Eliza Dushku, Fab Filippo and Chris Thile: Big and Little Things
When the cab pulls up in front of a small bungalow, Chris turns to Fab. "I guess we're here, huh?" He squeezes Fab's hand and pays the cab, then steps out, smoothing his shirt down his chest. For a while the house looks empty and then Eliza steps out, barefoot in shorts and a t-shirt, looking ... non-pregnant. Well, maybe a little pregnant. Chris isn't really an expert on pregnancy detection and she's wearing a t-shirt that's obviously a guy's.
She shades her eyes and grins. "What're you guys waiting for? You gonna come in, or what?"
Fab lets go of Chris's arm and nearly bounds over to Eliza, barely catching himself about a foot away from his best friend. "Okay, let's take a look at you. Turn slowly." He'd be straight-faced if he could, but really, he's grinning too hard for that now.
"Asshole," she chuffs, but does what he asks, giving him a side-view and a front view. "I'm so fat," she whines as she touches her barely-bump. "But we heard the heartbeat," she said, looking over at her friend. "And everything's healthy. Pretty cool, huh? So you gonna hug me or what? It's not contagious."
Still smiling, Fab leans in to hug her tightly - carefully, but still. God, he's missed her. "You're not fat, bitch. And I know it's not catching - if anyone's having the gay babies around here, it's the boyfriend." Raising his eyebrows, Fab grins over Eliza's shoulder at Chris. "She's not scary anymore, I promise."
Geez! Way to embarrass him. Chris blushes scarlet and comes up, nearly scuffing his feet. "Congratulations," he offers, gesturing to her stomach. "That's... really good news."
"Thanks," Eliza replies, grinning, her arm still around Fab's neck. "Come on in. We can talk about ass babies."
Oh, god. Chris follows. She's still just as scary, just in a different way.
Fab rolls his eyes, bumping Eliza's shoulder with his own. "Stop traumatizing him. He's an innocent and pure young man." Which, really, strikes Fab as even funnier than ass babies, so he snickers and bites his lip.
Great. They've ganged up on him. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Chris looks around. Huh. Small house, seems pretty normal.
"Uh-huh. Then you haven't been doing your job, bitch. You guys want something to drink?" Eliza asks as she pads to the kitchen. "I have varieties of water and Channing's ass-tasting sports drink. What'll it be?"
"Water. So, when do I get to meet this father-of-your-unborn-child?" Leaning up against the wall, Fab grabs Chris's hand. He still doesn't get why Chris is nervous around Eliza, but he knows that he is, so hand-holding is kind of the least he can do.
Why?! Why?! It doesn't seem to matter that she's got a Little Person inside her, she still looks like she could pretzel Chris up and spin him around a la the Simpsons. Chris was raised to have a healthy and proper respect for women. He was never taught about women who were stronger than he is, which really, left him ill-prepared for about 75% of the female population. He holds Fab's hand gratefully. "Water, too," he adds.
"Dude!" Eliza pops her head out to grin at them, pride evident on his face. "No joke. NO fucking joke. Guess who he was cast as. You'll never guess!" she calls, having disappeared to pour waters. "GI fucking Joe. I kid you not. Your Godchild's daddy? Is GI Joe." She comes in with three glasses, handing them off, before sitting with her own, plopping down in a plush easy chair, leaving the sofa for the boys. "How awesome is that? Seriously! How awesome?"
Fab shakes his head and pulls Chris down onto the couch. He nearly spills his water in the process, but hey, Chris is half in his lap. He likes this tiny-sofa deal. "Damn. Looks like I'm going to have to get faggier to offset the he-man," he teases. "When do you find out whether it's a boy or a girl? I slept through this shit in high school, I knew I'd never need it."
"Don't know as you can get faggier, pansy-boy," Eliza shoots back. "Couple of weeks and we can find out." Eliza sits cross-legged in the chair, her water in one hand, the other on her stomach. Without being aware of it, she does that more often than not.
When Chris was young, he went to church every week and would pray before he went to sleep. It's since been discovered that he's a very kinky boy (there are some things he misses terribly. God). However, he still can't get used to what can only be called a rapport Fab and Eliza have. So he sits, half-on Fab's lap (not that he minds!) and sips his water, smiling politely. "Do you want a girl or a boy?"
With a laugh, Eliza shakes her head. "Me with a girl? No way. It needs to be a boy." Of this, she's sure and she just hopes whoever makes those decisions agrees.
"I bet you anything it'll be a girl." Fab holds up one finger to silence her, grinning widely. "One, because you've said that, and now you've jinxed it. God is a jinxy guy. Two, because you'd totally be the best girl-mother ever. You'd teach her how to kick boys in the crotch. World needs more girl-mothers like you."
Eliza throws her head back and laughs loudly. "Oh, shit! Oh, shit. That's totally what I'll do too. When she's like 2. 'Kick 'em in the crotch!'" Oh, shit, that's funny.
If Chris could, he'd cross his legs and makes a mental note for two years from now. Stay out of kicking range of Eliza's child. Plus the father is GI Joe? Help.
Catching Chris's wiggling, Fab leans over and kisses his cheek, whispering. "Don't worry babe, I'm the only one who gets to hurt you."
Cue wriggling of another kind and Chris deliberately makes himself go still as he looks at Eliza and smiles, taking another sip of water. "It's exciting."
"Yeah," Eliza says, with a soft smile, "Scary too. Oh, hey," that reminds her and the smile turns to a grin. "I was at Robert Downey Jr's house and met his hot girlfriend. I'm swinging with the A-crowd, now, baby. I'll try to squeeze you in, but no promises."
Fab snorts. "Aww, you know that 'that guy who once played the gay violinist on that gay show about gays' is much classier to be seen with than A-list actors, right?"
Snorting, she nods. "Yeah. That's what I'll tell them. Jackass."
"I really liked Chaplin," Chris notes, before he realizes how lame that sounds and blushes, taking another long drink of water. "And," he's quick to note to Fab with that light in his eyes. "The g-gay violinist."
That gets a grin, but Fab just sits back on the couch and says nothing.
"Hey," Eliza asks when the silence stretches on a beat or two too long. "How's the play going?"
"Slowly," Fab admits, scratching the back of his neck with his free hand. "I've tried to work on it, but, y'know, most of the time it's more interesting to go gossip with the tech guys or watch Chris practice."
"Oh yeah?" Eliza turns her gaze to Chris. "Tour going good?"
Chris nods. "Yeah. Really good. My fiddle player, Patrick? Is amazing. So it's really great."
"Yeah." And Fab really isn't going to say anymore - instead he focuses on keeping his jaw from clenching itself into knots. Three days break from tour. Just enjoy it.
Eyebrows up, Eliza watches this. There's something missing here, for sure, but Chris seems oblivious, which doesn't surprise her. "You should write more," she tells Fab.
"I know, I know." Deep breath. Forget about that shit for a while. "I will, really. Here, I'll write a book for the godkid, yeah? Fabrizio the children's author." Glad to be back on safer ground, he grins.
"Oh, shit!" She laughs. "Yeah, great. Don't terrorize my kid." Draining her water, she holds her glass out. "Hey, would you mind getting me more water?" She asks Chris. "I don't drink enough, the doc tells me. Did I mention, she looks like Captain Janeway? Dude... my life is crazy."
"Oh, uh, sure." Chris stands, looking back at Fab for a second before crossing to Eliza (out of kicking range) and taking her glass to the kitchen.
The minute he rounds the corner, she whisper-hisses. "What's going on? Make it quick."
Fab blinks. "...What?"
"He mentions his 'fiddle player' and you look like you've swallowed shit." But before he can answer, Chris has come back, handing her the water and taking his seat again, finding and holding Fab's hand.
"Uh," he asks, blinking between them. "Who's Captain Janeway?"
"Star Trek. Eliza's a closet geek." He shoots her a look. Fucking drop it.
Fuck you. You'll tell me what's going on, goddammit, she glares back. "I'm not a geek."
Wow. Okay. Star Trek sure can get people worked up. Chris nods slowly at the tension. "Is she... nice?"
"She's okay," Eliza answers, still staring at Fab.
Fine, bitch. But only because you didn't let me drink myself into complete oblivion last time I told you to drop something. He shrugs, as good an answer as any. Eliza'll know. "So, Eliza, thanks again for not getting upset about us not staying in the guest room, we'll be over all the time. Promise." See? Good topic change. Now instead of worrying about Patrick, Fab can watch it dawn on Chris's face that his boyfriend lied and that they are indeed going have some privacy.
And dawn it does. Not staying in Scary-Eliza's house with GI Joe? Chris can get behind that and he smiles, broadly. "Yes," is all he can think to say.
"You'd better. Alex is wanting to meet you too. And Channing," though Eliza keeps her laugh to herself. That guy who played the gay violin player? Really? Had more been his response. But he'd promised to behave. Mostly.
"Yeah, yeah. I mean, fucking my boyfriend into walls is all well and good, but I gotta let this guy know that while I may be short and scrawny, I can be vicious." He bares his teeth for emphasis. "Ask Chris." Okay, yeah, he's mean. But teasing Chris is so fun.
Oh God. Chris feels his cheeks flush in an instant.
Don't think you're getting away without talking to me, Bitch, is all Eliza's look says before she smiles at them both. "You still want to do dinner tonight? That Japanese place I was telling you about?"
"We're always up for Japanese food."
"Yes," Chris says again, knowing how he must appear, but helpless to fight it. Alone? Alone. Soon? Please. In fact... "Should we ... go?" He asks, looking back at Fab.
Amused, Fab squeezes Chris's knee. Maybe more his thigh, but hey, who's checking. "We'll meet you there at six?"
"Yeah. That works." Eliza gets to her feet, grinning.
With something akin to joy, Chris gets to his feet too, setting his glass down. "It'll be fun," he says, wondering who Alex is. Two guys? That's a bit excessive, isn't it? Especially when she's pregnant. But like Hell he's going to say that.
Fab leans in to kiss her cheek, whispering against it. "We'll talk later." But when he pulls back, he's all smiles.
Eliza smiles too and nods. "Be careful, boys," she says, as she walks them to the door. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." At this she pats her belly.
Well, that's not fair. Chris all but pouts before realizing he doesn't have to take her literally. "See you later," he says as he steps out.
Rolling his eyes, Fab pats Chris's ass and follows, blowing a kiss over his shoulder at Eliza. "See you at six, mom-to-be!"
"Bye-bye!" She trills, laughing. "Asshole." With a grin, she watches them walk away.
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