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The HMS STFU - Two Harmonian fanfics
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| You know when you're a kid (and this has probably been done in some movie some where) where the kid gets yelled at from their parent and/or doesn't get exactly what they want, and then they have this little fantasy where mommy/daddy is really sorry for hurting their feelings and then showers them with gifts or whatever it is that they want to make it up to them because they're really sorry?
That's what that interview reminded me of. | | (Reply to this) (Thread) |
| | Oh lord. Never mind that JKR said she thought the hints were anvil-sized regarding 'shipping. And she didn't argue too strongly when that interviewer said the Harry/Hermione shippers were delusional. | | (Reply to this) (Thread) |
| (Anonymous) | | Link: | (Link) | | Time: | 2009-09-03 05:48 pm (UTC) |
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| | I'm going to assume this isn't the same "Lissy" who raves on about Harry and Ginny being like Hitler and Eva Braun, or whatever else it is that she says. Doesn't seem like she could stop frothing at the mouth long enough to write a fanfic ... | | (Reply to this) (Thread) |
| raves on about Harry and Ginny being like Hitler and Eva Braun
What?
What the EVERLIVING FUCK?
How, in God's name, does she come up with that one? I'm assuming that some pretty heavy Slytherin/Death Eater apologism is going on here, but still... that's a damn long bow to draw. Or does she somehow relate Harry's preference for the pureblood Ginny over the "Mudblood" Hermione to Hitler's anti-Semitism? | | (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread) |
| Hermione came next; she is an exaggeration of myself when I was a child. Harry is also a part of me as well, so it would make sense that they would come together.
Ew, no. | | (Reply to this) (Thread) |
![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif) ikuko | | Link: | (Link) | | Time: | 2009-09-03 09:52 pm (UTC) |
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| | Really, it is so pathetic, I can not even laugh at that. Amount of butthurt transcends funny and reaches "embarrassing to look at" level. | | (Reply to this) (Thread) |
| (Anonymous) | | Link: | (Link) | | Time: | 2009-09-03 11:06 pm (UTC) |
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| | I can't believe people actually like this crap.Seriously if H/Hr had happened and somebody had written the same thing for R/Hr i'd still think it's stupid. And I would never bash characters just becuase they get in the way of my ships, that's so tacky and childish. | | (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread) |
| And Ginny! Merlin, she looks just like her mother! I mean no offense to our mother-in-law, but the Ginny I remember was so beautiful. How did this happen?
To be truthful, Harry did notice that Hermione was in great shape. She looked even better than she did during their teen years at Hogwarts. And she finally found a hairstyle and that flattered her curls, which were no longer bushy, but smooth.
And they call H/R and R/Hr shallow. | | (Reply to this) (Thread) |
| I noticed that nasty commentary on Ginny. The author didn't spare the guns for Ron, referring to fanon poor eating habits and attributing them to his son Hugo, as well.
Stay classy, Harmoanians. Nothing wins an argument like commenting on unfavorable physical traits of those you don't like. *rolls eyes*
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lakme | | Link: | (Link) | | Time: | 2009-09-10 04:29 am (UTC) |
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| | They also don't know how curls work. Speaking as someone who has thick, curly hair like Hermione. | | (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread) |
| | Oh, that interview. "Yes, you were right! About everything!" Come on. Even people who actually did guess the pairings right weren't right about everything relating to them. | | (Reply to this) (Thread) |
| "The Interview of Dreams" made my eyes glaze over - I think I'd need three or four beers and more chips & nuts than I could poke a stick at before I tackle that one.
"Once in a Lifetime" actually isn't so bad when you read it as crack - it has its funny moments, and the sad part is that it could have been done really well if not for the horrific shallowness of some of the Weasley bashing. If they'd put in some genuine effort to show how the R/Hr and H/G marriages might fall apart, it could have worked in a Book-of-Job-like way, with Harry and Hermione railing against their omniscient, distant creator.
As it is, gluglug's version of Harry needs a fucking hard slap around the head. Maybe if he's not too impressed with the fact that Ginny no longer has those firm Quidditch-player's thighs that carried her to glory with the Holyhead Harpies in her early 20s and her stomach's no longer a manlike flat board and she generally looks like her mother did when Harry first met her, he should bear in mind that said mother-in-law's preferred bedtime sweet-talk directly references her own corpulence ("Mollywobbles"), and get over it. | | (Reply to this) (Thread) |
| (Anonymous) | | Link: | (Link) | | Time: | 2009-09-07 06:50 am (UTC) |
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| It seems completely plausible to me that when/if Mr. Weasley gets schnockered enough with his mates down at the pub (or out in the shop) to rate women, he insists blearily that a proper lay has something to hold on to, har har.
I have also read firsthand accounts by men who find their wives' maternal bodies extremely sexy because they know exactly how they got that way. | | (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread) |
| Heeeee. That's just so cute. It's like the typist of the "interview" is doing the written version of standing in the corner, fingers in ears, singing "lalala lalala I can't hear you I'm not listening lalala lalala alchemy alchemy lalala lalala".
As for that fic. *snorts*
Whatever makes them happy, I suppose. | | (Reply to this) (Thread) |
| Many readers interpreted [Ron and Hermione's] tension as sexual once they hit puberty but I was also careful to leave enough ambiguity that their tension could be explained away by sibling like rivalry as well as competing for Harry's attention.
So bizarro!Jo ships Harry/Ron, then? | | (Reply to this) (Thread) |
| This is dedicated to them and many others who tirelessly research theories, argue and defend our favorite ship.
I'm not sure what they mean by "defending their ship". They talk about fighting for their ship and being defeated as though their skills in debating had some effect on the outcome.
They don't actually believe that do they? | | (Reply to this) (Thread) |
| They don't actually believe that do they?
I really think they do. Let me 'splain.
They really seem to believe that JKR had been writing H/Hr all along - i.e. they were not wrong in all the "evidence" they saw - she really was writing the Harmony opus they thought she was. BUT, she did not realize what she was writing in books 1-5 and when she finally figured it out she had to "fix" it so it would meet her originally planned pairing. [Alternately, things could have gone either way until Book 5 - after that she was pressured by OBHWF fans (the wrong, shallow fans) to go with the Weasley ships.]
So, she had to change everything in HBP, especially Hermione's character because there is no way the super!Hermione who existed in books 1-5 (henceforth known as Hermione Jane) would ever fall in love with Ron - who, BTW, is a fine person with many fine qualities but who is too immature, stupid, poor, and just generally gross for Hermione Jane. He'd be just perfect for Luna. The creature that exists in books 6-7 (Hermione Jean) is a shell of her former self and deserves the lifetime of abuse ahead of her with Ron.
Now, IF Harmonians had been better at "defending their ship", though their effort was valiant, they should have been able to convince the Queen Heron herself to abandon her OBHWF plan and embrace the Harmony that she had inadvertantly "wandered" into. They should ahve been able to convince all the unwashed Heathens of the truth of Harmony and there would have been no way Queen Heron could have gone with OBHWF or there would have been mass uprisings and open revolution.
So yeah, they fought the good fight, but in the end, JK Rowling was just too crappy a writer to realize that she was writing something completely different than what she thought she was writing - and once she figured it out (or, more likely, had it pointed out to her by some sharp-eyed Harmonian) she spitefully squashed Hermione Jane in order to achieve her originally planned - though grossly inferior and completely irrational and unrealistic - OBWF ending.
Thank you - today's class in Harmonian Psychology 101 is now dismissed. | | (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread) |
| (Anonymous) | | Link: | (Link) | | Time: | 2009-09-04 10:59 am (UTC) |
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| Something that gets to me in Harmonian fics is how Harry and Hermione always maintain their looks, and in some cases improve them. Meanwhile, Ron and Ginny morph into Arthur and Molly. And then Harry and Hermione will look at their spouses, say, "ew, gross!" and start shagging each other. And Harmonians claim theirs is the most intelligent ship.
I do love in the second fic how Harry and Hermione turn up at Rowling's home, tells some poor maid their names, and get invited in. It's JK Rowling. She probably has fifty of those turn up every week. | | (Reply to this) (Thread) |
| *sigh* Aren't the Harmonian's also the ones who claim their ship (hahaha - my typo truly said "shit") is the more moral one - based on friendship and pure love (and alchemy naturally) and not dirty ikky lust etc?
How on earth does that tie in with Ginny's going to be a fat cow, so he should hook up with Hermoine? | | (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread) |
| This may be the best part: One of the reviews for "The Interview of Dreams" was from a person named Rob13. He wrote the following:
"wait did this interview really happen, n if so why didnt Harry hook up wit Hermione in DH?"
Once again, Harmonians demonstrate their unrivaled reading comprhension skills. Just sit back and bask in the glow of "the smart ship".
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| Another example of Evil!Weasleys fic: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4173717/1/Erasing_History
From Chapter 2: "It's not what I want, Potter, but what my sister wants. You see, when you married Hermione, Ginny was terribly jealous, she wanted you as her husband. So, she and I hatched this plan. If your family was killed, then she could comfort you and worm her way into your heart and eventually be your wife. Hermione was supposed to be mine too but you ruined that for me. I'm sad she had to die but I'm not about to have your leftovers as it were. So the deal is this: You agree to marry Ginny and you can have your children back. Ginny always wanted children and she doesn't particularly care that they're Hermione's either. An adoption potion can take care of that." | | (Reply to this) (Thread) |
| Author J.K. Rowling surprised millions of Harry Potter readers with the release of Deathly Hallows on July 21st. Arguably not because of who died, or how Harry defeated Lord Voldemort, but with whom Harry fell in love in the end.
Okay, that pretty much admits what we've been saying all along: that they care more about shipping than Voldemort. | | (Reply to this) (Thread) |
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The HMS STFU - Two Harmonian fanfics
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