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Romana ([info]romana03) wrote in [info]unfunnybusiness,
@ 2012-08-20 20:23:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:Gobsmacked

Bob Ellis is Not Sexist.
A while ago now, Bob Ellis wrote a... thing... about how women "are tough enough for service on any battlefront but not tough enough to be peeked at in the shower'. He went on to compare the filming and transmission of a female cadet having sex to things that happen in M.A.S.H. and Sex and the City and yadda yadda, totally the same thing. Uh huh. This is in response to the 'Skype Scandal' that led to the revelations that exposed the culture of abuse within the Australian Defence Force Academy that had been ongoing for decades.

I don't quite even know what he's trying to say here. Why are deeds long common at office Christmas parties used by women to ruin good men's careers? Rape's ok, and only ruins left-wingers and that actually it should be fine regardless of your politics? I've got nothing. As he says "has wowser-feminism gone too far?" I... I really don't know. He says "I do not mean in this piece to defend pederasts" but you could have fooled me. "Strauss-Kahn and Mark McInnes [...] for unconsensual groping, are ruined for what, in my day, occurred in drive-in theatres every night." Yeah, it used to be ok makes everything right.

But, you know, He isn't sexist.

This little gem explains all the ways in which his non-sexist-ness has been expressed over the years:

What I Know About Women by Bob Ellis "Writer, married, 70".

Some highlights:

"a tremendous con job has been done to women; this spin that says women have sex in order to have orgasm. In fact, women have sex in order to have babies."

All of them, always, forever. We only ever have sex to have babies. Got that, you lot? Babies.

"Women have also been made to be confused by the merchants of glad; clothing and so on, and this foolish notion they can have it all."

Wait, what? Clothes are somehow a bonus?

"My wife Anne is wonderful and is on my side when I've been accused of being sexist. I hate it - I wouldn't mind if it was in some part true, but it's not."

Does she have clothes, I wonder?

"If it were so, I wouldn't be able to write women as characters in dialogue as well as I do."

I dread to think, frankly.

And there we have it. Totally not sexist.

I'm not convinced, are you?

One comment scraped in before the comments got closed. I can't say I'm really surprised.



(Post a new comment)


[info]lil_miss_stfu
2012-08-20 12:52 pm UTC (link)
Don't know Bob Ellis from Adam, but he's a real piece of work.

Work? I mean shit. He's a real piece of shit.

(Reply to this)


[info]mirhanda
2012-08-20 03:29 pm UTC (link)
What did I just read?!?

(Reply to this)


[info]napalmnacey
2012-08-20 03:36 pm UTC (link)
I don't know why wheezing old farts like him are given the time of day to say shit in this country (Australia). Makes me hate humanity.

Get the fuck off your lawn and let me have it, you old shit. You don't deserve it.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]staroverthebay
2012-08-21 09:54 pm UTC (link)
>Get the fuck off your lawn and let me have it, you old shit. You don't deserve it.

Diet Pepsi just came out of my nose. Ow.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]footsie
2012-08-20 04:51 pm UTC (link)
"a tremendous con job has been done to women; this spin that says women have sex in order to have orgasm. In fact, women have sex in order to have babies."

Pthb-ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

(Cleans coffee off his computer monitor.)

Sorry, I know this is supposed to be unfunny, but I love this line! Seriously, how often do you see people admit publicly that they're awful in bed to the point that it has given them delusions about the opposite sex? And this one admitted that he's managed to live to be seventy and still hasn't learned not to be awful in bed!

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]chikane
2012-08-20 06:13 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, his poor wife indeed.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]footsie
2012-08-20 06:20 pm UTC (link)
Not necessarily. They could have a really hot pool-boy. In fact, I find myself hoping that they do, because I'm a meanie mean meanie that way.

A pool-girl would be nice, too.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]footsie
2012-08-20 06:22 pm UTC (link)
Hm. Haven't used that icon in years, and I think I was using a CRT monitor when I made it. (Winces.) It looked fine on that CRT, but looks like shit on my current screen. Must redo it sometime...

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]chikane
2012-08-20 07:17 pm UTC (link)
Good point indeed.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]chikane
2012-08-20 06:12 pm UTC (link)
In fact, women have sex in order to have babies."


And men, of course, don't.
Somehow. Magically.

"If it were so, I wouldn't be able to write women as characters in dialogue as well as I do."

I wonder how he knows that he's writing women well, considering his views on women are, well, bullshit.

are ruined for what, in my day, occurred in drive-in theatres every night." Yeah, it used to be ok makes everything right.

What the fuck am I reading.

(Reply to this)


[info]brennalarose
2012-08-20 06:40 pm UTC (link)
...Who the fuck is Bob Ellis?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]eleutheria
2012-08-20 07:30 pm UTC (link)
MTE.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]the__ivorytower
2012-08-20 07:37 pm UTC (link)
Actually, you don't need to have sex to have children. You need to be inseminated. The sex is optional.

Also, what the fuck, dude?

(Reply to this)


[info]cyndra_falin
2012-08-20 08:26 pm UTC (link)
Silly me! Here I thought I was having sex because its fun and it feels good! Fuck you, old man.

(Reply to this)


[info]khym_chanur
2012-08-20 08:38 pm UTC (link)
So do women also masturbate in order to get pregnant?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]rosehiptea
2012-08-20 11:05 pm UTC (link)
I was about to ask the same question.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]shinga
2012-08-21 12:55 am UTC (link)
Good news, UFB... my vibrator and I are expecting! :')

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]roachspit
2012-08-22 01:07 am UTC (link)
You win. You win everything. Forever and ever.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]notjo
2012-08-21 01:26 am UTC (link)
Does anyone want to break it to the lesbians that they can actually get pregnant from their same sex partners now?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]romana03
2012-08-21 01:42 am UTC (link)
I don't think he's heard of lesbians, I think it might break his brain. (More than it is already, I mean.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]kannaophelia
2012-08-22 02:28 am UTC (link)
Darling, I actually only married you so that you could wield the insemination syringe. Sorry to break it to you on journalfen of all places.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]romana03
2012-08-22 05:34 am UTC (link)
*cries*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]kannaophelia
2012-08-22 08:37 am UTC (link)
I don't know what you're complaining about - we're getting the baby.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]romana03
2012-08-22 09:38 am UTC (link)
:P

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]tehrin
2012-08-22 04:57 am UTC (link)
Or thinks we can be fixed by the Magic Healing Power of Penis.

Ugh.

Of course, I am bisexual so I don't exist already.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]kita0610
2012-08-21 03:38 am UTC (link)
There is no way this man believes women masturbate. I kinda wanna send him a link to all my porn.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]honorh
2012-08-21 12:09 am UTC (link)
I read as much of the article as I could, and all I can say is that this man is a hot mess. I honestly think he's not someone with a strong grasp on reality.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]ayala_atreides
2012-08-22 01:05 am UTC (link)
Oh, he's got a strong grasp of reality-- reality as it was in the 1950s. I don't think he's looked at a calendar any time in the last five or six decades or so.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]elektra3
2012-08-21 12:12 am UTC (link)
I love how he seems genuinely confused about why his mother was so angry at his father... right after he talks about how Daddy was constantly absent and flaunted a string of affairs. Seriously, dude? You can't think of any possible explanation than, "Oh, she was a horrible crazy bitch"?

Also, there's this lovely piece of WTF:

These days, there's a kind of hidden feeling of horror that women undergo now in relationships, when the bloke walks out and leaves them scrambling around wine bars to find someone to impregnate them.

Honestly, the whole piece is so jam-packed full of fucked up weirdness that I can't even feel offended. Just... Bob, honey, please get some therapy before you write any more essays. Please.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]honorh
2012-08-21 02:34 am UTC (link)
Seriously, it's really weird. Most of it makes no sense at all.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]tehrin
2012-08-22 04:44 am UTC (link)
He thinks we have nothing better to do with our time than play insemination duck-duck-goose at bars, and don't go to bars for the same reasons men do: to drink and have fun, whether hooking or not hooking up with people. If I want a baby that badly, I'll go to a sperm bank and "cut out the middleman" and don't need a man to raise him or her, K THX.

He probably doesn't believe the clitoris exists.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]shinga
2012-08-21 12:54 am UTC (link)
If I'm having sex just for babies then it's been a very disappointing ten years.

(Reply to this)


[info]staroverthebay
2012-08-21 10:09 pm UTC (link)
Is there the remote possibility of a Bingo here with the whole "LOL it was just a social experiment!!" thing? Or is this guy for fucking real?

if this guy is for real, I kind of hope he's fucking loaded; that's the only non-depressing reason why I can imagine any woman would put up with being married to someone like him. Not that money buys happiness, but at least having lots of money would hopefully enable you to buy lots of stuff to distract you from the dismal reality that your husband thinks you're nothing but a brainless baby-making facility just because you lack a penis.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]kannaophelia
2012-08-22 02:27 am UTC (link)
No... he's really that misogynist. Only not, because he acknowledged that he likes his wife's voice, which makes him completely enlightened.

He's also permanently convinced that he is the greatest talent ever to write:

It is a measure too of Adelaide that the heads of the South Australian Theatre Company, the South Australian Film Corporation, the Adelaide Film Festival Film Fund and Arts SA have refused to come to the play although it has been hailed as the best in English in four centuries, a joy to be at and ‘the most significant artistic event in Adelaide in many, many years’.

I had hoped it might open the Adelaide Film Festival in October next year but if none of them turn up tonight I will withdraw the offer.


I'm sure they're shaking in terror at the prospect opening a festival without something they weren't interested in in the first place.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]tehrin
2012-08-22 04:46 am UTC (link)
After reading "wowser", I read the whole thing in Inspector Gadget's voice. It was still offensive, but slightly less WTF-am-I-reading? than reading it normally.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]staroverthebay
2012-08-23 12:36 am UTC (link)
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought of Inspector Gadget upon seeing the word "Wowser"!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


 
   
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