The HMS STFU
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March 17th, 2011
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| Dear the_hms_stfu members, This comm has been running for a long time - we've been on JF since September 2005, and were on LJ before that. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince had just come out, and canon deniers were wanking up a storm. Gradually that died down, but the Snapewives were there to pick up the slack. For a while, though, we've been running on empty. J. K. Rowling gave us the last piece of the canon in 2007, apart from little bits in interviews and the Scottish Book (and who knows when that's going to be published). The crazy shippers have dispersed or locked down, and the Snapewife fervor has been replaced by a kind of forced-but-determined refusal to make any sense. Gone are the days of total batshit insanity and really memorable wank. And recently we've had a few wanks of our own. Kind of serious ones, too, that have gotten us on unfunny_fandom and made us look bad. That plus the unexceptional nature of what tends to get posted here has made us reconsider the future of this comm. We have decided that the_hms_stfu has had a good run, but it is time for it to close. There will be no new posts here, and you will have to go to ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/community.gif){kind=small} dedfromsnake for your Snapewank fix.Yours, the mods (ETA: Thanks for your kind words, you guys. We'll always have Paris!) | ||||||||
comments: 53 delusional shippers poked or Poke a delusional shipper   |
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| Comments on all posts are disabled and posting access has been switched to moderated until the three mods have come to a decision about what to do with the HMS STFU and it's current state of complete fuckwittery. | ||||||
| comments: Poke a delusional shipper |
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| Anonymous commenting is closed. | ||||||
| comments: Poke a delusional shipper |
March 16th, 2011
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| I will consult with the other mods including our Lord High Mod Das Mervin as to the wisdom of ending anonymous comments here, either temporarily or permanently. I am so looking forward to reading a bunch of comments here from white women who are trying to more sensitive-than-thou. You guys love to wank about how Snapefen can't distinguish fact from fiction. Guess what? The Dark Mark is also FICTION. As a non-white woman, I couldn't care less whether somebody had a tattoo of the DM. The first sentence, people and full-of-their-own-badselves-nonnies is the kicker. I don't care how finely tuned ANYONE'S Magic 8 Ball is, that's one mother of an assumption right there. The resulting dog pile is another factor. There are, I know, a boat load of adults here, journalfen is built that way. It might be well on occasion to IGNORE an obvious troll. It might be well not to engage in -ist conversations. The STFU made unfunny_fandom. Again. Quite right too. Nothing funny going on here. The opening sentence of the above-quoted response is the online equivalent of Setting It Off. The avalanch of responses shows how easily people are willing to join in. Comments to this post are closed. What happens next, I don't know. I'm not the only mod. My vote is either to close anonymous commenting or delete this community. We'll see. | ||||||
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| People on SF Drama are wanking about HP. http://community.livejournal.com/sf_dra http://community.livejournal.com/sf_dra ETA: the poster who wanted a Dark Mark tattoo is a Nazi fetishist. | ||||
| comments: 143 delusional shippers poked or Poke a delusional shipper |
March 9th, 2011
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| Also known at the part where Neville literally considers snapping Harry's neck on a whim | ||||||
| comments: 29 delusional shippers poked or Poke a delusional shipper |
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| Hi guys, sorry for the massive delay. This chapter, despite Harry finally coming into the fold to be insulted for not being as manly as Neville, was really boring. So boring I didn't spork the last small chunk but that's probably for the best. It's MurderGoreFest '08 next, which I'll hopefully find a bit more entertaining to spork. | ||||||
| comments: 33 delusional shippers poked or Poke a delusional shipper |
March 2nd, 2011
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| Or, Let's Hope the Harmoanians Don't Find Out About This and Get Entitled. So. There's this indie RPG series called Aveyond. What's it about? I'll let a regular at the official forums summarize. One of the staples of the series is pairing up party members (or not), which leads to multiple endings. Because all games are set in the same world, some endings and pairings end up being confirmed canon, but players can still have their non-canon endings, so everyone's happy, right? ( cut for length and spoilers for the whole series ) And just for fun, a forum member realizes that Edward Cullen of Twilight is a mash-up/lovechild of several Aveyond characters and everyone makes a rush for the brain bleach if you don't get how Stella fits in, remember that Twilight vampires are butterflies. | ||||||
| comments: 15 delusional shippers poked or Poke a delusional shipper |
March 3rd, 2011
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| Not Snape related! Not even the same fandom! Yay! If this is inappropriate I will apologise and remove, but... Dear Specific Fanfic Author, You are the friend of an online friend, and have always been friendly to me, and I will remember this. I am not going to bash the author I am not going to bash the author I am not OH FUCK IT YES I AM. You. YOU. Oh so very much you. Your writing is crap, you put things in dialogue that sound clunky and clumsy because they belong in thoughts. Every single character, no matter their level of education or way of speaking in canon, speaks in exactly the same clumsy, clunky, overly-expositionish way. You write a character who is canonically PANSEXUAL, very sexually adventurous and insanely sexually experienced (to the point where it's a bit of a canonical running joke - Him: "Hello..." Main Character: "STOP it!" Object of Attention: "I'm not complaining!") as being startled when his male lover grabs their erections and manually stimulates them both together during lovemaking, because supposedly nobody has ever done that for him before. Considering that according to where you've placed this fic in the canon timeline, this canonically pansexual promiscuous character has been alive for OVER A CENTURY AND A HALF at this point? If he has never done that before I will eat my DVD collection. Your ongoing slash epic fic started with these four words: "The bratty (name of female canon love interest)" - and I don't like the character at all either and have been guilty of bashing her myself in the past, but that still doesn't help your case with me. All of this? I could overlook as simply being thoughtless, or lacking a beta, or ESL, or somesuch. But this? Induces capslock of rage. ( Cut for potential triggers and consent issues ) Now, for your fic-reviewing habits. ( It Got Worse - mental health issues! ) TL;DR - Your habit of blaming the victim is giving me SO MUCH CAPSLOCK RAGE. | ||||||||
| comments: 21 delusional shippers poked or Poke a delusional shipper |
February 25th, 2011
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| In the last post people were requesting a Snapefen comm, here it is... dedfromsnake It is pretty basic and without any mods but it's there from anyone who wishes to post and/or read the Snapefen/Snapewives gibberish. | ||||
| comments: 10 delusional shippers poked or Poke a delusional shipper |
February 24th, 2011
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| I'm sorry for posting Snapewank again, but this seriously pissed me off. Maybe somebody will create a wank community only for Snapewives and leave HMS_STFU only for Harmoanians and all other wank (I can't do it myself, because I don't have a paid account)? Anyway... All posts were made by Silver Ink Pot. http://www.cosforums.com/showthread.p Quote: Originally Posted by Pearl_Took But then Sev went and joined the very people who wanted her dead. I'm not sure who wanted her dead when they were fifteen? I really don't get that. Just saying "Mudblood" in the books is not equal to wanting someone dead. Draco, who uses that word all the time and actually became a DE, never tried to kill Hermione, for instance, and actually refuses to identify her to his own father, then does the same with Harry, and before that he couldn't kill Dumbledore. So DE doesn't equal "racist murderer" in my mind, because we don't have proof that every DE was a murderer. That's an example of the "shades of gray" theory, in my opinion. Teenagers who aren't even DEs yet shouldn't be labeled "murderer." Harry refused to label Stan Shunpike as a DE even though he was flying around with them, and we know that Snape was there too and not actually trying to kill everyone he saw. Yes, it's bad company, but I'm glad that Harry at least stopped making sweeping generalities about Death Eaters. (No broomstick pun intended) Anyway, in my opinion, there's not one shred of evidence that Mulciber or anyone else wanted Lily dead at that time. Snape certainly didn't want her dead at fifteen, even if Lily's friend did want him dead and tried to make it happen. No one wanted her dead until quite a few years in the future, which no one saw coming. If she hadn't been Harry's mother, Voldemort wouldn't have cared about Lily at all once she turned down his offer to join the DEs. What I wonder is why Voldemort wanted her and James for the DEs? But that's for another discussion. The bottom line is, no one was hunting her down until she became a mother, so this idea that Lily was in danger from Snape's friends at Hogwarts just doesn't ring true for me. I think she is exaggerating and blowing it out of proportion, and the reverse is true: Lily thinks Snape is exaggerating about James and his friends. So to me, they are equally wrong in their perceptions. JMO ( More under the cut ) | ||||
| comments: 33 delusional shippers poked or Poke a delusional shipper |
February 23rd, 2011
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| Like many others here, I adore bad manips and bad fanart. On spitting_image a while back, there was a very memorable post that featured RedPassion and her rather... odd historical crush. It provided me with so many yuks that I went back today. And guess what? She's also a Snapewife! I'll give her credit for at least having better Photoshop skills than Snape's Rose. (And I was delighted to see she unlocked her Photobucket account again! It always gives me a laugh. Although not content to stick with Mark Harmon, Johnny Depp and David Tennant can also be seen badly photoshopped with Snape.) | ||||||
| comments: 25 delusional shippers poked or Poke a delusional shipper |
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| A small but silly wank. TwiggyMcBones posts a cute Rose and Scorpius Commission to DeviantArt. Harpsiccord/harpsi-fizz, who virulently hates Ron/Hermione, comments with Oh, wow! I love what you did with Rose's hair! This makes me curious to see what you'd do with a half-Cthulhu-Starspawn child, if you know what I mean (speaking of artistic depictions of abhorrent breeding crimes against nature and all, which you make so cute here!) LOL | ||||
| comments: 35 delusional shippers poked or Poke a delusional shipper |
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| Snapewives on Snape Character Analysis from COS forums are also wanking about Lily (it's like regularly sheduled wank or something) http://www.cosforums.com/showthread.p http://www.cosforums.com/showthread.p http://www.cosforums.com/showthread.p Some quotes: Minervas Cat Quote: Originally Posted by Pearl Took She did. She tells him, and she is clearly anxious about the issue, that she is worried about his association with Mulciber and Avery. Sev brushes it off. I got a different feeling from that scene. It seemed to me she was a lot more worried about having to make excuses and apologize for Severus than she was about his wellbeing. She makes it clear then, during the first discussin we see, and, also after SWM, that it's a great burden to her to have to keep apologizing to her friends for Severus because of his hanging around with Mulciber and Avery. She says they use Dark Magic, but she doesn't follow up by indicating any concern for Severus, only concern for her standing with all of her friends. "None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you." I'd hope at least one of her friends, Severus, himself, would understand why she talked to him. I'm not sure Severus brushed off her comments in that first scene, or became so enthralled by her criticizim of James that he just dropped the subject to bask in that for a bit. Harry notices the change in Severus demeanor while viewing the memory. With the pantsing, I might think that having his underwear showing and having attention called to it was probably stressful enough to elicit a few unsavory words, even if it wasn't removed until after Lily left. ( More under the cut ) | ||||
| comments: 26 delusional shippers poked or Poke a delusional shipper |
February 20th, 2011
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| Lily's Hypocrisy. Now with more wank and misogyny. Silver Ink Pot One theory I have is that Snape reminded Harry of Petunia, the person who ruined all his fun at home with her discipline. She was also a taskmaster like Snape, and expected Harry to do chores. So to Harry, Petunia let the spoiled Dudders get away with murder, just as Snape seemed to let Draco get away with . . . well, almost murder in HBP. Since Lily raked Snape over hot coals about Petunia several times and blamed him for her own bad relationship with her sister, it must have really been bitter for Snape to read that letter to Sirius and realize that she didn't seem to love Petunia anymore either. She had left her sister behind, just as she had left Snape behind. ... I really doubt that Severus ever saved Lily from his friends in Slytherin. My perception is that Lily is a cross between Hermione and Ginny, so not someone they would go after. We never see Draco, Crabbe and Goyle bothering Ginny, who is famous for the bat-bogey curse. One reason Lily comes across as unfair is the way things are told versus "shown" to us in the books. Lily tells us that Snape's friends are young DEs and bullies, but we don't actually see them bullying anyone, we just take her word that Mulciber has done something horrible to her friend Mary. But when she blames Snape for being just like Mulciber, it doesn't ring true becasue we don't even see Snape bullying anyone as a child, not even the branch scene with Petunia which seems like accidental magic against someone who is insulting him. ETA: and now we have a new page. An excerpt: Nyctalus Canon, as I see it, doesn't exclude the possibility that Lily also had some really good qualities. It's just that they aren't shown in the books, while I think her negative qualities do show clearly. On page, Lily is always quicker to judge than to listen, while in other characters' mentioning she appears tolerant and uncommonly kind. It just doesn't fit together. As for the blood supremacy issue I get the impression it was being used as an excuse for Lily to dismiss Severus, independently of whether he actually embraced it or not. Interestingly, this issue is not mentioned at all when Lily first berates Severus for his "friends's" behavior. And yet, it could very easily have been included, for example by stating that Mary MacDonald were Muggleborn. But in SWM, when the issue is suddenly brought up, Lily isn't the slightest bit interested in WHY Severus would actually call her "mudblood". Why did he think she deserved a slur at all; isn't that very strange, her trying to help him and all? If he disliked Muggleborns so much, how come he wanted to even befriend HER in the first place? And why on earth come trying to apologize afterwards? Either Lily has problems with her logics, or it's all actually about something else. My guess is that it was never about ideologies or beliefs in the first place, or diverging opinions or even Severus saying hurtful things to Lily or anyone else. It was about Severus never being good enough for Lily, never worthy of anything else than blame. And later it was about James Potter and Lily's feelings for him. Severus approached her first, but their friendship seems to always have been entirely on her terms, and she acts as if he should be grateful to be her aquiantance and even grateful to be alive. Basically, she doesn't need him, and now he's an obstacle, so by the time a conflict does approach, he has to go. ETA: And, by the way, I think the REAL reason Lily was furious after SWM wasn't anything Severus did to her; it was that she was utterly disappointed with James, that he wasn't the knight in shining armor she had hoped for, the arrogant but noble life-saver she had tried to convince Severus about. Instead, he was even worse than Severus had painted him; Severus was right all along, and now she was made a fool of. How convenient, though, that Severus did throw that slur at her, so the underlying issue didn't need to be brought up... Quote from: SIP But the story is that Lily has known Severus since childhood and they are "best friends." When your best friend is in trouble you help them, and not in some half-assed way during which you flirt with a bully. When your best friend apologizes, you listen, and you don't reject them forever just because you've made a new friend. I couldn't agree more. Silver Ink Pot Yes, it would be different if Lily had said, "I was trying to help you, Sev! I was on your side! How can you thank me by calling me a name?" But no. That isn't the conversation we have on the page. It's all about Lily's friends and how she's had to explain about their friendship "for years." It's been so hard on her. And the stuff about Mary and whatever Mulciber did to her under the Imperious: Why in the world is that worse than what James just did to Severus? Wasn't James just as horrible to disarm, petrify, scourgify, and depants Snape? I think Lily is one mixed-up girl, if she can justify that. If Snape is a racist, then Lily is just as wrong to be indifferent towards suffering just because Severus is (a) a boy and (b) in Slytherin. ... The racist thing is just an excuse to give Severus her final ultimatum. We have no way of knowing how many times she thought about dumping him before this, but the clue is in that line about "years" of explaining to her friends. I think she was ready to let Snape go so she did. It wouldn't have mattered whether he said that word or not - it could have easily been some other reason in the future. | ||||
| comments: 85 delusional shippers poked or Poke a delusional shipper |
February 18th, 2011
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| Damn, it's like ever since SIP wrote that James essay (or do we count the Doctor Who posts?), the "blaming everyone for screwing Snape over including the author" just keeps on coming. And now we return to the Lily hate: ( Read more... ) | ||||||
| comments: 64 delusional shippers poked or Poke a delusional shipper |
February 17th, 2011
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| Wanky Snapewives are very active this month. Harry’s Unpopularity: A Conspiracy Theory by terri_testing. Some quotes: Harry’s remarkably hard to get to know, isn’t he? Remarkably hard to get close to? The only people who seem to really like Harry for himself as of the beginning of OotP are Hagrid, the Weasleys, Hermione, and Sirius. How sure are we, really, that this reflects some flaw in Harry? Because, consider two final things. First, it’s convenient for Dumbledore, isn’t it, that Harry grows up with no attachment to the Muggle world, neglected, so emotionally deprived he is ready to latch on to the first friendly faces he sees? By some odd coincidence, his only relatives hate and fear magic and transfer that attitude automatically to their new ward. And by yet another odd coincidence, Harry’s first friends are among Dumbledore’s staunchest supporters. I’m disinclined to trust in coincidences that just happen to further the Twinkly One’s plans. In fact, that are integral to it. What would have happened to Dumbles’ plans had Harry been loved by the Dursleys and absorbed their attitude to magic, or had Harry’s first friend been a Malfoy rather than a Weasley? Secondly, Hermione told us, on the authority of the books that she stole from Dumbledore, that it is dangerous to become “too fond of or emotionally dependent on” a Horcrux object. If someone makes the error of getting “close emotionally” to the Horcrux, the encased soul-fragment may be enabled to flit out and possess the fond fool. Harry is a Horcrux, and I’ve previously suggested that Twinkles was perfectly cognizant of that fact when he parked that Horcrux with Lily’s Muggle relatives. I had thought that it was shocking of Twinkles to subject poor Petunia (and her family, and all the Muggles in Harry’s neighborhood and school) to the risk of being possessed. But maybe he didn’t. Maybe Twinkles had taken precautions against that eventuality. Petunia’s family and neighbors, and the kids at Harry’s school, were, after all, only at risk of possession if any of them became fond of the boy. The WW has Love Potions. And their antidotes. Entrancing Enchantments. And, presumably, their counterspells. The Veela-glamour… and there must be spells to resist that, or the refs would have given the match to Bulgaria. If attraction/interest, whether sexual or otherwise, can be artificially created or enhanced by magic, might it not also be artificially suppressed? Is there an enchantment, or a potion, that inhibits attraction/affection/love from developing? Oh, maybe no spell could stop True Love any more than it could start it—but could one, perhaps, put people off initially? Leave them cold? ... Now, supposing there were such a thing and Twinkles had used it on the Harrycrux, consider Harry’s introduction to the WW. Not only does Harry need to be recruited into a political camp, but also the degree of danger posed by the potentially-infectious Horcrux must eventually be evaluated. Harry is venerated as the Boy-Who-Lived—at some point someone’s going to be fond enough of the idea of Harry to be at risk, even if s/he doesn’t actually like the boy for himself. So, it would be prudent to select a few companions for Harry whose subsequent reactions can be carefully monitored. Give Harry, for the first time since he was a toddler, people who are not magically inhibited from liking him (or who he’s not inhibited from liking), let friendships develop, and watch how long it takes before the friends become possessed, and what the signs are. Now, since part of the point is indoctrination, one would naturally choose Harry’s possible friends only from among people who strongly hold the correct beliefs—the dogmas of the headmaster’s infallibility and the inferiority of dirty Slytherins, for example. | ||||
| comments: 66 delusional shippers poked or Poke a delusional shipper |
February 16th, 2011
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| 1) The Picture Book of James by Silver Ink Pot. Wouldn't it be great if every line of the HP series was illustrated and the text pared down in some minimalist form so that we didn't have to argue over silly things like meanings and definitions? I mean, Dude, seriously, I understand that as an essay writer, I'm part of the problem. I know I get wordy when talking about words, and I have this dreadful flaw of working outward from the text to find my symbolism, using illegal and old-fashioned methods such as quoting from the books, using the dictionary, and drawing my own conclusions.I can see why that would make someone pull their hair out and scream, not to mention the name-calling and the nervous breakdowns. And that's only from people who didn't actually read it, but merely saw the title of my essay in their email before getting hysterical and running out the door into the street. That's so unfortunate, and I feel just downright terrible about it. So I'm trying to find new ways to connect with my So here is a very short and sweet retelling of one part of my essay James Potter's Cloak and the Vault of Immeasurable Wealth in terms that hopefully even a "4-year-old can understand" as Denzel said several times in "Philadelphia." Please. Give me a chance before drinking more hater-ade. I can do this. 2) Lots of new comments on Unlikely Allies Chapter Eleven: Those of Great Ambition. Pure, unadulterated batshit from terri_testing and marionros. I think this exchange is my favorite: ojuzu If Potter’s parents and his parents’ friends were Gryffindors, then Gryffindors were the ones who left him to the Dursleys. So of course he rejected that house. Oooh, that's a nice way to spin it. terri_testing Gryffindors were the ones who left him [Harry] for the Dursleys. Spinning it this way--oh, I spun on my own axis when I spotted this particular gyration for Sev. Glad you appreciated it! | ||||||
| comments: 22 delusional shippers poked or Poke a delusional shipper |
February 14th, 2011
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| This is still pretty small, but apparently SIP thinks JKR's exhusband looks like James. Because he's got dark hair and glasses like at least half the world's male population I'm guessing? Also, is it just me or is this comment really disturbing? wobblerlorri: "Hm. Wonder if he was an arrogant toerag of a bully? I just looked him up (since I rarely care anything about authors, just their works) and it's peculiar that they got married, had a kid 9 months later, then divorced 4 months later and JKR moved back to the UK. Put in horsebreeding terms (which I naturally think it), it almost sounds like she went to Portugal, got bred, and stayed there until she foaled out and the foal was old enough to travel." | ||||||
| comments: 75 delusional shippers poked or Poke a delusional shipper |
February 13th, 2011
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| Moar evil James, Love Potions and conspiracy theories. http://www.thehpn.com/index.php?opt subtle science This is really interesting and points out a lot of things about James that have really bothered me--and states them coherently, as opposed to my bothered, random thoughts. This crystallizes a lot of my misgivings about James..... First, to me--there is a tension in the novels between what JKR may have originally intended and what she eventually produced. (I've mentioned it before, I know....) James is a glaring example. In interviews, and through some of the mouthpiece characters, JKR insists James changed--and that he's a hero. But....Where is any of that actually shown in the books? His nominally heroic acts come with a considerable baggage. He saves Snape from Lupin in the Shrieking Shack: however, that's not done from any genuinely atruistic motive, or any sudden revelation as to Snape's worth as a human being. Instead, James' primary motive is to keep his friends and himself out of major trouble: to keep Lupin from being the murder weapon wielded by the ever-dim and violent Sirius. James dies, confronting Voldemort at the front door....with the niggle that James did so without his wand--the confrontation on the doorstep was the culmination of quite a few poor to downright bad decisions. And exactly zero in the books shows any change in James whatsoever. It's in the same category as JKR's insistence that Azkaban arrested Sirius' development. Er--no: Sirius demonstrated all of the negative qualities prior to prison; prison may have exacerbated them--but, as with James, there never was the slightest indication that Sirius ever would/did change from the wretched little brat seen on the Hogwarts Express. All these details of James' simply taking merely underscore the fact that his character is extremely shady in the novels--not just shadowy, but truly questionable. The end result of my mulling? I think JKR's novels would have been vastly improved had she tossed the idea of James' being a hero and gone with the bent that cannot be avoided in the books--let James have been a villain. I mean--openly. Not the tension between the creep that's shown in the books versus what JKR claims in sound bites. What is shown in the books depicts James as the parallel to Draco--the spoiled rotten, entitled, judgmental rich kid. Too bad JKR did not have (or didn't listen to) a strong-willed editor....Letting go of the idea that James had to be heroic, no matter what, would've been a huge step in making the characterization consistent. | ||||
| comments: 31 delusional shippers poked or Poke a delusional shipper |
The HMS STFU
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