It's even more depressing when not getting why it's a big deal comes from friends and people you think are feminists/feminists allies. I've had a friend say to me in all seriousness that the real problem is that one side "doesn't get the joke" and the other side are going too far mocking them for not getting the joke. No, the real problem here is that misogynists and rape apologists are running rampant, and they're supposed to be part of a group that says they want to make everyone feel safe and welcome.