“And all this because you thought you had to become some great wizard, to- what, win my heart? That’s dumb, Sev. And don’t even get me started on the asinine way you tried to go about it,” Lily added. “Don’t you know me at all?”
“But, Potter-” Severus began.
“I swear to God, Sev, if you mention Potter one more time, I’m going to pull out your spleen and make you wear it as a hat,” Lily said, eyeing him critically.
You've definitely captured Lily! :P
The only thing that makes me twitch is that last line, and that's mainly because Cassandra Claire stole that Buffy quote about wearing a ribcage as a hat and put it in Draco's mouth.