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El Juno ([info]eljuno) wrote in [info]wank_report,
@ 2007-07-02 18:27:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood: bored
Current music:Smashing Pumpkins - Hello Kitty Kat

This is the second edition of the default post. Please only comment here if this is the only visible post with space for comments.

All tips posted under this post are fair game to anyone who wants them, but please comment if you take one so that we know. It cuts down on duplicate wank.
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(Post a new comment)


(Anonymous)
2007-07-03 11:12 pm UTC (link)
The new Dr Who companion has been announced. http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/news/cult/news/drwho/2007/07/04/46831.shtml

Currently we are without wank, but doctorrwho@lj has people saying they probably won't continue watching the show, shouting their hatred of RTD and generally being really fucking angry, as well as people full of hope.

(Reply to this)

Monkees and witches and wank, oh my!
(Anonymous)
2007-07-04 06:02 am UTC (link)
I'm surprised this hasn't been mentioned already, but there's some old wank from fanfic_hate. It seems someone has taken issue with the Monkees dabbling in the occult. It even has a bit of spiteful fanfic at the end! Not too many comments from other people, but I guess this is because that comm has been kinda dead lately. What a shame. ;)

http://community.livejournal.com/fanfic_hate/25128.html

(Reply to this)

Supernatural
(Anonymous)
2007-07-04 11:37 am UTC (link)


Jared is nominated for a Teen Choice award, while Jensen is not. Fangirls squee and bitch, depending on how the wind blows.

http://community.livejournal.com/supernatural_tv/1094729.html

http://kelex.livejournal.com/474212.html





(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2007-07-04 05:51 pm UTC (link)
There's wank galore in the swap-bot forums, especially the forums relating to "Questionable Swappers." It's heating up and I can only imagine it's going to continue as there are some people who just can't seem to help themselves.

http://www.swap-bot.com/forums/
http://www.swap-bot.com/forums/category/2



(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2007-07-04 08:34 pm UTC (link)
There's some wank going on over at fandom_secrets on lj.

http://community.livejournal.com/fandomsecrets/56781.html?page=1#comments

The wank is over picture number 25, which is a secret about to RP communities. Whoever reports this will have to get some information on the RPs when they report it, but the front pages of the main comms (campfuckudie and i_s_l_a_n_d_rp) have all of that info.

4 pages of wank already, and it's still growing.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2007-07-05 12:20 pm UTC (link)
lavajin drops into stupid_free (she's a member - http://community.livejournal.com/stupid_free/597672.html?thread=81590696#t81590696) to post a crappy macro because a post is made about her stupidity here - http://community.livejournal.com/veganpeople/2210294.html?view=29567734#t29567734

Threads of interest:

you keep using that word but I don't think it means what you think it means - http://community.livejournal.com/stupid_free/597672.html?thread=81655464#t81655464

Don't free the slaves, teach better plantation management - http://community.livejournal.com/stupid_free/597672.html?thread=81635496#t81635496

if YOU support the torture of sentient beings, YOU are a terrorist - http://community.livejournal.com/stupid_free/597672.html?thread=81656232#t81656232

The article clearly states that the ALF exhumed the old lady and held her body ransom - http://community.livejournal.com/stupid_free/597672.html?thread=81615272#t81615272

It's liking swimming in a pool of 'Are you fucking kidding me?'

(Reply to this)

small. could grow.
(Anonymous)
2007-07-05 04:52 pm UTC (link)
Over on torquere_social, featured authors take a day on the comm and spin tales of smut, sex and fun for those watching. Today, was cbpotts turn who gave us a cute tale about a cannon, aptly titled "Cannon": http://community.livejournal.com/torquere_social/326860.html

gehayi takes offense that someone couldn't bother to do their research for an off-the-cuff, 180 word snibblet written solely for entertainment, and tells the author so. Ending with:

I found all this with a five-minute Google search. Next time, do a little research.

cbpotts explodes. Not once, but twice, calling gehayi out by name in the second entry.

http://community.livejournal.com/torquere_social/327518.html

http://community.livejournal.com/torquere_social/327776.html

The moderator cicirossi has to step in: http://community.livejournal.com/torquere_social/328114.html

Not at all ruffled by her run in, gehayi takes it to her own journal: http://gehayi.livejournal.com/267886.html#cutid1

However, I was not aware that you considered the tale I criticized a private joke to make your friends laugh. I regarded it as I would any story posted on a public forum, and posted accordingly.

clearly, she has missed the entire point of the comm in her quest for perfection and historical accuracy.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: small. could grow. - (Anonymous), 2007-07-05 07:56 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2007-07-06 01:45 am UTC (link)
Talk about wankity-wank.

http://smallship1.livejournal.com/173632.html?format=light
smallship1 at LJ takes great umbrage at the usage of the word "wank".

"When people talk about "fandom wank" they are not describing people indulging in a harmless and pleasurable act which is practiced by (I would imagine) the vast majority of human beings at some point in their lives. They mean to belittle us. They mean to insult us. They mean to be offensive, and they succeed. They mean to turn the passion that we bestow upon our hobbies into something squalid, something dirty, something to which no decent human being would ever stoop."

SRS BIZNIZ, is fandom.

mamadeb (who is American) seems to think that: "I'm pretty sure that the current (mostly American, from what I gather) fannish usage comes from the original meaning - "people who play with their fannishness enough as to lose all perspective" - but I don't think most who use it envision even metaphorical masturbation at this point. "

Because apparently there are no Brits using the word in this fashion in all of fandom.

There is a suggestion for self-therapy from urockgyrl:

"I do have one thing to point out though... If something (word, object, action) makes one's self go STOP/WAIT/WRONG/BAD or some version thereof, it's time to get out the brain shovel and go digging in one's own past to see what is the issue and how it got caused...."

***insert cryptic, personal almost-anecdote about toilet paper here**

"Hopefully you will discover why the four letters WANK make you more upset than any of the other horrid four letter words ( I won't repeat them )."


It's tiny right now, but it just hit metafandom today, so who knows where it could go?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-07-08 06:25 am UTC

[info]dreamer_marie
2007-07-06 03:11 pm UTC (link)
On Superfrenchie, someone posts an essay about an article somebody else wrote about Europe being doomed. There's a nice little wank in the comments about whether America is one country, a continent, how many continents there are... Small, but tasty.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-07-06 10:35 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2007-07-07 07:11 am UTC (link)
At fanficrants, teh_no complains about a Storm Fox fic at the Adult Pit: "I really don't think there's war crimes in a children's video game."

Nymosy lays a smackdown in GIANT SPARKLY CAPS.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2007-07-07 06:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-07-07 11:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2008-05-25 07:55 am UTC
Zombie cosplay wank
(Anonymous)
2007-07-07 09:46 pm UTC (link)
Over on GameFAQs' Dead Rising forum, SilentBelle posts some pictures of her boyfriend cosplaying as Vash the Stampede, wearing a Servbot helmet borrowed from a fellow cosplayer cosplaying as hero-bastard photojournalist Frank West.

Kiriyama Kazuo immediately starts off in the third comment with "I hate nerds", prompting people to swoop in and defend SilentBelle and her bf, while KK sticks to his guns and shares his thoughts on yaoi cosplay, nerds and gamers in general, while insisting that he himself does not fall into any aforementioned category.

Moving a bit slow, but KK seems to be holding strong to his resolve, and is slowly gathering other cosplay-haters on his side. Meanwhile, the pro-cosplay crowd is equally strong in their defense of SilentBelle and other cosplayers.

http://boards.gamefaqs.com/gfaqs/genmessage.php?board=928326&topic=36472183

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2007-07-08 03:09 am UTC (link)
Fabu writes, "Even if you dislike only one female character, if your justification for that dislike is that she's promiscuous or sexually immoral, I have a problem with that." (http://fabu.livejournal.com/611317.html?format=light)

Mrs_Norrington shows up to dissent and bitch about Elizabeth Swann. (http://fabu.livejournal.com/611317.html?thread=9473525&format=light#t9473525) When people disagree, she declares her intent not to answer any more comments. Many, many times. And complains in her own journal (http://mrs-norrington.livejournal.com/196800.html)

And again (http://mrs-norrington.livejournal.com/196961.html)>

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-07-11 10:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-07-11 11:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-07-14 06:46 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-07-25 06:25 am UTC
OTF Wank
(Anonymous)
2007-07-08 03:16 pm UTC (link)
http://community.livejournal.com/amazing_ink/22514.html?#cutid1

The prodigal younger sister of bad_tattoos4, week (or so) old amazing_ink is already getting agitated because a lot of posts featuring mediocre tattoos of the OPs are leaking through. Nevermind that quality is a bit subjective anyway, it seems that the lone mod, who approves all posts before they go up, is at times totally incompetent. If egos weren't enough, it was just featured in LJ Spotlight, and people are bitching about that as well.

It's scattered through many different posts, and it's mostly bitching, but there are a few prime fights.

(Reply to this)

This can't end well
(Anonymous)
2007-07-09 01:30 am UTC (link)
http://community.livejournal.com/heroes_fanwank/profile

[info]mneiai is trying to make her own fandom-wank, only stupid

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: This can't end well - (Anonymous), 2007-07-09 04:41 am UTC
Re: This can't end well - (Anonymous), 2007-07-09 06:17 pm UTC
Potterdammerung has begun!
(Anonymous)
2007-07-09 12:42 pm UTC (link)
Over on LJ, [info]hpspoilersrule has recently decided to join the rest of us in anticipating the destruction of the Internet. However, his particular kink is not fanfiction and manips, but posting poorly written "spoilers" in a handful of LJ comms, some of which have nothing to do with HP at all.

The afflicted comms (at least, the ones he has friended) are: adhwf, bottom_draco, ffrantsrants (huh?), ginny_n_draco, ginny_obsession, harry_potter, honestlyronald, kurosaki_clinic (huh?x2), nevilleginny, pinkcrack (Sakura? o.O), and wotcher_wolvie.

Several of the comms have already removed the posts and banned [info]hpspoilersrule, but in places like honestlyronald (where the mods are MIA) and [info]hpspoilersrule's journal, the posts are still up.

In fact, the list of comms where the post is still viewable is:
nevilleginny
honestlyronald
ffrantsrants
adhwf
wotcher_wolvie

The spamspoilers seems to consist of three posts, one of reg'lar ole spoilers (http://community.livejournal.com/ffrantsrants/61957.html), one of chapter titles (http://community.livejournal.com/ffrantsrants/61929.html), and one peculiarly worded list of spoilers with a letter at the end (http://hpspoilersrule.livejournal.com/903.html) that includes such gems as "Dear my brothers" and "who kill curiosity?" The third post is posted twice in his journal for some reason, once in italics and once in regular font. The other two posts are only up on the comms.


Here's the letter-style excerpt of the third post in its hilarious entirety:

"Yes, we did it.

We did it by following the precious words of the great Pope Benedict XVI when he still was Cardinal Josepth Ratzinger.

He explained why Harry Potter bring the youngs of our earth to Neo Paganism faith.

So we make this spoiler to make reading of the upcoming book useless and boring.

The attack strategy was the easiest one.
The usual milw0rm downloaded exploit delivered by email/click-on-the-link/open-browser/click-on-this-animated-icon/back-connect to some employee of Bloomsbury Publishing, the company that's behind the Harry crap.

It's amazing to see how much people inside the company have copies and drafts of this book.
Curiosity killed the cat.

Who kill curiosity?


To protect you and your families

God bless you

Gabriel"



I think my favorite part is "who kill curiosity?" Although why they think the war against Potter is best waged on a handful LJ comms, I have no idea.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Addendum! - (Anonymous), 2007-07-09 12:45 pm UTC
iiwkTkIlkBBkCZj - (Anonymous), 2008-09-13 08:44 pm UTC
cPRRBxsZDOYR - (Anonymous), 2008-10-02 04:06 pm UTC
BPAL
(Anonymous)
2007-07-09 01:54 pm UTC (link)
Evan Dorkin insults BPAL's Neil Gaiman themed scents. http://evandorkin.livejournal.com/125538.html?page=1
These scents are part of a charity line, developed with Gaiman's permission, and proceeds benefit the CBLDF.

The company's owners (http://kebechet.livejournal.com/181110.html and http://evandorkin.livejournal.com/125538.html?thread=2576226#t2576226) gleefully take it in stride, as does Neil Gaiman (http://syndicated.livejournal.com/officialgaiman/375727.html). The fans aren't so impressed, and there's wank in Neil's feed (http://syndicated.livejournal.com/officialgaiman/375500.html?thread=8095180#t8095180) as well as Evan's journal: http://evandorkin.livejournal.com/125538.html?thread=2557282#t2557282

She made these for US, not YOU.
http://evandorkin.livejournal.com/125538.html?thread=2557282#t2557282

Serious business.
http://evandorkin.livejournal.com/125538.html?thread=2581858#t2581858

What have YOU done for charity lately?
http://evandorkin.livejournal.com/125538.html?thread=2581858#t2581858

and my favorite, "if you don't want criticism, don't post it on the internet":
http://evandorkin.livejournal.com/125538.html?thread=2581858#t2581858

Evan Dorkin, who is bewildered (bewildered, I tell you!) by all the hate, is the guy who writes "Milk and Cheese" and "Eltingville Club." (Neither of which I've heard of, though apparently M&C is on sale at Hot Topic. Which makes his rant about perfumes being sold in a comics catalog for comic geeks being a "display of madness, greed, incompetence, witlessness, and outright trash" kinda...something?)

And I'd buy "Nank." http://yinepu.net/nicehair85.jpg

/shameless Gaiman fan

(Reply to this)(Thread)

fafafdrevgthyry - (Anonymous), 2008-11-06 09:44 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2007-07-09 09:36 pm UTC (link)
CAPSLOCK_HOUSE thinks F_W is planning an invasion. ZOMG spies amongst us!

http://community.livejournal.com/capslock_house/541881.html

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-07-11 08:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-07-12 09:13 pm UTC
Small Icon Rants wank
(Anonymous)
2007-07-10 02:05 am UTC (link)
http://community.livejournal.com/iconrants/617630.html

eviltera rants about an incident in a LIMS community that was immediately recitified, but didn't count on the possibility of the LIMS owners to be members of iconrants.

Cue ohthatisbadnews and xenylamine apologizing and politely explaining why the incident occured and what they did to fix the situation. eviltera won't have it and starts wanking, painting herself as a victim due to the evol LIMS owners ganging up on her.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2007-07-10 05:33 am UTC (link)
THE DAY A LOT OF THINGS HAPPENED TO ONE COMMUNITY, AND YET NOTHING REALLY DID:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/theacademyis/

As an indication of how great this kerfluffle was: The LJ comm "theacademyis" typically gets about twenty posts a day. On 7/9/07, it got 165.

Alright. Apparently, the very lovely band known as "The Academy Is..." informed the owner of their official LJ community needed to start, well, moderating. No longer would one be able to post whatever they damn well pleased, though exactly what it was that wouldn't be allowed appears to have never been specified. This led to schock and outrage, and whispered rumors of censorship beginning to opress them. Mixed in was claims that TAI had changed, their music wasn't as good as it used to be, and they no longer loved their devoted fans.

After many posts of anger, moderator finally decides that alright, if they're that horrified about moderating, then no more mods, the community can do whatever the hell it wants.

Aaand thus starts the most active spamfest a community for a relatively obscure band has ever had. Amongst picspams and posts about Pete Wentz are just as many insisting that the madness must be stopped, and a few innocent bystanders not involved. The band's cameraman drops by a couple times, extremely confused. Many n00bs are confused as well, and even now comment about their befuddlement. The many MANY posts continue for roughly a full twenty-four hours.

At this current point, the spam is dying down, and the noble non-spammers are stepping up and speaking wisdom about how people need to respect TAI, this drama shows who the TRUE fans are, blahblahblah etc. Some former spammers are making indignant remarks about how it was only for ONE DAY, and they weren't nearly as bad as everyone else! A few cries for a new mod are lost amongst the chaos. The explosion is slowly fizzling, but even now it's not completely over.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-07-10 05:35 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-07-10 06:07 am UTC
bad_rpers_suck wank
(Anonymous)
2007-07-10 06:09 am UTC (link)
A surprising amount of wank over the OP using the word "gayass" in his/her rant.

http://community.livejournal.com/bad_rpers_suck/4504044.html

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2007-07-10 06:45 am UTC (link)
Wow, 5000 reports on the old post. I'm impressed.

Anyway: http://community.livejournal.com/cat_adoration/1841055.html

it got posted to s_f, where the general consensus is, it's too lame to count as stupid. It's definitely wank, though. Loads of wank.

Full disclosure: I'm LJ user hopefulnebula, and I did participate in this. Briefly. When I thought the OP was legit. Then I decided to use (and live up to) my "you are not worth another word" icon and got the fuck out while I could.

(Reply to this)

for the lounge
(Anonymous)
2007-07-10 04:25 pm UTC (link)
Holly Black is going to Dragon*Con. -- http://dragoncon.org/dc_guest_detail.php?id=1502

Can we hope we'll see CC as well? (http://wiki.fandomwank.com/index.php/Cassie_Claire_goes_to_a_convention_for_free)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: for the lounge - (Anonymous), 2007-08-21 11:32 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2007-07-10 06:35 pm UTC (link)
http://www.marrymemovie.com/main/2007/07/05/page-36-threesome/#comments

Marry Me is an online webcomic about a pop star (Stasia) who during one of her concerts marries an audience member (Guy) on a whim. The latest strip shows this Guy's female best friend, Parker, (who is infatuated with Stasia), trying to use his position as a leverage to arrange a threesome. People get upset at this, declare that they have lost respect for Parker and that the proposal is "attempted rape."

The real wank starts when Bobby, the creator and writer of the comic, begins responding in his usual, slightly pissy, manner. People accuse him of being overly defensive, whereas he replies that he Actually Doesn't Care and is Laughing His Ass Off, and then promptly threatens to ban anyone who disagrees with him.

Also, there's the bunch of wackos who decided the weren't gonna argue, but were instead going to sit on an imaginary bench and have an imaginary picnic with imaginary music and imaginary booze. O_o; They're still commenting with things like, "I'm bringing the hot dogs, can somebody get the mustard?" "Okay!"

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2007-09-24 10:17 pm UTC

(Anonymous)
2007-07-10 08:40 pm UTC (link)
As is usual on Tuesdays, Blizzard brought down the World of Warcraft servers to push patch content. Cue the usual shrieking about server down time and reimbursement, blah blah blah.

But then.

Somehow orc character displays got broken so that the shoulder armor is displaying at about half its usual (grossly exaggerated) size.

Cue FIFTY-ONE PAGES of wailing in the WoW forums since people figured it out. ( http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/thread.html?topicId=174832322&sid=1 )

Choice quotes from the first three pages include:
"If blizzard goes through with this, this will be the single worst change to the game to date."

"IM dead serious, I made an orc for the shoulders, I swear on the gods of Battle Star Gallactiga that if you keep this change there will be subscriptions cancelled with the reason being shoulders RANT RANT RANT

THERE IS NO PERIOD!"

"Its !@%! like this that makes me want to cancel my subscription.. I mean wtf change something thats perfectly fine? Oh, and seemingly ignore the real issues. I hope this !@%! isnt real,"

And so on and so forth.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2007-07-11 12:49 am UTC (link)
http://community.livejournal.com/fanficrants/5067827.html

Possible Chris Benoit wank.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2007-07-11 10:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2007-07-11 11:56 pm UTC
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