Entry tags:

hide our sins, it's different if it's my friend, misconceptions about feminism, rape culture, schedule your rape accusations, sj means never having to say you're sry, social justice, transfail

Heartbreak & Heroines
Kynn created a RPG called Heartbreak & Heroines, and used Kickstarter to get $3000 in funding in 48 hours. Over on LJ, Jack posted his response to his ex's success, in two minds because he's glad someone he knows did something cool, Kynn raped him. A couple days later, alexandraerin posts as well, expressing dismay at Kynn's behavior.

Jack posts Tweets from Kynn and later, emails,. At some point, the Kickstart for the RPG is canceled.

Some responses are laudable. Others, not so much.

ETA: Kynn tried to get a new name on RPG post-ban.

ETA2: Elf has a post about it.

ETA3: Kynn denies the rape happened.

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lied_ohne_worte
2011-08-01 08:56 am UTC (link)

I have no idea who that person is, but...

it's possible that Kynn didn't hear the safeword

Now, I know very little about BDSM other than from a few fics, but isn't it the responsibility of the dominant person to make sure they hear it when spoken, or to arrange some other kind of signal if the person being dominated can't speak? I mean, otherwise it would be quite useless, and the result could be something like "Oops, you didn't want that? Hm, I see how being gagged would have made it difficult to use the safe word, but oh well, I didn't hear it, so I was allowed to do anything I wanted".

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jackandahat
2011-08-01 11:41 am UTC (link)

Yep. That would be the point of non-verbal safewords. You want to gag someone? Cool - but give them a bunch of keys to drop or a bell to rattle. There are plenty of "safewords" you can use, and you tailor them to your personal situation and scene.

(I'm speaking as an occasional dom and hard-of-hearing person. It's something I've put a lot of thought into because I'm at a slight disadvantage to most folk when it comes to hearing safewords. So we work around that.)

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ekaterinv
2011-08-01 12:37 pm UTC (link)

isn't it the responsibility of the dominant person to make sure they hear it when spoken, or to arrange some other kind of signal if the person being dominated can't speak

Yes. And to check in with the submissive to make sure everything's all right. And to be very, very aware of everything that's going on.

I'm a sub and I'm fucking tired of rapists and rape-cheerleaders claiming that consent can possibly be murky in a non-abusive BDSM relationship. It can't. It's much clearer than it is in most vanilla relationships, in fact.

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