Actually, Kari Sperring/la_marquise_de was the one person I felt came off well in this whole situation. Both on Valente's lj and on mervenn's, she presented her points, responded without ever attacking anyone, and was just all around really low-key and rational. Even when Valente went full blown "omg how dare you tell me about your recent suicide attempt, I felt bad tooooo" (and her claim that she couldn't blog for days after their intial exchange is just plain not true--she posted all over the place during that time), la_marquise_de didn't go off the rails. If anything, she's almost *too* calm and kind about it all.