TWoP Criticism and Commentary's Journal
[Most Recent Entries]
[Calendar View]
[Friends View]
Tuesday, August 9th, 2005
| Time |
Event |
| 8:42a |
Do People Actually Write These? From a Vine posted a couple of days ago: ---------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- O mighty Sars,
I write not with a question, exactly, but with an observation relating to advice you've given, and I'd like your take on it.
Reading through the Vine archives ('cause there's no better way to waste time at work), I see a lot of people asking what to do about an unpleasant friend, roommate, or relative. A lot of your answers rightly suggest firm, polite confrontation.
These answers are usually so obvious that I find myself wondering, what's so difficult? If your upstairs neighbor is having exceedingly loud sex all the time, go ask her to please keep it down. It's not that complicated.
What I realized is that most people are deathly afraid of making enemies. Avoiding even the possibility of a situation where you might encounter someone who doesn't like you is a huge, subconscious priority. It goes double for people afraid to confront their close friends about bad behavior; you don't need to read Shakespearean tragedy to know that best friends can become the worst enemies.
This is a common thread that runs through a vast number of the emails on The Vine, and I wondered whether the same thought had occurred to you.
Best, My Wife Is A Sociologist
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- Dear Soc,
Yes, I would say that people are deathly afraid of other people disliking them, even temporarily, even in a situation after which they'll never see the other party again. And yes, it had occurred to me. I've done the column for five years; certain patterns do emerge.
Patterns like...people not really having an actual question. Heh.
I just don't see the point of a) writing in to an advice column to point out that people tend to ask for the same advice over and over again, and b) publishing the letter to point this out. |
|