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Wednesday, September 14th, 2011
11:47 am - I thought we were laughing at delusional Hiddlestoners?

spawn_of_kong
Seriously, what is it with wanks related to Thor that cause so much in-house wanking? (WARNING: link leads to discussions of rape, domestic abuse, torture, and other unfunny stuff.)

(60 comments | comment on this)

Tuesday, May 17th, 2011
9:25 pm - But what ARE your thoughts on Jotunheim?

spawn_of_kong
What's really sad is this is the very first thread. Isn't there a comments quota that has to be met before in-house wanking can start?

current mood: OMGWTF

(125 comments | comment on this)

Thursday, March 24th, 2011
2:29 pm - You know, you're supposed to cross the line twice.

tetradecimal
So you decide to make a witty post in fandom_lounge about the "booty slapping" feature in an upcoming Duke Nukem game. Well, minus the wit. Tempers flare, you despair about the culture of JF being unable to take a joke, you delete the post.

Oh, but that's not the best part!

The Best Part:
xell_3


Never mind, it was a mod deletion.

(32 comments | comment on this)

Saturday, February 26th, 2011
7:54 am - How to Be Mauled To Bits By Hyenas in Less Than Twenty-Four Hours
duraniedrama Step One: Get the insane idea in your head that [info]fandom_wank and [info]fandom_rant are populated with "plenty of critics and thinking people" who will just love to read a "rant series over there" about your personal issues with Criminal Minds fandom.

Step Two: Post your lovely, lovely teal dear to [info]fandom_wank and edit the entry every thirty seconds when you realize that you're not quite getting the response you'd hoped for. Beg the mods to delete the post, threaten to post underage material if people don't stop flooding your inbox and generally continue to prove that you have no clue what you've stepped into. Bonus: complain that 100 comments was plenty but that 300 is way too much and there'd better not be 600 by the time you get back.

Step Three: Poke your head into [info]fandom_rant just to make sure you're in the right place. Find out the hard way that you're probably not.

EDIT:

Step Four: DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING and discover that you can't escape the screencaps.

(134 comments | comment on this)

Tuesday, November 23rd, 2010
5:43 pm - It’s a beautiful day in wankitywank, and we’re coming to you live from sf_drama.

anthologia
Well, it’s been a stormy few days in SF_Drama. What looked to be merely a blip on the radar of transfail has exploded into a full-fledged hurricane, taking several comms and journals with it. I’m here with eyewitness Wadsworth.

WARNING: This wank, epic as it is, contains traces of transphobic comments and takes place partly in a post reporting racefail. )

(35 comments | comment on this)

Wednesday, August 4th, 2010
3:37 pm

tetradecimal
Otakon happened this past weekend, and with it, a special showing of Funimation's dub of Axis Powers Hetalia. Unfortunately, one of the jokes featured Germany uttering the line, "Great. What is it, another [censored]?"

The censored word, of course, was "Jew".

Unsurprisingly, fandom implodes. The mice on wank_report, however, appear to have taken the implosion to the next level, having erupted into a frothing, incoherent rage from which the following facts appear to have emerged:

(a) Hetalia fans are racist
(b) Hetalia detractors are racist
(c) EVERYONE IS T-BOY
(d) Who is T-Boy?
(e) White knight white knight white knight

(93 comments | comment on this)

Wednesday, July 14th, 2010
10:03 am - Initials are serious business.

lady_ganesh
If there's even a chance someone might interpret your words negatively, why speak at all?

current mood: Bitch Slapped

(104 comments | comment on this)

Thursday, June 10th, 2010
1:45 pm - Delicious LJ meta

tetradecimal
Yo, [info]elfwreck, I'm really happy for you and I'mma let you finish, but OH GOD META IT'S BEEN SO LONG ♥♥♥

(68 comments | comment on this)

Wednesday, November 11th, 2009
10:50 am - I didn't realise I had to do a degree in everything to have an opinion

tetradecimal
The Takarazuka Revue is an all-female Japanese musical troupe, recently involved in some unfunnybusiness involving a girl expelled from a music school. And all is right (wrong?) in the unfunny world.

Until someone speaks up and asks: "Is this like...the Japanes equivalent of the Pussy Cat Dolls?"

AAAAAAND WE'RE OFF!

"I love this community, use the word girl and you have 20 people jumping over you for being sexist, use the word skanky in a conversation with someone who made an honest mistake, then it's all OK."

Actually, this has kind of happened before.

Remember kids, Poor Communication Kills. Or something. Also, believe in magic.

ETA: "I'm just curious, why is racism becoming such a taboo topic on Fandom Wank, well, apart from the fact that people are getting burnt out by hearing about the subject." (from [info]white_serpent)

ETA2: Somehow, the entry tags are strangely appropriate. (from [info]galateus)

(126 comments | comment on this)

Monday, November 2nd, 2009
6:25 pm - Blame the woman, not tradition!

hypno_jango
Thanks for the mansplaining!

(121 comments | comment on this)

Tuesday, October 6th, 2009
10:14 am - The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things...

jkefka
Oh boy howdy is this one a doozy. So, [info]ari_o posts a fandom_secrets wank that is found by some (but not all) people to be overly depressing (I withhold judgment). This leads to mass wanking. Let's just get to the highlight reel.

Despair, F_W has gone downhill and lost teh funny! (In all likelihood, spawning Sep's follow-up post and its tag cloud)

An eloquent, finely tuned review of ari_o's eta on the difference of opinion.

The triumphant return of Caito, hero of the Potato Wars.

Additional bitching and moaning.

And, of course, recipes.

This is magnificent sarcasm, or at least I sincerely hope it is.

And finally, an impressive display of clairvoyance!

There's plenty to go round, folks. Are we done now? I think we're done now.

(60 comments | comment on this)

Tuesday, September 29th, 2009
3:45 pm - Mod Post

snacky
The last post, referencing the ONTD/Eli Roth wank on FW, was deleted.

Reason: The post linked to the content of a flocked (ONTD) post. The poster did not edit this link out after being called on it by a mod, so the post was deleted.

Confusion may arise here, my little wankas! The thing is, it's a Journalfen rule not to repost/reproduce the content of flocked posts. However, FW does allow you to link to these locked posts, if the community has open membership, i.e., anyone can join to see the post. I should note that it's polite to clarify this point in your post, if you care about such things.

The fandom_wank rules, on our profile page, have been updated, to hopefully clarify this situation.

Sorry to everyone who enjoys in-house wank.

(10 comments | comment on this)

Monday, September 14th, 2009
8:08 pm - A tiny wank nibblet

tetradecimal
So. Kanye West acts like a complete tool at an awards ceremony and interrupts award winner Taylor Swift's acceptance speech by proclaiming that Beyonce's video was better (fandom_lounge thread here, with more details).

Everyone calls Kanye a tool, assigns due props to Swift, Beyonce, and even Pink, all that jazz. Suddenly, [info]cat_mcdougall cries havoc and lets slip the thoughts on yaoi:

(Personally, I think Kanye's outburst was because Taylor is pale blonde, white, thin (very thin) and I think she has blue eyes - meaning, Aryan Ideal. Beyonce, while well toned, and very fit... is none of those things. Reverse racism? Maybe?)

Bonus fauxpology inside.

(66 comments | comment on this)

Tuesday, September 1st, 2009
5:02 pm - WAAAAAHH on Wank_Report

_goblin_
On 2009-08-30, at 06:48 am UTC, an anonymouse posts what is essentially a clairvoyant wank about the Supernatural fandom on [info]wank_report.

On the same day, at 07:56 am UTC--which is before that post had even a single reply to it--someone on [info]spn_gossip posts about the post on wank_report. Gee, I wonder how that anon spotted it sooooo fast...

Surprise! Suddenly, that thread on wank_report is full of traffic, much of which has obviously just parachuted in from the SPN fandom.

The second comment on the original wank_report thread is notable for reasons that will become apparent. A mousie suggests people from wank_report are trolling the wank at spn_gossip.

To be fair, there is one mousie who admits to trolling the wank.

A(nother?) mousie posts later to again insinuate that the trolling is due to wankas from wank_report. As opposed to SPNers from the SPN thread. Where the wanking is actually going on. And who were, y'know, linked to wank_report half an hour before the original post had any replies.

A whole new thread is started on the wank_report! It's entitled: "Suggestion". The OP mousie asks that wank_report institute a rule against reporting on wanks that occur in anonymous communities such as spn_gossip. The logic is that no one can tell if wankas are trolling the wank in an anonymous community.

That peters out, but lo! Another whole new thread is started on the wank_report! It's entitled: "BAN REPORTS OF SPN_GOSSIP". It features some mousies saying the trolls were from the SPN fandom to begin with, and some mousies saying the trolls came from wank_report.

There may be further developments on this one; I'll keep you posted. In the meanwhile, however, I gently remind everyone that just because wank_report is ours, that doesn't make it cool to go over there and leave comments, now that this has been posted here.

You may either continue in the discussion there (and risk being mocked as a wanker) OR laugh at teh funneh right here, but doing both would be trolling the wank. Be good, sweet wankas.

(55 comments | comment on this)

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009
4:25 pm

morgyne
Might get some negative feedback on this, but...

current mood: Amazed

(85 comments | comment on this)

Thursday, July 9th, 2009
9:24 pm - I have no idea what's going on here...

kookaburra
I'm not in the SPN fandom, and don't watch the show, and have no godly idea what the hell the mice are talking about, but this kerfuffle brewing in the comments of the anonymous wank report has been amusing me today.

...also, I'm a bitch too because I laughed at the delicious.com account.

current mood: *sporfle!*

(34 comments | comment on this)

Friday, July 3rd, 2009
4:21 pm

tetradecimal
Somewhere on the internets, the kin are restless. Insults are hurled, egos exposed, and a report is duly written. Unfortunately, it involves some questionable creative decisions on the part of the author, not all of which are welcomed.

No exact copy of the original report, although a slightly edited version was preserved and the rest can be pieced together through wanka comments.

Meanwhile, [info]goblin and [info]_goblin_ appear to display their spiffy new powers of asexual reproduction. Or something. Recipes are shared. And [info]fanpoodlex shows up to... well, I'm not sure, actually.

The moral of this story? Snow goons are bad news.

(60 comments | comment on this)

Wednesday, June 10th, 2009
9:40 am - Special: Two wankitywanks for the price of one!

jkefka
Hello Wankas! It's been a busy week for wanking inside the house, and it's only Wednesday! The two latest F_W posts (as of this writing) have led to all kinds of fappery, so lets get this party started.

In this corner we have [info]twinno stepping into her sister's shoes and posting about someone trying to sell their Twilight fanfic. Due to deliberate misdirection on the part of the wanker, it was unclear whether they were of a sufficient age to be wanked. In the end, the mods ruled that they were not. The post, and [info]_goblin_'s creepy mod-love, were promptly erased from this mortal plane. All well and good in the land of wankaville, until [info]catchester questions the age rule and then proceeds to be a sarcastic, passive-aggressive twit for a while. Good times and fappery are had by all.

And now for something completely different, we got some lovely guest wankers giving their two cents on the sinking of the Torchtanic. First comment and we already have a winner! It gets even better later, when someone shows up to fap and then deletes their comment like a bitch. Luckily, some clever wankas think to preserve the fappery so we can all point and laugh. And yes, that's me in there being a snippy little bastard.

And it's only Wednesday! It can only get better from here.

(72 comments | comment on this)

Tuesday, May 19th, 2009
8:48 pm - How to Derail a Wank

reeve
Step One: Post a lengthy comment—anonymously, of course—about how your previously wanked friend recently committed suicide, and how Fandom Wank is to blame. This can be done in any wank report, but preferably an entertaining one; for example, one about a 27 year old Trekkie complaining about n00bs mussing up his fandom. Make sure your friend isn't named and that you don't sign the post, but go into detail, drop some unfounded accusations, and leave hints that you yourself are the dead wanker.

Step Two: When wankas and/or other mice start asking for evidence in the form of F_W, F_W Wiki, and/or other links, angrily deny the proof and tell them that they should be ashamed of themselves. Do the same (or just sit back and watch) when others call bullshit.

Step Three: If Step One went well enough, it should've inspired some internet detectives, of which there are quite a few on F_W, to take on the case. Confirm the identity of the allegedly dead party when a wanka makes an accurate guess, but continue to hold back any concrete evidence.

Step Four: If the allegedly dead party is a particularly notable wanker, make no apologies for their past behavior on F_W, and continue to claim that it is all the fault of the wankas, especially the rule-enforcing mods.

Step Five: Remain silent when allegations of sockpuppetry are made and further holes in your story are poked.

Step Six: Continue stirring the pot every so often, even though you claimed earlier that you were done trying to argue with the wankas and other mice. Ignore earth logic and leave them all doubtful as to your story's veracity for maximum effect.

Step ETA (Revised Edition): Cleaning this up a bit, and will continue to update this step as necessary. If something new and exciting happens, I'll ETA again.

SOMEBODY has a lot of time on his hands... )

(647 comments | comment on this)

Saturday, April 25th, 2009
10:03 pm - HP wank: Tastier with Meta

sevendeadlyfun
Bring out your cred! Bring out your cred!

(159 comments | comment on this)


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