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Sep (lord of all I survey) ([info]sepiamagpie) wrote in [info]unfunny_fandom,
@ 2011-01-01 21:21:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Twitter rant: Read bottom to top
To begin with, a sock twitter account for Laura Ingalls Wilder (the writer of the Little House On The Prairie books) was giving out the tweets of her family for New Year's.

Here's the one for her Ma:

HalfPintIngalls Laura Ingalls Wilder:

Ma's resolutions: knit more; be less racist.

Well... anyway, a nineteen tweet rant from another user followed. It's sort of epic.


troposphere
troposphr troposphere
:



@HalfPintIngalls @sippey 'Be less racist'? That's what I call a cheap, defamatory shot. I read those books 100s of times, and

the only racism one can take away is whatever pre-existed in your own racist, bigoted head,

wherein you ascribe to an individual you've never met character traits based on nothing other than their skin color.

'Ma resolves to be less racist.' HAHAHA, that's teh funny.

If you'd actually read the books you would know that a black doctor treated them when they were all sick; that they

had never seen a black person before. You're incapable of reading any text & not injecting your defamatory illogic

whether or not the text in any way supports it. Bcs you were never college-educated, only college-indoctrinated

and taught to label all whites as racist and evil, and that the Indians/'First Nations'/Native Americans never went

around scalping one another, because you were brainwashed into believing any person of color is morally superior

You know who needs to make a new years resolution to be less racist? YOU do.

You don't understand, and therefore mock, people who actually apprehend God (the REAL God, not your crappy morally

relativistic 1, which you actually created in YOUR own image, whether they lived a century or two ago, a millennia

or 2 or 4 ago, or are one of your own contemporaries. In this regard you are hopelessly ignorant and blind; having

no idea of why you are even here in the first place. Blind, misled, and believing only in your psychobabble B.S.

What else have you been "taught"? To smear & denigrate the WASP pioneers/founders who made this country

the greatest nation in the history of mankind -- actually, they were only instruments of GOD, which you do not &

will never comprehend, because you don't know God and in fact have been taught to be actively hostile towards Him.

People like you, who have no comprehension of the what or why of the most basic principles of what this country is

about are simply tools, useful idiots, in the hands of those who seek to destroy America -- the REAL America, not

the bastardized, self-hating, self-loathing, apologetic, Marxist/Fascist false Obamatopia you seek to compel your

fellow citizens into climbing aboard that space-shuttle-disaster-in-the-making piece of crap Marxist state where

you believe there will be no more HAHA-Racist-HAHA Ma's -- only sub-human fascist slave-drones like yourselves.



(please note, the reason that it's formatted like this is because it was a series of nineteen tweets, which can only be 140 characters in length and each time they had to include the name of the people they were addressing)

And what does our dear Laura Ingalls Wilder have to say?

Laura Ingalls Wilder
HalfPintIngalls Laura Ingalls Wilder
:


@troposphr You really ought to have Dr. Tann look at that muskrat bite because you're foaming at the mouth.

And that's that.

I think it's hilarious, in the same way I think watching my cat totally lose it on a paper crane is hilarious, but the topic of racism and racism in the Little House books as potential for discussion is definitely unfunny, so I put it here.


(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]sepiamagpie
2011-01-02 04:59 am UTC (link)
WELL.

Anne does shit like break a slate over the head of a boy who mocks her hair, declares lifelong vendetta, excels at school to beat his ass, declares her love repeatedly for her female friend, makes up fantasy stories for everywhere she goes, becomes a teacher, and tries not to hate someone who she ends up going 'oh fuck it, she's a total twerp'.

Plus a lot of other things. The first book is very very episodic.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]tomato_ja_nai
2011-01-02 05:02 am UTC (link)
...

WELL LOOKS LIKE I'M RAIDING MUM'S BOOKSHELF NEXT I'M HOME, THEN.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]sepiamagpie
2011-01-02 05:03 am UTC (link)
:D!

I got it off Gutenberg.org, for my shiny shiny ereader. That little device has really helped me improve my reading.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]tomato_ja_nai
2011-01-02 05:07 am UTC (link)
I want a reader, but alas, it just seems to keep getting prioritized after other shiny electronics...

Although on the other hand, one can't fling a nook or an ipad at one's father when he makes terrible terrible puns, so there's that.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]sepiamagpie
2011-01-02 05:09 am UTC (link)
And they're terrible for sudden spider attacks.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]tomato_ja_nai
2011-01-02 05:11 am UTC (link)
Not to mention they're rubbish in making scenery for one's Nendroids to play on--I. Mean. For height differences in still lifes! Yes!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]sepiamagpie
2011-01-02 05:15 am UTC (link)
But damn it's nice to have a library on hand. And no one needs to know it's imagining Bella as Lex Luthor while reading Twilight* that's making me laugh.

*I'm reading it to make a list of good points to annoy a friend. But it made the barista at Starbucks I talk to really excited, so now I'm doing it to discuss it with her too.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]tomato_ja_nai
2011-01-02 05:17 am UTC (link)
...That caused as much as 10 minutes of laughter, and that's terrible.

actually I think I kind of both love you and hate you for that, I will never be able to unsee it.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]sepiamagpie
2011-01-02 05:27 am UTC (link)
I just thought that'd be an interesting route to go after she discovers Edward has powers. Their conversation went like this:

Her: YOU HAVE SUPERPOWERS
Edward: What. What!
Her: YOU HAVE SUPERPOWERS
Edward: that is preposterous why would you ever think that
Her: FUCK YOU YOU HAVE SUPERPOWERS
Edward: look i have to go

And I figured the next best response she could give was to become a supervillain and like, capture him for study. Or dig a pit or something. And go bald or something.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]tomato_ja_nai
2011-01-02 05:32 am UTC (link)
No, no, clearly she captures him and locks him in a white tower to keep his sparkles powers all to herself, until he sneaks out eighteen years later with a hot bandit--

Wait, that's tangled, not marvel, isn't it.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]sepiamagpie
2011-01-02 05:35 am UTC (link)
Marvel would be Green Goblin Bella, constantly tormenting Edward, throwing bombs at him, and then flinging his girlfriend off a bridge. Or Kingpin Bella, running a massive criminal organization and knowing all of Edward's secrets to blackmail him into what she wants.

Actually, Kingpin Bella would be an interesting twist.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]tomato_ja_nai
2011-01-02 05:38 am UTC (link)
...Well, given Edward's emotional blackmail in vanilla Twilight, that...

Is actually seeming like a very interesting push and pull of power, that relationship. /smacks plotbunnies aghhh

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]sepiamagpie
2011-01-02 05:39 am UTC (link)
Ten years after Forks, Isabella Swan is the unofficial ruler of New York...

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]tomato_ja_nai
2011-01-02 06:06 am UTC (link)
...Why do you do this to me. ;w;

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]sepiamagpie
2011-01-02 06:06 am UTC (link)
A man has hobbies.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]tomato_ja_nai
2011-01-02 06:07 am UTC (link)
/sob

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]tehrin
2011-01-02 12:29 pm UTC (link)
I am picturing a Nolanverse Twilight.

I hate you.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]cleolinda
2011-01-02 05:58 pm UTC (link)
This is why you are my favorite.

I love how IN THE BOOK she's even like, "I kind of thought you might be, like, Bruce Wayne or Spider-Man or something." Later in the series, maybe young Seth the bromance werewolf can be Robin. Aro is obvs Lex Luthor. THE SPARKLE KNIGHT.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]sepiamagpie
2011-01-02 06:28 pm UTC (link)
I haven't met Seth yet. Now I have high hopes for his robinitude.

It would work so much better if Edward could turn into a bat like a normal vampire.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]librarianmouse
2011-01-02 07:11 pm UTC (link)
Seth is my favorite. He's like a puppy. He's excited about everything, likes everybody, and follows Edward around just waiting for what he'll do next.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]felinephoenix
2011-01-02 07:57 pm UTC (link)
Wait a minute. If Seth is Robin, wouldn't that mean Jacob has to be Batman? Not that I'm complaining, mind you.

(And I guess Renessfuckinghowdoyouspellit can be his Carrie Kelly. I'd rather not think about that, though.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]bienegold
2011-01-02 08:16 pm UTC (link)
Oh god. D:

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]felinephoenix
2011-01-02 09:16 pm UTC (link)
I know. D:

But, see, in my head it's okay because I choose to believe Reneesfuckit grows up to become a vampire slayer! And instead of her Creepy Boyfriend, Jacob is her Giles.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


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