I think this is a perfect example of why the tone argument is necessary. He's using how they said it to completely dismiss what they said, and everyone who is agreeing with them less viciously.

In cases like this, it's not about the privileged person's hurt feelings, and bringing them up over and over is even more privilege. It dismisses the hurt feelings of the oppressed group, as well as shuts down the argument, and puts the oppressed group in the position of being expected to apologize for being upset.