Fail! Fail everywhere!
Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez, the author of The Dirty Girls Social Club, discusses how Hollywood turned her Afro-Colombian-American character, a straight-laced and squeaky-clean monogamous lesbian, into a sexed-up cheating bisexual with no noticeable African ancestry. (Her Birkenstocky partner? Nowhere to be seen.) Why?

“We had to make her bisexual because the lesbian story line isn’t fresh anymore,” Lynnette told me. (By that standard, we ought to make all straight characters bisexual too, no?) “And, let’s face it,” she said snarkily, “no one trusts a bisexual.”

Wowwww.

In fact, EVERYBODY in the adaptation has been seriously sexed up regardless of the characters' actual, you know, personalities and beliefs and book-verse behavior. (Except for the overweight character, of course, when she acts sexual it's just a fat joke.) And the diversity of the Hispanic population has been completely bled out of the script.

ETA: The fail is coming from all directions! The author's stance on some of this is pretty slut-shaming, and then there's this, where she comes out as bisexual in an email interview with AfterEllen. And then gets offended when mentioned as bi on her Wikipedia page and retracts it, claiming to identify as straight. (Then there's a weird blog post she made entitled Under Attack By Lesbians, claiming that she only tried to retract her comments because hard-right Cuban exiles were making attempts on her life. But she baleeted it and it's probably lost to us now.) Is she bi? Straight? Questioning? Who knows?

She also did the same thing again, claiming to have bipolar disorder after David Foster Wallace's suicide and then retracting it. The David Shankbone from the AfterEllen interview calls her on her bullshit, to which she, well:

Alisa took such exception to these statements, that in response she wrote this about me (as if I wrote it myself):

You are a tremendous fucking bitch, and I suck donkey dicks with communist straws. I was hired by the Cuban government to “fix” your wiki page, but they asked that I never tell you this. Oopsies! I have to remember not to promise Fidel anything when I’m high on peyote. My bad.

Strange times on Wikipedia, indeed.

I have no idea what's going on anymore. *makes popcorn*

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	ekaterinv 2010-12-29 03:48 am UTC (link)
	no one trusts a bisexual Hi, I'm no one. Shall we have a running tally of how many "no ones" are here? (Reply to this)(Thread)

	keri 2010-12-29 04:28 am UTC (link)
	I dunno. We all know bisexuals don't actually exist, and how can you trust something that doesn't exist? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

spacelogic
2010-12-29 04:49 am UTC (link)

Okay, hold on, so I've got:

1) No one trusts a bisexual.
2) Therefore, people who trust bisexuals are nonexistent.
3) However, bisexuals are also nonexistent, so the reason the trusting people don't exist doesn't exist either.

Does this mean that people who trust bisexuals are doubly nonexistent (because not only do they not exist, but the cause of their nonexistence doesn't either) or that they exist after all because there's no reason for them not to? What about bisexuals who trust themselves/other bisexuals? Who's on first?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	keri 2010-12-29 04:53 am UTC (link)
	Aw, crap, this is complicated. Doubly so since I'm asexual, so I don't really exist either (or if I do exist, it's because I'm crazy and not hooked up to reality). If I'm gonna think about this, it's probably time for some booze. what booze goes good with earl grey tea? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

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spacelogic, 2010-12-29 05:03 am UTC

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ekaterinv, 2010-12-29 05:42 am UTC

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poisonyoulove, 2010-12-29 06:56 am UTC

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ahiru, 2010-12-31 01:46 am UTC

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ruslan, 2010-12-29 06:58 am UTC

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komorebi, 2010-12-30 06:05 am UTC

athersgeo
2010-12-30 10:15 am UTC (link)

Well...in digital logic, two "nots" cancel one another out. So I'd imagine that two "not exists" should lead to one "exists".

So a bisexual girl gamer would exist, but a bisexual English major girl gamer would be back to being non-existent.

Not sure where that leaves people who trust bisexuals, though, because that's two "not exists" but on two separate circuits...

I either need vastly more coffee, or need to lay off the caffeine.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

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spacelogic, 2010-12-30 10:24 am UTC

	ahiru 2010-12-31 01:45 am UTC (link)
	So if a bisexual says that we shouldn't trust bisexuals, since they themselves are bisexual then therefore we can't trust them saying not to trust bisexuals, so then does that mean we can trust bisexuals? This is all very challenging. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	deadrose 2010-12-29 04:51 am UTC (link)
	Hi! No one here! I'm also married to No one. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	deadrose 2010-12-29 04:56 am UTC (link)
	Or is it just that I, my spouse, and my daughter don't exist? Interesting conundrum, especially to my other 2 kids who aren't bi. Do they not exist because they're related to me and trust me, or do they exist because they're not bi (one straight, one gay TYVM), or do they not exist because I don't exist and therefore couldn't have given birth to them? The mind boggles! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	fools_game 2010-12-29 05:28 am UTC (link)
	English majors! Girl gamers! Uh... I know there are more. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	persona 2010-12-29 05:35 am UTC (link)
	Ampersands. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	ekaterinv 2010-12-29 05:37 am UTC (link)
	Purple. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	moonjaguar 2010-12-29 07:52 pm UTC (link)
	Colour spelled with a U. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	emily_goddess 2010-12-29 10:51 pm UTC (link)
	Asexuals. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	yattara 2010-12-29 11:55 am UTC (link)
	No one here, yo. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	moonjaguar 2010-12-29 07:50 pm UTC (link)
	Hi, I'm no one too! I'm also no such thing (a female baritone). (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	deadrose 2010-12-30 04:35 am UTC (link)
	Cheers, mate! (female tenor) (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	re_weird 2010-12-30 07:21 am UTC (link)
	Hello, fellow female tenor! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

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fern_on_fen, 2010-12-31 08:34 pm UTC

	snarkhunter 2010-12-29 08:27 pm UTC (link)
	I’m Nobody! Who are you? Are you--Nobody--Too? Then there’s a pair of us! Don't tell! they'd advertise—you know! How dreary--to be somebody! How public--like a Frog-- To tell your name--the livelong June-- To an admiring Bog! I was an English major, too. So a non-existent nobody, here. (Reply to this)(Parent)

charamei
2010-12-29 10:07 pm UTC (link)

I dunno. The only bisexual that (I know that) I know isn't very reliable. I'd trust her to not steal my stuff, but not to turn up on time to a meeting...

Am I half a nobody? Half a somebody? Is there a sliding scale of nobodyness? Can we get some maths over here...?

...ah, screw it. I'm an asexual girl gamer who likes purple and spells colour with a U. I don't exist anyway.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

	roachspit 2010-12-30 01:25 am UTC (link)
	Bisexual girl gamer English major. I do not exist X 3. Awesome. Oh, wait. I like purple. I don't exist on, er, 3.5 levels. :-P (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	undomielregina 2010-12-30 07:56 am UTC (link)
	I'm also guilty of nonexistence on counts one through three. Lucky us. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	roachspit 2010-12-31 03:48 am UTC (link)
	We should start a club. We can have an invisible purple unicorn for our mascot. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

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ekaterinv, 2010-12-31 10:44 am UTC

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roachspit, 2011-01-03 07:44 pm UTC

	kittikattie 2011-01-03 10:10 pm UTC (link)
	Bisexual former English Major girl gamer who is also a black sci-fi/fantasy writer, liked Deathly Hallows, and can wear my hair in ringlets without weave. Also, I have big boobs and am a feminist at the same time. I am a walking 404 error. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	felinephoenix 2010-12-30 08:56 am UTC (link)
	I like not existing. It gives me more excuses to sit around the house and be lazy. By which I mean "play video games". I can't, though, 'cause then I would double not exist. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ekaterinv 2010-12-30 10:23 am UTC (link)
	Wouldn't that mean you can play video games even more? Because you must not be playing video games, you must be doing something else. Except not, because you already don't exist. I'd say that's just double the excuse for laziness! Personally, I am busy not playing Civilization 5 right this moment. I'm actually doing something constructive, like sleeping. (Reply to this)(Parent)

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