Hate crime = "Hijinks"
Presumptive Republican presidential nominee Willard "Mitt" Romney has faux-pologized (sorta-kinda) for assaulting one of his prep school classmates in the 60s. The classmate in question, John Lauber, was assumed to be gay and was targeted for having "long" hair that he'd dyed blond. Romney, then 18 (?) gathered a group of friends, held Lauber down, and cut off his hair.

The apology:


"I don't remember that incident," he said. "And I'll tell you I certainly don't believe that I ... thought the fellow was homosexual. That was the furthest thing from our minds back in the 1960s, so that was not the case."

But he acknowledged playing pranks and teasing other students, and apologized for those that went "too far" -- while noting he is "a very different person" now.

"Back in high school, you know, I did some dumb things and if anybody was hurt by that or offended, obviously I apologize," Romney said.

"For me, it's about 48 years ago, so, again, if there's anything I said that's offensive to someone I certainly am sorry about that, very deeply sorry about that. But there was no harm intended."

Romney apologizes for high school 'pranks,' says doesn't recall hair-cutting incident

He doesn't remember it, but is sure it wasn't homophobic, and is sorry if you took his youthful "hijinks" the wrong way.

I can't wait to see what Gail Collins makes of this.