Re: MACY'S FIRES SANTA (no not the movie, for reals!)
I've been followed home by a guy who says "You're very pretty" before. I've had people start touching me after I try to brush the joke and think "He probably doesn't mean that."
Not the same situation. Thank you, carry on.

You're saying that the woman invited sexual comments by sitting on his lap. That's just slut shaming.
No. That's logic. Sitting on a grown-up's lap is a contact seen as flirty in most situation. For instance, try to imagine yourself sitting on a stranger's lap. Would you do it and be surprised if he tried to flirt?

So the woman was sitting onto another adult's lap, right? In a situation where it's okay and funny, because, eh, Santa. So the adult playing Santa jokes about the situation, in a way which is also appropriate because of the established atmosphere.

Saying that "risque" jokes are appropriate in "risque" situation is not slut-shaming, it's logic. You should try it out sometimes! It's great.

And you're saying that a real life situation on what a actually happened and was said was the equivalent to fictional books.
I'm... Not. I'm saying that you seem to display an impressive amount of ignorance of the concept of "atmosphere".

You're grasping at straws now. Go away troll.
For the sake of my faith in humanity's intelligence level, I sincerely hope you are the troll.