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Caito Potato (![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} caito) wrote in ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/community.gif){kind=small} wankitywank,@ 2008-12-16 13:44:00 |
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I've been putting off grading essays
In the communitywank_report the wanks are reported by two separate, yet equally important groups. The mice who post about wank and the wankas who look through to find wanks worth posting to the proper wank comms.
These are their stories.
Although inspired by a true incident, the following story is fictionalized and does not attempt to emulate reality.
FADE IN
TEASER
INT.wank_report - DAY
Light beams from the flashlights held byvzg and a another wanka coming down the dark hall.
vzg
More splooge.
A stain of splooge is splashed against the cement wall. The other wanka moves ahead ofvzg, checking in front of them and looking to the left.
frequentmouse
Floor's clean this way.
vzg
Go ahead. What do you got?
frequentmouse
Splooge on the wall.
Another sploogy handprint glimmers in the circle of light.
vzg
God. Doesn't anyone know to use tissues after?
frequentmouse
Psst, psst, something on the floor.
A can of spam rolls in front of the wankas' feet.
MOUSE (O.S.)
What the hell is up with all the spam? Can somebody clean it up?
vzg looks at frequentmouse and shrugs.
vzg
Sounds like a reasonable question to me. It's bots, which always appear so long as the comm remains open to anonymous comments, and it'll get cleaned up. The mouse should just be patient.
Then, a round of splooge fires.vzg jumps at the harsh sound. She can't wait any longer. vzg runs toward the sound of wanking.
PROTIP MOUSE (O.S.)
This is not a community for wanking in. It's a community to report wank.
You stupid fuck.
vzg finds the mice, rushes toward a nearby desk, and slams her forehead on it. She then goes to arrest Protip Mouse, reading it its rights.
vzg
Listen, mousie. Make sure the person you are targeting is actually wanking. Do not wank in your response to the supposed wanking.
PROTIP MOUSE
Sweetie, why the fuck are you always coming here? You've never said anything remotely amusing and you seem to have some kind of mental retardation. Please move on.
Another mouse appears from the shadows and laughs heartily.
SHADOW MOUSE
I agree with that comment.
vzg
Ooh, that hurts me so very much. Someone on the internet doesn't like me! How ever will I go on?
A couple bars of Celine Dion's hit single "My Heart Will Go On" play, then stop abruptly.
A particularly loud mouse appears from the corner.
CAPSLOCK MOUSE
PROBABLY BY USING SARCASM TO COVER UP ALL THAT INNER PAIN.
SHADOW MOUSE
Oh. What a... brn? Brown? Barn? Guys, I think there's a typo in this script...
vzg
You know, if you weren't an obnoxious troll I'm sure I'd like you.
frequentmouse has, by this time, caught up with her partner, and puts her hand on vzg's shoulder to calm her.
frequentmouse
There's no winning against the wanky mice atwank_report, you might as well go away and leave them to luxuriate in their foolishness.
vzg
But I never get to use my The More You Know image!
frequentmouse
That would be a crying shame, indeed.
END OF TEASER
ACT π
FADE IN
INT.wank_report
Original Poster Mouse stands alone. Hetalia wankers are going at it infandom_secrets, a fair distance away but still within sight. Dutifully, Original Poster Mouse makes a note of the wanking in the sticky pages of wank_report.
ORIGINAL POSTER MOUSE
Secret-maker posts secret judging Hetalia fans because there are several requests and fills on the kink meme that deal with tragedies such as the Rape of Nanking, invasion of Poland, Pearl Harbor, etc. Some people think Hetalia fandom is sick. Some people try to defend their fandom saying it doesn't represent the entire fandom. Many, many people are revolted.
Another reasonable mouse enters and readswank_report's newest entry over Original Poster Mouse's shoulder.
REASONABLE MOUSE
Can I vote that this not be posted on f_w proper? This mouse is not particularly anxious to hear f_w's Thoughts On Nationslash. Or on anything else brought up in the aforementioned wank, really.
Original Poster Mouse considers this for a moment, then nods.
ORIGINAL POSTER MOUSE
Original mouse has to agree. Hetalia wank is just the same thing over and over again.
From the darkest, sploogiest corners ofwank_report emerges CAPSLOCK MOUSE, dressed in its best troll gear.
CAPSLOCK MOUSE
THEN WHY DID YOU BOTHER TO REPORT THE WANK, MORON?
ORIGINAL POSTER MOUSE
Eh, felt like it, I suppose. It probably would've gotten reported anyway.
Reasonable Mouse clearly cannot stand CAPSLOCK MOUSE.
REASONABLE MOUSE
Oh my God, why are you freaking out about everything here? Is reporting wank really that important to you? Do you want the gold medal of wank reporting? Do you have some delusion that "proper" wank reporting will somehow end hunger and bring about world peace? Seriously, you're worse than half the wankers that get reported on f_w proper.
CAPLOCK MOUSE
LOL DEFENSIVE
REASONABLE MOUSE
lol whut. What do I have to be defensive about? I'm not the OP, nor do I know who s/he is. NICE TRY THOUGH.
caito
Lol.
END OF ACT π
In the community
wank_report the wanks are reported by two separate, yet equally important groups. The mice who post about wank and the wankas who look through to find wanks worth posting to the proper wank comms. These are their stories.
Although inspired by a true incident, the following story is fictionalized and does not attempt to emulate reality.
FADE IN
TEASER
INT.
wank_report - DAYLight beams from the flashlights held by
vzg and a another wanka coming down the dark hall.vzgMore splooge.
A stain of splooge is splashed against the cement wall. The other wanka moves ahead of
vzg, checking in front of them and looking to the left.frequentmouseFloor's clean this way.
vzgGo ahead. What do you got?
frequentmouseSplooge on the wall.
Another sploogy handprint glimmers in the circle of light.
vzgGod. Doesn't anyone know to use tissues after?
frequentmousePsst, psst, something on the floor.
A can of spam rolls in front of the wankas' feet.
What the hell is up with all the spam? Can somebody clean it up?
vzg looks at frequentmouse and shrugs.vzgSounds like a reasonable question to me. It's bots, which always appear so long as the comm remains open to anonymous comments, and it'll get cleaned up. The mouse should just be patient.
Then, a round of splooge fires.
vzg jumps at the harsh sound. She can't wait any longer. vzg runs toward the sound of wanking.This is not a community for wanking in. It's a community to report wank.
You stupid fuck.
vzg finds the mice, rushes toward a nearby desk, and slams her forehead on it. She then goes to arrest Protip Mouse, reading it its rights.vzgListen, mousie. Make sure the person you are targeting is actually wanking. Do not wank in your response to the supposed wanking.
PROTIP MOUSE
Sweetie, why the fuck are you always coming here? You've never said anything remotely amusing and you seem to have some kind of mental retardation. Please move on.
Another mouse appears from the shadows and laughs heartily.
I agree with that comment.
vzgOoh, that hurts me so very much. Someone on the internet doesn't like me! How ever will I go on?
A couple bars of Celine Dion's hit single "My Heart Will Go On" play, then stop abruptly.
A particularly loud mouse appears from the corner.
PROBABLY BY USING SARCASM TO COVER UP ALL THAT INNER PAIN.
SHADOW MOUSE
Oh. What a... brn? Brown? Barn? Guys, I think there's a typo in this script...
vzgYou know, if you weren't an obnoxious troll I'm sure I'd like you.
frequentmouse has, by this time, caught up with her partner, and puts her hand on vzg's shoulder to calm her.frequentmouseThere's no winning against the wanky mice at
wank_report, you might as well go away and leave them to luxuriate in their foolishness.vzgBut I never get to use my The More You Know image!
frequentmouseThat would be a crying shame, indeed.
END OF TEASER
FADE IN
INT.
wank_reportOriginal Poster Mouse stands alone. Hetalia wankers are going at it in
fandom_secrets, a fair distance away but still within sight. Dutifully, Original Poster Mouse makes a note of the wanking in the sticky pages of wank_report.Secret-maker posts secret judging Hetalia fans because there are several requests and fills on the kink meme that deal with tragedies such as the Rape of Nanking, invasion of Poland, Pearl Harbor, etc. Some people think Hetalia fandom is sick. Some people try to defend their fandom saying it doesn't represent the entire fandom. Many, many people are revolted.
Another reasonable mouse enters and reads
wank_report's newest entry over Original Poster Mouse's shoulder.Can I vote that this not be posted on f_w proper? This mouse is not particularly anxious to hear f_w's Thoughts On Nationslash. Or on anything else brought up in the aforementioned wank, really.
Original Poster Mouse considers this for a moment, then nods.
Original mouse has to agree. Hetalia wank is just the same thing over and over again.
From the darkest, sploogiest corners of
wank_report emerges CAPSLOCK MOUSE, dressed in its best troll gear.THEN WHY DID YOU BOTHER TO REPORT THE WANK, MORON?
ORIGINAL POSTER MOUSE
Eh, felt like it, I suppose. It probably would've gotten reported anyway.
Reasonable Mouse clearly cannot stand CAPSLOCK MOUSE.
Oh my God, why are you freaking out about everything here? Is reporting wank really that important to you? Do you want the gold medal of wank reporting? Do you have some delusion that "proper" wank reporting will somehow end hunger and bring about world peace? Seriously, you're worse than half the wankers that get reported on f_w proper.
CAPLOCK MOUSE
LOL DEFENSIVE
REASONABLE MOUSE
lol whut. What do I have to be defensive about? I'm not the OP, nor do I know who s/he is. NICE TRY THOUGH.
caitoLol.
END OF ACT π
