nocturnal escapades, try taking our Vamp out in the sunlight and watch him sparkle.
The Vamp is a web only exclusive offering through TantusInc.com for $39.99. We are currently taking pre-orders for this one of a kind toy. We will be shipping them first come first serve starting 9/1/09. Don't let this eclipse pass into the breaking dawn, place your order today.
Wed, Aug. 19th, 2009 09:40 am (UTC)
OMFG. Tantus, you are amazing XD
I just might have a few Tantus toys and some of them just might be quite sparkly. Those things really glitter, and not that big chunk glitter either, really fine pretty sparkles. I'm sure the picture doesn't do the Vamp's sparkles justice.
Wed, Aug. 19th, 2009 11:47 am (UTC)
I sort of can't believe it took this long. I love how they got in all the titles :D
Wed, Aug. 19th, 2009 01:26 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I'm really only surprised that it took this long. And it's STILL better than the homemade action figure vibrator that still haunts my dreams. YES, IN A BAD WAY.
Wed, Aug. 19th, 2009 07:35 pm (UTC)
Well, I wouldn't expect it to haunt you in a good way.
Fri, Aug. 21st, 2009 06:21 pm (UTC)
The homemade WHAT??
Actually, you know what? I don't want to know.
Sat, Aug. 22nd, 2009 04:44 pm (UTC)
Someone took a little 7" Edward action figure (THE SAME ONE THAT I HAVE), hooked it up to a large, loud battery, and accosted some of the actors with it at a lunch that she won. I think it was in an earlier post here--links to pictures and everything.
Wed, Aug. 19th, 2009 01:54 pm (UTC)
Oh Lord. I looked at it and thought "Aww, that is so cute!"
Wed, Aug. 19th, 2009 02:34 pm (UTC)
That bad boy is totally gonna sell out.
Thu, Aug. 20th, 2009 01:07 am (UTC)
Wed, Aug. 19th, 2009 04:12 pm (UTC)
Really says something about me when my immediate reaction to seeing that and reading about it was, "Reminiscent of the new moon's glow, huh? How very interesting."
Wed, Aug. 19th, 2009 07:30 pm (UTC)
Thu, Aug. 20th, 2009 02:13 pm (UTC)
Yessss. That's what my reaction was, too. Only less "how very interesting" and more "holy fuck what the heck smeyer does anyone know what a new moon actually is anymore i hate you for that stupid title so much"
But, uhm, it's one of my biggest pet peeves when folks try to shoehorn all four titles into one description. So. >.>
Wed, Aug. 19th, 2009 05:26 pm (UTC)
Whoever wrote the ad copy for that thing needs to be dragged out and whipped. Dear lord, that's painful.
(Although to be fair, my boyfriend points out that it is probably tongue-in-cheek, and the person who wrote it was no doubt giggling hysterically through the whole assignment.)
Wed, Aug. 19th, 2009 07:10 pm (UTC)
God knows I would be.
Wed, Aug. 19th, 2009 11:43 pm (UTC)
Those girls at Comic-Con who didn't know what orgasms are will finally learn.
Thu, Aug. 20th, 2009 04:39 am (UTC)
Unlikely, given it doesn't vibrate.
Fri, Aug. 21st, 2009 04:08 am (UTC)
Fri, Aug. 21st, 2009 05:53 am (UTC)
A few posts back, someone posted a quote from a Twihard at Comic-Con where she said, "I don't know what an orgasm is, but I think I just had one!"
It made me sad and horrified at the same time.
Sat, Aug. 22nd, 2009 04:46 pm (UTC)
This is why I'm starting to think that maybe Twilight sex toys would actually be the best thing ever, and possibly make the world a better place if all these girls ended up buying them.
Thu, Aug. 20th, 2009 12:01 am (UTC)
Did anyone else watch the vid? They mention that their toys are boilable, bleachable, and... dishwasher safe.
Speaking as someone who works in a microbiology lab, the boiling and bleaching seems perfectly sensible, but... dishwasher-safe? Is this, er, common practice? Putting them in the dishwasher, I mean?
//has led sheltered life, apparently
///this could make for some interesting and awkward roommate discussions, yes?
Thu, Aug. 20th, 2009 12:16 am (UTC)
I obviously can't speak for all dishwashers out there, but mine has a sanitize option -- if I wanted to clean a toy without fuss, I'd probably pop it in there.
Though... my room mates and I have a bad habit of running the dishwasher but not unloading it, and I'd probably forget to slip it out. >_>
Thu, Aug. 20th, 2009 06:56 am (UTC)
That's one of the pros of the new pyrex dildos. When I lived alone, I would pop them in there on the super-duper hot cycle. Also, that is how I would clean my horse bits and stirrups, so, um. I guess it would depend on the person if they thought those were better or worse.
Fri, Aug. 21st, 2009 04:09 am (UTC)
Depending on what the toy is made of using the dishwasher is pretty common.
Fri, Aug. 21st, 2009 03:23 pm (UTC)
Well, according to the CSI rerun on yesterday featuring a neighbourhood of swingers, it is.
Thu, Aug. 20th, 2009 04:23 am (UTC)
Yes the The Vamp retains hot and cold temperature. Toss it in the fridge for that authentic experience.
I ... I can't believe it actually said that. D:
Thu, Aug. 20th, 2009 06:07 pm (UTC)
I know... I can't believe they actually went there. I mean... 1) what 2) ew 3) don't just HAND THEM ideas 4) IT CAN'T BE AUTHENTIC BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT REAAAAAAAL ASDLKFJASLDKGHKH;
Thu, Aug. 20th, 2009 05:36 am (UTC)
Oh Twilight fandom. You are seriously fucked up when I look at this and the first thing that comes to mind is "Hey, at least it's not homemade."
Thu, Aug. 20th, 2009 10:37 am (UTC)
The fact that there is very little surprise in the comments amuses me the most. You guys, I think we're a little jaded by the internet.
Thu, Aug. 20th, 2009 03:41 pm (UTC)
Okay, how long until some crazy fan puts this in a care package for Robert Pattinson?
Thu, Aug. 20th, 2009 04:59 pm (UTC)
It's probably already on its way.
Fri, Aug. 21st, 2009 05:55 am (UTC)
He'll love it! He can menace people with it, and use it to beat back the crazy Twifans who have never seen a cock before and are scared of them.
Can't you just see him, manically wielding a sparkly dildo like a sword at his would-be molesters?
Fri, Aug. 21st, 2009 09:04 am (UTC)
I want to see that on the cover of Us
Thu, Aug. 20th, 2009 05:02 pm (UTC)
Heh. "Toss it in the fridge for that authentic experience." You know the copywriter is having a field day with this one.
Fri, Aug. 21st, 2009 01:44 pm (UTC)
It didn't look very sparkly in that little video. I'm almost disappointed.
And so glad the Twilight obbsessed neices are too young to know about those things.
Thu, Jan. 5th, 2012 10:00 am (UTC)
Cleanness is not an abstract notion. When something is clean, it has no grime, no stains on and smells fresh. Anything else can be regarded as dirty. Your home is dirty when it hasn’t been cleaned for weeks and months. Some deep cleaning
and carpet cleaning
is all that you should do now. Rely on garden clearance London
to make your yard a dream garden.