Or realise it, but still be trying to rationalise it away.

I've seen people mention that he might not have been wanting to think of Kynn as a rapist, because she was his girlfriend, but also... maybe he didn't want to think of himself as a rape victim? (Especially if he was already a survivor, the sense of "not again...")

If you say to yourself "I was raped", you have to come to the terms with the fact that happened - someone did that to you and you couldn't stop it. If you can say to yourself "Well, it shouldn't have happened, but it was just bad sex..." then that has a very different effect, different headspace.