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napalmnacey
2008-08-17 09:19 am UTC (link)

OH dude. My boyfriend works in the industry. I know aaaall about the douches that work in it. He complains about them from time to time. I don't blame him. He's, you know, a decent human being who considers women to be other human beings and hot his personal play thing and maid. I don't think the fucksticks he works with understand that. I hate to think about what the women on site go through.

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aerobot
2008-08-17 09:33 am UTC (link)

Ooh, yeah, and it goes all the way to the top too sometimes. My dad was invited to this really big industry seminar hosted by his company, and one of the speakers addressed the audiance with, "Good evening, gentlemen."

... And about 20-30% of the audiance was female. Because they're obviously just secretaries or some other not important people, not engineers or geologists or bloody mine managers in their own right. God, do I feel sorry for those ladies.

And there's a few more awful stories that my dad has related to me. I feel good that he's a mining manager and stops that sort of thing whenever he can, though.

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	napalmnacey 2008-08-17 10:00 am UTC (link)
	As I said in another thread here, my boyfriend's coworkers often ask him if he's fucked me yet. Boyfriend made the mistake of being boyishly excited about dating me and having my picture as the desktop. The report from his coworkers was that I was 'hot' and since then, they've wanted to know if he's 'gotten it in' yet. Boyfriend is heartily sick of their bullshit. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	aerobot 2008-08-17 12:42 pm UTC (link)
	AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGHHHH. Ohgodthatissofuckingskeevyaaauuuggghhh. flail Man, I feel for your poor boyfriend for putting up with that bullshit. I'd say that he should complain to someone, since that is harassment, but sadly not many managers would do something about it. :/ Still, he sounds like a total sweetie. :) (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

napalmnacey
2008-08-17 01:47 pm UTC (link)

Oh, he is. See, I was the victim of sexual assault back in... May? June? I forget now (my memory is spotty at the best of times and it's not exactly something I WANT to remember). So I've been a bit shy about jumping into the sack. Plus, I've always been a bit slow about getting coital anyway because it's an incredibly special thing for me. Anything else sexual (foreplay, kissing, horsing around) I've been perfectly happy to take part in (Not so much these days but mainly my mid-twenties when I was partying a lot) but sex - no. So anyway, I'd met my boyfriend just as this assault happened, and he's been SO UNDERSTANDING about the whole thing, and very gentle and caring with me. But he gets this ribbing from his mates in the face of all that. So that's the added WTF factor for you. Sure, the guys up north don't know about my sexual assault, but my boyfriend and I do and it's really shitty to hear that when you're dealing with something as awful as that, you know?

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aerobot
2008-08-17 01:59 pm UTC (link)

Aw man, I am so sorry that happened to you (and I hope that bastard dies in a fire). But it's so great that you've found such a sweet, wonderful guy who's willing to be so understanding. He's so darn sweet I feel the urge to fly over there and kidnap him from you. You're so lucky! :D

But still, that makes the situation about a million times worse for the both of you. That sucks. I wish there was something he could do about it, but there's not much, not without them thinking he's a loser for getting mad/complaining. Argh.

Well, best of luck to you and your boyfriend anyway, and I hope he works something out about his shitty-ass coworkers.

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	napalmnacey 2008-08-17 02:49 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks, dude! Well, he's muscly and he looks like Joxer the Mighty, so if that's to your taste he might let me share you. Bwahahahaha! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	aerobot 2008-08-17 04:00 pm UTC (link)
	I don't share! I would kidnap him away from you and do very ~~evil~~ nice things to him, moohaha. ~~cracks~~ hides whip (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	napalmnacey 2008-08-17 04:14 pm UTC (link)
	Heh. You can try. Dunno if that'd work. lol (Reply to this)(Parent)

	snarkhunter 2008-08-17 04:49 pm UTC (link)
	Just butting in to say two things: 1) I'm so sorry that happened to you, and I hope your healing continues. 2) You clearly have one of the good ones. :) (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

napalmnacey
2008-08-17 05:07 pm UTC (link)

1) If it makes any difference, it wasn't a full-on violent rape or anything (thank Christ!), just a 'friend' fiddling where I didn't want him to. It was a mind-fuck but I'm slowly getting over it.

2) He IS very nice. He's the sort of guy that'll help you change your car tyre if you need it. He actually remembered my favourite kind of chocolate (I mentioned it in an LJ post) and bought it for me on our first date. He brought my mother nice wine the other day. And he has muscles. Sometimes I wonder if I've won the boyfriend lottery.

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	snarkhunter 2008-08-17 05:17 pm UTC (link)
	1) Meh. I mean, I'm very glad for you that you weren't raped, but still. A "friend" doing that to you...that's horrible and disgusting and I hope no one is telling you you should be better already b/c it was "just" an assault. 2) Yeah, you definitely won that lottery. :) (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

napalmnacey
2008-08-17 05:28 pm UTC (link)

1) Actually, I've had people suggest that maybe there's something ELSE wrong with me because I shouldn't be THIS upset over something like that. Even a couple of mental health professionals have said that. Maybe I'm interpreting them wrong, but I've heard it enough. Yes, I've had depression problems before, and I've always had problems coping with big awful changes in my life, but seriously, I wouldn't be freaking out this much if someone hadn't totally violated my trust amongst other things. Nacey SMASH.

2) It's about bloody time. I've been a serial dater for ten years now, all I wanted was a fellow I'd be happy with keeping.

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	stella_polaris 2008-08-18 05:23 pm UTC (link)
	1) What the fuck D: Just. WHAT. I try to come up with something that would express my outrage towards those asscunts and support towards you, but words just fail me. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	napalmnacey 2008-08-19 03:33 am UTC (link)
	Heh. Yeah, I just roll my eyes and give them the mental finger. I know why I'm sad. I know why I'm frightened. I just need the right guidance to find my way out of the confusion and hurt, that's all. (Reply to this)(Parent)

*hug*

mrsparkle
2008-08-19 12:51 am UTC (link)

Kudos to you for working through this and finding yourself a healthy support system in such a caring guy.

I've been in a similar sort of situation, where it wasn't violent or full-on rape, and the asshattery of some of the reactions is just mind-boggling. I'm known as a VERY strong person, so it was scary enough for me that *I* was freaking out, much less to have people blow the whole situation off like it wasn't serious enough to warrant consideration. Fuckwits.

I can empathise with you, and I hope you fully recover soon.

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	cassildra 2008-08-17 05:20 pm UTC (link)
	You totally did. Hold on to that one. :) hugs Keep healing, and keep healthy. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	napalmnacey 2008-08-17 05:29 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks so much! hugs :) (Reply to this)(Parent)

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