It's applying the same standards of regular privilege to rape. Like I'm white in a bigoted culture, so I've done/am going to do bigoted things, without realizing, and I have to own what I did/will do, and am constantly going to try to fix things. But there's a huge difference between the normal shit you do because society sucks, and a sociopathic disregard for others. (And from the sound of it, a sadistic glee in hurting them.) You can't fix the two things with the same response.