Russet Nooner

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 21:27:16 GMT

History: As ably documented by Caito and mocked by Fandom_Wank, a person named Lady Sybilla wrote (or claimed to have written) a sequel to Stephenie Meyer's Twilight novels. Originally, Lady Sybilla planned to publish and sell her novel, Russet Noon--which is a blatant violation of Ms. Meyer's copyright and thus quite illegal. After an absolutely staggering amount of bull-headed and arrogant cluelessness, Lady Sybilla finally backed off on her intentions to publish her story for profit. As of June 5, 2009, she has posted the first chapter of Russet Noon online.

LET THE SPORKING BEGIN!

Disclaimer: The characters and setting depicted in this story are the sole property of STEPHENIE MEYER. If Stephenie Meyer wants this work removed, I'll do so in a heartbeat.

Much of the actual text is plagiarized from Lady Sybilla, but since I am (a) crediting her, (b) not using the entire work, and (c) transforming the work, this use of her words is covered under Fair Use and thus is completely legal. Neener, neener.

Warning: The following story is pornographic and not suitable for anyone under the age of 18--and you're supposed to be 18+ if you're on JournalFen, so get your punk-ass out of here if you're not. The story uses coarse language and depicts sexual situations featuring homosexual and hetrosexual pairings. It is not terribly graphic, but it is quite crude.

Lady Sybilla's original words are in plain text. My alterations are in bold-face. No indication is given when text from the original story has been deleted.

RUSSET NOONER

Chapter 1 - Fireworks in Ma Tush

I'd been having the same dream for several days now. It was like a porn loop repeating endlessly in my head. Bouncing buttocks. Breathless depravity. Hot and greasy man-love.

The Elders of the Quileute Nation often warned us about this type of dream. They said you'd go blind, and that recurring dreams were not really dreams--they were mystical visions sent by our wolf ancestors, most likely to warn us about the impending danger of wanting to oil our chests and wander around in the trees with our shirts off.

Everyone else on the reservation was very secretive about whether they had such visions. We all talked about them, but no one ever admitted to having wet dreams for fear of being called a perv.

Quite a predicament I was in. If the dream kept repeating, I'd have to tell Sam. Sam Uley knew all the secrets of sexual release, but it would be hard to get him to trust me enough to reveal what he knew. His attitude had changed drastically the moment he found out I had imprinted on a vampire baby--I guess there's some things that are beyond the pale, even for the Quileute Nation's resident skank.

I caught Sam walking out of Emily's house just before nightfall. He was surprised when he opened the door and saw me standing next to his car, but he calmly finished buttoning his shirt and ran a hand through his bed-tousled hair.

"Hey, Sam," I mumbled under my breath, barely looking at him. I knew Sam was a sucker for submissives.

Sam advanced slowly in my direction. "What's up?"

"We need to talk." I made my voice sound sexy, but it wasn't necessary. Sam knew what was going on. It's like he'd been expecting me all along.

He stared at me, then glanced over his shoulder at Emily's bedroom window. "Not here." He opened the door to his car.

I stood mesmerized for a moment. I was going to get laid! I glanced at Sam's biceps, then let my gaze slide down his strong legs. Mm-mmm. Looking at Sam always had a way of getting me sidetracked. He was a masterpiece.

Don't get me wrong--I'm pretty hot myself, but I envied the tattoo of a thunderbird he'd had custom-done on his chest. In Quileute legends, the thunderbird was a mythical creature known for protecting our people in times of trouble. Sam's was turquoise in color, and its wings spread out to the sides. A bit flashy, I know, but I wished I'd thought of that before he did.

Sam must have noticed I was drooling, because he knew just what to say. "Wanna go for a spin?"

My entire body shook with anticipation, but I kept the shy, submissive act going. "Me?"

"See anyone else around?" he asked, sliding over to the passenger seat.

He didn't have to tell me twice. The moment he tossed me the keys, I caught them in midair and jumped in. I popped the clutch, revved up the engine, and the car took off in a blaze of speed.

The sex lured me like a magnet; it seduced me. I contemplated the possibility of getting anal tonight and felt ecstatic. Gambling with my reputation was the thrill of my existence. I knew it was disgraceful, but I felt most alive when slutty men stalked me.

Sam hadn't said a word since we got in the car. I figured I'd let him talk first, but he just sat there, blasting some bizarre music. It was one of the weirdest hybrids I'd ever heard—thrash metal meets alternative Goth with a little bit of rap vocals thrown in. Not my style at all, but it suited the smouldering sexual tension between us.

"Sam!" I finally yelled.

He turned off the stereo and turned to face me.

"There's something I need to tell you."

"It's the girl, isn't it?"

"What? No, Edward gave Renesmee a fucking purity ring. You've got no competition on that front for a long while."

"No, Jacob. The girl haunting your dreams."

He knew about it, alright. Just like I'd suspected. A new suspicion burst into my brain, and I flashed a glance at him. "You've seen her, too, haven't you?"

He smirked. "Maybe. Does she wear the nipple clamps in your dreams too?"

I grinned. "And a strap-on."

"Pull over." He was hot already.

I slowed down and pulled over to the shoulder nearest the beach. I opened the door, got out, and felt the cool ocean breeze on my face. My blood raced.

The crescent moon hung low above the water, diffusing a silver glow through the fog. Perfect night for Sam and me to fuck, I thought. We hadn't had much action lately, but things weren't going to stay quiet for much longer.

I hadn't walked more than a few yards when I suddenly heard Sam's fly unzip behind me.

"She's a vampire," he said.

A bit startled, I turned around to find him standing just a couple of feet from me with his russet manhood unsheathed.

I flinched backwards in reflex and almost lost my balance, but I recovered quickly, inflamed by the sudden urge to hump the crap out of him. I steadied myself by throwing my upper body forward, growling low in my throat, ready to tear his clothes off.

Sam ignored my reaction with cold indifference. "She's not the kind of vampire we're used to. She's a hybrid, part vampire and part something else. Very kinky." I sensed a subtle vacillation in his voice, and it made me realize he was horny as hell, just like me.

"You mean like Renesmee?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Renesmee is half human. But this girl," he paused, swallowing hard. "This girl is not human at all. She never was. Fuck, that's so hot, I could cream right here."

"Well, what is she mixed with then?" I asked impatiently. Damn, how I hated foreplay.

"I don't know what her other half is," Sam answered with a leer, "but I intend to investigate the matter with my most sensitive instrument." His expression weakened, and he lifted one hand to mop his brow. "We need to find out what she wants from us," he said, a tinge of urgency in his voice, "'cause baby, I mean to give it to her. Twice."

My voice grew husky. "Okay, so what do we do? She's a dream-girl; how do we...invoke her?"

He didn't hesitate. "We go to the Spirit Warriors."

I almost went mute from the shock. My erection had been premature; it now crumbled.

But my bewilderment only seemed to strengthen his determination. "Listen, Jake. There are a lot of things the elders don't tell you until you're ready."

"If you're suggesting that we do spirit traveling, you are seriously delusional, man. There's no lube on the astral plane."

"It's the only way to find out what the girl wants to do to us," Sam continued unaffected by my resistance. "We have to go up to the mountains, just like our ancestors did—"

I didn't let him go on. "It's forbidden," I declared firmly.

The practice of spirit traveling had been banned by our ancestors because it was extremely dangerous. It involved resting one's body in a secret place in the forest and then letting the spirit travel alone without it. Taha Aki, the last of the Quileute Spirit Warriors, had prohibited this practice after his body was, ahem, made use of while his spirit was away traveling.

Sam interrupted my thoughts. "This inhuman creature, this monster, is infiltrating our dreams, Jake. Do you honestly think it's a coincidence that you and I are having the same dream?" He waggled his eyebrows lecherously. "Menage a trois with a kinky vampire bitch, my boy. You know it's worth the risk."

My defenses weakened the more he insisted. As absurd as his logic sounded, I had to admit, if only to myself, that Sam had a point. If the hybrid had found access to our dreams, she must want us bad. "Are you saying she's a spirit warrior, too?"

"She's more of a sorcerer. She conjures up incubi from the Underworld and manipulates their energy." Sam knew just the right bait to set for me; he leered again. "She's got better toys than just that strap-on, Jake."

I wasn't entirely convinced. "It's too risky. I mean, hooking up with strangers is always dangerous, and this spirit girl could be a complete freak. What if it's a trap? She could be setting us up to leave our bodies behind so she can molest them."

"We're doing it to protect our people, Jake." He lifted his head nobly. "If not us, she'll bang some other poor boy and scar him for life. You and I can take it like pros."

"Does Emily know about this plan of yours?"

Sam's features changed instantly, making me realize I'd just dealt him a low blow. His dominant instincts took over, and I could see the retaliation taking shape in his pants. Excitement jumped in my gut, so I averted my eyes, hoping he'd punish me. Whatever he was about to do, I'd take it like a man.

He took a few deep breaths and then spoke in a calm tone. "I'm gonna do it with you. Tell the elders if you want, but I'm still gonna do it, and you won't be able to stop me."

I knew he meant it. There was no point in raising objections. I undid my pants and slid them to my ankles, then got down on my hands and knees in the damp sand.

The warm length of Sam's russet manhood invaded me. I cried out in pleasure and we began to buck and cavort together, our passion galloping us around on the sand.

I was about to bombard him with pleas to go faster when a faint stir in the bushes forced us both to go silent. Sam and I reacted briskly, schlumping our connected bodies over to a less exposed place. We tried to finish in a hurry, but perhaps our interrupter was a voyeur, because by the time we came, everything was perfectly still again.

I looked at Sam, and he pressed his index finger to his lips. As we both kneeled there, trying not to make a sound, I picked up on an unusual scent. I could tell by the look on Sam's face that he had detected it, too, but he didn't say a word about it.

Before I could figure out what was going on, a sudden explosion of sensations hit me, striking me with such intensity that I got dizzy and my erection returned.

Hey, I'm young; I can go all night.

Sam uncorked himself from me and rushed to my side when he saw that I was about to lose consciousness. "Stop all your thoughts," he whispered in my ear.

I managed to speak in spurts. "What's . . . hap . . . pening to . . . me?"

"She's boinking you on the Astral Plane. Don't allow yourself to think and you'll be fine."

I could understand what he was saying, but I couldn't react anymore. My body shook involuntarily as the beach seemed to spin in circles around me. My body felt like a stormy sea of sensations, and emotions collided against one another. I had never experienced such pleasure in my life.

"Jake, look at me." Sam grabbed my face and forced my eyelids open. "I have to know. Is it as good as we hoped?" His grin was maniacal.

Everything slowed down. He may as well have been speaking a different language. I was losing control of my body and perhaps even my free will. I felt myself falling fast into ecstasy with an overwhelming sense of helplessness, very similar to drowning.

"Stop jizzing on my hand!" Sam's voice commanded.

I tried to follow his advice but failed miserably every time. If there was a way to stop myself from coming, I didn't know how to do it, so I stopped trying and let go, a little worried about dehydration. Before I knew it, a dark shadow engulfed me and I was out.

The very last thing I saw before I lost consciousness was my attacker. She was the vivid image of death, a young girl, about fifteen or less, with ashen skin and shiny black hair.

Around her neck hung a talisman that I recognized from Stephanie Lostimolo's 1999 entry into a Michael Whelan fan art competition.

I'm not sure how long I was out, but I later realized that I had at least one hour unaccounted for. The first thing I remember hearing as I recovered my awareness was a lot of random panting and moaning. Right before I opened my eyes, I felt an uncomfortable pressure.

"Sam?"

"Unh, unh. Almost done, Jake. Shit, you look so hot when you're unconscious. Fake it for me a minute, would you?"

I dutifully played dead until Sam finally squealed and went limp on top of me.

"Sam, you are such a whore," a familiar female voice said.

I immediately opened my eyes and I couldn't believe it. Sitting next to me, with a blood pressure cuff in her hand, was Leah Clearwater.

"Leah! I didn't know you liked to watch." I gave her a bear hug as soon as Sam dragged himself off my back.

She protested and pushed me aside, pretending to be annoyed, but I knew her too well. We'd grown up together, so I could tell she was just as excited to see me ass-boinked as I was.

"When did you get here?" I smiled widely, wondering what I was doing on her brother Seth's bed. I decided that if she had a kink for voyeurism, then she probably already knew how many good times I'd had on Seth's bedsprings.

"Last night." She blushed and returned my smile as she velcroed the blood pressure cuff around my arm and began pumping air into it to tighten it again.

"I'm fine, Leah." I really did feel incredibly fine, maybe just a tad dizzy and a bit sore in one particular location, but I let her check my vitals anyway just to make her feel horny. Always a good move when dealing with females.

She snorted. "Well, obviously. I almost had to dump a bucket of cold water on you two." She laughed it off and went to get a thermometer out of her bag. "I still have to take your temperature, so spread those cheeks again."

"But, wait." I suddenly remembered. "How did I wind up here?"

"Embry helped Sam carry you in here," Leah explained.

"Embry was here, too?"

She nodded, turning away when I said Embry's name. I noticed the shy smile she was trying to hide. "Yes, but there's no need to thank him. He, uh, also made free with your ‘gratitude'."

No wonder I was sore.

Leah raised one eyebrow at me. "What happened tonight, Jake?"

"You tell me."

"No, I mean before you blacked out."

I paused, trying to remember. And then it hit me. The bloodsucker had Astral-humped me on the beach. I sprung up from the bed and frantically searched my pockets for my cell phone.

"Here," Leah said, handing it to me. "It fell out when they took your pants off."

"Thanks." I powered it back on.

I had three missed calls, all of them from Bella. Bella was Renesmee's mom and also my future mother-in-law--if I played my cards right.

"Bella's been trying to call me. Sorry, Leah, I have t--"

"Jacob Black, are you hiding something from me?" She looked me straight in the eye, a half smile forming on her lips.

I glanced at my cell and nodded, this time walking towards the door. Hopefully she'd get the urgency of the situation. I intended to marry Renesmee someday, but given my long-standing crush on Bella, I planned to engineer some hot mother-daughter action too.

Standing outside on the porch, I dialed Sam's number first, because I'm a gentleman that way--you always call, no matter how casual the hook-up. Besides, Sam had only been here a minute ago, but had left without, ahem, finishing me.

"Sam," I hissed. "Call me as soon as you get this. Bye." He'd know what I was talking about.

Now, here I was in Sara Clearwater's house, alone and at Leah's mercy. Not even Seth was home. He'd probably left with Sam and Embry. Everyone on the rez knew Leah was a force to be reckoned with if she got horny, and she had just watched two, possibly three, hot guys have their way with me.

Sighing, I dialed Bella's number. It was past eleven already. Edward minds me calling his wife this late at night, but if Mr. Blue-Balls can't service his lady, then he shouldn't complain about her getting a little phone-sex from an old high school friend. Poor Bella; they were vampires, so they didn't have to sleep at all, but there was one part of Edward that seemed to never be as hard as marble.

"Hello?" Bella's voice sounded uptight. Something was up, but it wasn't Edward.

"Hey, Bella."

Her voice purred with anticipation. "Jake, I need to talk to you."

"Bells, I don't mean to be rude, but it's been a really long night and I'm exhausted."

She chuckled. "Fine."

"It's nothing urgent?"

Bella had to leave me hanging. "We'll talk tomorrow, okay? I gotta go." She hung up before I could ask her anything else.

Suspicion leapt inside my heart. Judging by the way Bella had just spoken to me, it sounded like she was trying to hide something. Had she found someone else to satisfy her lust? But who was it? Surely it couldn't be Edward.

The way things were going, my chances of getting a good night's sleep were slim to none, so I figured I may as well have sex with Leah and get it over with.

Instead of tying me down on the kitchen table to have a normal shag like I'd suggested, she insisted on driving us up to the rain forest for a midnight boink.

"There's something up here I want to show you," she explained as she led me up a steep trail.

"Let me guess," I interjected. "You haven't fucked in a long time and you can't wait to do it again."

In a flash, her expression changed from laid-back nonchalance to utter panic. She shook her head frantically and stopped walking. "There will be no fucking tonight, Jake."

Now this last one really threw me off. "No fucking? What do you mean, no fucking? I thought you were going to rape-play me."

"That's not what we're here for." She resumed her climb up the trail.

I rolled my eyes, following her reluctantly. What was the point, if we weren't going to shag?

We continued advancing deep into the rain forest, veering off the trail until we arrived at an area dense with mossy trees. Leah kept silent the whole time, her eyebrows knitted like she was pondering how to arrange a particularly complex arrangement of erotic restraints.

Leah finally dropped the bomb on me. "Jake, you should be happy you're still alive. You survived a major psychic assault tonight."

I blushed. "So . . . Sam told you everything, then?"

"Not everything, but I'm pretty familiar with the symptoms of Astral humpings. The hybrid used your own desires against you."

I sighed in frustration. "And what does this have to do with us fucking?"

A sarcastic chuckle escaped her lips. "Isn't it obvious, Jake? What do you think would've happened if she had attacked you while we were all werewolves and were--you know--doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel?"

Leah was right, of course. The attack would have overwhelmed us all at once. The leech wanted to gang-bang my entire pack! That's why she had infiltrated the mind of me, the Alpha.

"Okay, I get it now," I declared.

I sighed in frustration. Finally, I decided I didn't care; I still wasn't satisfied, and Leah had something up her skirt I wanted. I set out to corner her against a tree, and gave her my most lecherous smile as I slid my hand between her legs. "Why don't I drive all the way up here and see if I find any pesky vampires?"

Leah's eyes glazed with lust. She dropped to her knees and was about to open her mouth, when a male voice called out.

"Don't start without us!"

Recognizing Sam's voice, I spun around. Just a few yards from us, Sam, Embry and Seth emerged from behind the trees, each of them stark naked and grinning.

"What are you guys doing here?" I wasn't sure whether I should be mad or thankful for the surprise rendezvous they'd planned without my consent.

"There's someone you need to meet," Sam announced, then, turning to Leah, he said, "Lead the way."

"Whoa, wait a second. Where are we going?"

"Let's get moving," Leah said. "We're still quite a ways away."

"From where?"

"The Blindfolded Hermit's house," Seth replied and gave me a nudge and a wink. "C'mon, Jake. Nobody knows more about the weird stuff than this guy."

Leah seemed to be the best informed. "He's a monk from Spain. He fled from Europe hundreds of years ago to escape a death sentence after he taught a nobleman's daughter how to fist."

Seth explained, "Leah and I used to come up here to spy on him when we were younger. Let's just say this guy is--" He waggled his eyebrows lecherously. "--at one with nature. Especially the deer. Although he was pretty thrilled to entertain a pair of randy werewolves too."

Leah flashed a half smile. "Embry came up here with us once, but the hermit wasn't home that day. We managed to entertain ourselves regardless."

I couldn't take the curiosity any longer. "One at a time, or both guys at once?"

"Focus, Jake," said Leah. "We need The Blindfold."

"Huh?"

"The Blindfold of Un-Blindness," Sam answered. "It's an obvious plot contrivance that protects the wearer from Astral humpings."

Leah wrapped her arm around my back, gently encouraging me onward. "We need that blindfold to protect the pack."

Sam added, "They say it opens the eyes of the soul and it lets you see things that human eyes cannot perceive. It can also cure herpes."

Nodding in agreement, Leah continued. "It helps you dodge psychic attacks. It lets you see them coming before they hit you."

As farfetched as their story sounded, it seemed to be our only hope to fend off the hybrid's lechery. And, for that reason alone, I decided it was worth a try. There was nothing I wanted more right now than to nail the leech once and for all, preferably after some oral foreplay, but I had to protect my pack.

A blanket of haze descended upon the forest as we approached the hermit's house. The place wasn't even a house like I'd imagined. It was just the abandoned remains of an old stone building, grey and dilapidated with a thick layer of moss all over it.

I nodded with visible impatience. "Okay. Here goes nothing." I inhaled deeply and made a dash for the ruins.

The first sight of the hermit filled me with guilt. How miserable he must be, all alone in this cold, humid forest with no one to talk to or fondle. He looked so fetching, lying there on the cracked floor, wearing a woman's negligee.

I stood there motionless, just staring at him and feeling extremely turned on. Who was I to deprive this wretch of oily, grunting man-love? I dove forward.

After a lot of commotion and misunderstandings, the hermit started screaming in pleasure, flailing his arms wildly in the air. It was clear that he was unable to see, but I was sure he could feel the heat and smell me.

"Jake, the blindfold!" Leah called out, her pupils dilated as she watched us cavort on the dirty floor.

Acting on impulse, I snatched the blindfold from the hermit. What I saw when I uncovered his eyes gave me the shock of a lifetime. It shook me to the very core.

The area below his forehead and all around his eyes was completely disfigured by gnarly scars. There were so many they looked like tree branches entangled with one another. I could barely see what was left of his eyes through all the scar tissue. He had no pupils, only a grayish white film covering the front part of his eyes.

It was a hideous sight, revolting to behold, and yet I couldn't bring myself to stop pumping him like a champion. Before I knew it, Sam and the boys were dragging me away. I could still hear the hermit moaning at the top of his lungs.

I wrenched the others to a halt. "We can't leave him there alone. It's not gentlemanly to screw-and-scram."

Turning around, I went back to the ruins and found the hermit. He was about to collapse from pleasure, so I scooped him up and carried him out.

"My bum! Please have my bum!" he pleaded in a thick Spaniard accent.

The moment I put him down on the ground, Seth and Leah came over to mount him. As Leah checked his pulse, Seth offered him some water from a bottle to help him stop gasping.

By the time we emerged from the hermit, the sun had started to come out. A great peace came over me when I saw Leah and Seth cuddling with the hermit like he was an old friend. We had found an ally, alright. And not just any ally, but a fuck-buddy, of all things.

I bowed in gratitude and took his hand to help him up.

Goblin: Just Another Internet Asshole

Russet Nooner