Have you been wondering what pstibbons has been up to lately? More than that, have you been wondering what pstibbons might do if he ever turned his attentions to Snape? Well, wonder no more. "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Bellatrix" lacks his usual Ron torture and Hermione worship, but never fear! It includes Snape torture and angst, Marauder bashing, and incomprehensible lines such as:
"We've killed him!" yelled Remus. "By Toutatis, we've fucking killed him!" (I looked it up: Toutatis was a Celtic god worshiped in ancient Gaul and Britain. And apparently by Remus Lupin. Pstibbons is just so smart, isn't he?)
and
"She had never heard such a pot of heronistic crock in her life." (bolding mine - the "she" here refers to Lily. Why Lily would use pstibbon's made up "insult" referencing people who ship Ron and Hermione, I will never know. I didn't spot a "gorram" yet, but I'm pretty sure it's only a matter of time.)
To be fair, pstibbons warns us not to read this fic in his opening author's note:
"A/N: Fans of the Marauders should not read this. Those who believe James and Lily were fated for each other should not read this. Snape haters should not read this. Those who think Dark Magic is too serious to laugh at should not read this. Those who think that prejudice is black and white should not read this. Those who think innocents do not get killed in war should not read this. And while we're at it, decent human beings shouldn't read this either."
I'm waiting to see if somehow Hermione saves the day by killing everyone in creative anf gruesome ways in later chapters.
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