Entry tags:

hide our sins, it's different if it's my friend, misconceptions about feminism, rape culture, schedule your rape accusations, sj means never having to say you're sry, social justice, transfail

Heartbreak & Heroines
Kynn created a RPG called Heartbreak & Heroines, and used Kickstarter to get $3000 in funding in 48 hours. Over on LJ, Jack posted his response to his ex's success, in two minds because he's glad someone he knows did something cool, Kynn raped him. A couple days later, alexandraerin posts as well, expressing dismay at Kynn's behavior.

Jack posts Tweets from Kynn and later, emails,. At some point, the Kickstart for the RPG is canceled.

Some responses are laudable. Others, not so much.

ETA: Kynn tried to get a new name on RPG post-ban.

ETA2: Elf has a post about it.

ETA3: Kynn denies the rape happened.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	cmdr_zoom 2011-08-01 07:16 pm UTC (link)
	I confess, I would wonder why else they would have a safeword. Terribly plain in hindsight, of course: for one party to ignore when the other tries to invoke it. :( (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	jackandahat 2011-08-01 07:20 pm UTC (link)
	Alexandra said - I think in Shetterly's post - that it was an attempt to negotiate boundaries. Which, yeah. An advantage to kink is there's more structure for negotiating than in vanilla, it's more expected, but that only works if the person you're "negotiating" with is a decent human being. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	cmdr_zoom 2011-08-01 09:57 pm UTC (link)
	yeah, this is one of those cases where I trip over my usual assumption that both parties are sane, decent people. :( (Reply to this)(Parent)

menthodelic
2011-08-01 08:10 pm UTC (link)

My partner and I did use a safeword for a while in non-kink situations after I was assaulted. I'm someone who says "no" to mean "not there" or "that's too hard" or "I don't want to do that; I want to do this instead", and we were both worried that "No, this is triggering me" might get confused with all of that. Hence, the safeword.

Before that though, I had only associated them with D/s situations.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

ickle_snowflake
2011-08-01 08:36 pm UTC (link)

My current partner and I have a safe word for reasons similar to menthodelic's. In the past, in an abusive relationship, I've tried to set one up because he would make excuses for ignoring "no" and "don't", saying things like "how do I know you're not going to follow it with 'don't stop'?" and basically trying to make me feel like it was my fault for being unclear. He couldn't do that with a random word like "raspberry" or "teapot".

(Reply to this)(Parent)

	napalmnacey 2011-08-02 06:09 pm UTC (link)
	Well, I have a chronic pain condition that sex exacerbates, so my dude and I have a safe word so that he knows I'm in actual pain. (Reply to this)(Parent)

(Read comments) -