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w**k is a four-letter word (![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} esorlehcar) wrote in ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/community.gif){kind=small} unfunny_fandom, |
rageful tl;dr
The more I think about the "I believe Jack is a rape victim, but that doesn't make Kynn a rapist" narrative, the more pissed off I get. It's just so mealy mouthed and... cowardly, is the best word I can think of.
Let's say, for the sake of argument, that Kynn's intentions were 1,000% pure. She honestly thought Jack saying no was part of the scene, that Jack had implicitly consented to everything she did by not using a safe word or whatever, and the encounter was consensual and mutually enjoyable. Even if that's exactly the way it went down (which after reading those chat logs and that travesty of "Can't we talk about my trauma, being accused of rape by mean liars?" post, I sincerely fucking doubt, but again, for the sake of argument), THAT MAKES KYNN A RAPIST.
"Jack was raped by Kynn, but it's not fair to say Kynn raped Jack!" isn't just ridiculous, it's fucking offensive, especially coming from people who speak out about rape culture and know exactly how much they're perpetuating and spreading it by pretending rape is passive act that just "happens" to people without a perpetrator involved.
If Jack was raped by Kynn, then Kynn raped Jack. Even if she honestly had no idea she was forcing herself on him without his consent, she raped him, because it sure as hell isn't the assailant who gets to decide whether a sexual encounter is voluntary. And trying to remove Kynn from the picture is as good as saying, "Jack got himself raped." Remove the perpetrator, and all you have left is blaming the victim, no matter how much you try to dance around it.
I'm guessing the whole "Jack was raped, but Kynn's not a rapist" thing is meant to suggest that she's not a terrible person, that misunderstanding consent (a stretch, but whatever) doesn't mean she's never done anything good in her life or ever will again, and that may well all be true. But none of it means she isn't, or can't be, a rapist.
If Kynn isn't a rapist, that means she didn't rape anyone, and that means Jack wasn't raped. If you don't believe Kynn is a rapist, you believe Jack is a liar (or, if you want to be really charitable, just confused about the fact the sex he didn't want was actually consensual). It's really not difficult. And fucking EVERYONE trying to weasel their way out of condemning a friend's behavior is plenty smart enough to know that, which just makes the whole thing that much grosser.
The more I think about the "I believe Jack is a rape victim, but that doesn't make Kynn a rapist" narrative, the more pissed off I get. It's just so mealy mouthed and... cowardly, is the best word I can think of.
Let's say, for the sake of argument, that Kynn's intentions were 1,000% pure. She honestly thought Jack saying no was part of the scene, that Jack had implicitly consented to everything she did by not using a safe word or whatever, and the encounter was consensual and mutually enjoyable. Even if that's exactly the way it went down (which after reading those chat logs and that travesty of "Can't we talk about my trauma, being accused of rape by mean liars?" post, I sincerely fucking doubt, but again, for the sake of argument), THAT MAKES KYNN A RAPIST.
"Jack was raped by Kynn, but it's not fair to say Kynn raped Jack!" isn't just ridiculous, it's fucking offensive, especially coming from people who speak out about rape culture and know exactly how much they're perpetuating and spreading it by pretending rape is passive act that just "happens" to people without a perpetrator involved.
If Jack was raped by Kynn, then Kynn raped Jack. Even if she honestly had no idea she was forcing herself on him without his consent, she raped him, because it sure as hell isn't the assailant who gets to decide whether a sexual encounter is voluntary. And trying to remove Kynn from the picture is as good as saying, "Jack got himself raped." Remove the perpetrator, and all you have left is blaming the victim, no matter how much you try to dance around it.
I'm guessing the whole "Jack was raped, but Kynn's not a rapist" thing is meant to suggest that she's not a terrible person, that misunderstanding consent (a stretch, but whatever) doesn't mean she's never done anything good in her life or ever will again, and that may well all be true. But none of it means she isn't, or can't be, a rapist.
If Kynn isn't a rapist, that means she didn't rape anyone, and that means Jack wasn't raped. If you don't believe Kynn is a rapist, you believe Jack is a liar (or, if you want to be really charitable, just confused about the fact the sex he didn't want was actually consensual). It's really not difficult. And fucking EVERYONE trying to weasel their way out of condemning a friend's behavior is plenty smart enough to know that, which just makes the whole thing that much grosser.
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