| Right then. |
[17 Mar 2005|11:51am] |
|
Happy late Bithday to me, or something of that sort, hmm? I think at this point in your life your birth date is just like every other day except that it marks something. As you get older, the marks just get less colourful.
The Hall of Fame was interesting, as always. I'd forgotten how much I like Bruce. And it's funny to think he's been around longer than us.
It's nice to be back home, even if only for a few days. Vancouver's an amazing city and it's a bit frightening to think about how close the opening date is. Don't let them hate us, please don't let them hate us.
Gavin, I've bought food for dinner. Not sure when you're going to be home so you're welcome to start it. Or I will when I get back.
I think I need to sit and have a talk with my mam. Apparently I understand much less about many things than I thought I did.
|
|
|
[27 Feb 2005|03:33pm] |
|
Is it that complicated?
Am I asking the stars to align and then all float into my pocket?
Goddamn her and her honesty.
Goddamn it.
You wouldn't believe who I ate lunch with today.
Fucking shit.
|
|
| Bloody Hell. |
[19 Feb 2005|12:00pm] |
When did I get so damn boring?
I was peeling potatoes this morning (Yes! Peeling!) when I realized that I'm a middle aged rock star able to do whatever I please. And what am I doing? Peeling a vegetable with too many eyeballs.
You need a far greater assortment of colour in your wardrobe so I'm going shopping this afternoon. We also need new sheets for the guest bedroom because those fuscia things must go.
I've also got to find a nice suit. Bloody fuck. Anyone have suggestions on what goes with dark green?
|
|
| Nothing of the mind. |
[09 Feb 2005|05:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
quiet |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The waves |
] |
[private]
I'm torn.
Honestly split into pieces that I don't quite understand. It's been over a decade since I felt loved. And here I sit, a solid brick wall between two people I honestly feel for. I love Gavin, I guess I always have. How could I not? The emotion, the sheer thought which was at one time terrifing, is sometihng I've come to live off of now. Now. In these past few weeks. Since he's come back and I've gone back and we both fell into the little void that was 'us'.
And yet there's Cate. Cate. Jesus, I'm hurting her, I know that I am, but Gavin is perpetual in my life and I can't stop that. I wonder if I ought to let her go, tell her to leave me and find something that could honestly satisfy her. I don't know if that would hurt less, though, even if I know it would be better for her. In the end I'm a disappointment. History isn't wrong, but it does repeat itself. Even with everything I want with Gavin, everything I feel for him, I can't look at him and truthfully say I wouldn't miss Cate.
Selfish and a bastard, but at least an honest one. It's all....different. Unknown to me. A feeling, a notion, a world I gave up on years and years ago. That I drank and fucked and needled away.
I'm afraid he's going to leave. He's going to find something better, someone that's less bullshit than I am. He used to be able to smell that kind of fear on me. Use it to teach me a lesson by bringing some other boy in or keeping a girl in his bed over night. It's different now, though. I still see that anger in his eyes but it's clouded with his own fear now.
I hurt him. And I've done it again.
And Goddamn it, but all I want to do is sleep on his chest.
|
|
| This is definitely a new feeling. |
[22 Jan 2005|05:02pm] |
[public]
What on earth have I gotten myself into? Again.
Cate? You're coming by here soon, correct? Gavin's out with Maurice for the afternoon, or the time being anyway, and I thought I'd make lunch. If you haven't made any other plans, obviously.
|
|
| Home is where the heart is. |
[03 Jan 2005|02:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
getting settled |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Prince, actually-Who put this in? |
] |
That has become the simple truth.
It's very strange, to see the reports on the news, and thing I was there, not so long ago. I feel like such a child, though, honestly. In comparison, I was generally safe and still freaked the fuck out and flew myself home as quickly as possible.
Home. With Cate. And now Bono. On the island that doesn't threaten to shake or crack.
Though I have realized something. That no matter what I've seen, been throughm or heard about between now and when I was 11 years old, I will always, always, be scared as fuck when Mother Nature decides to declare war on me.
|
|
| Well bloody fuck. |
[20 Dec 2004|12:49pm] |
I realized I'm utterly behind in....everything.
How is this possible exaclty? Literally, right now, I've nothing better to do than keep myself busy. And do? Of course not.
I didn't realise it's only a week til Christmas and that means I've got 5 days to get myself back in Ireland. I've also got to pick up the last of gifts between now and then.
Oh, though tour dates are officially sorted and set in place. Thatm is an utterly amazing feeling. It'll only be a few months before we back on stage again and for the first time, in a good while, I think we're all itching to be there again.
Paul's hinting, rather obviously, at more promos in the beginning of January. Ha, anyone else vote for opening the tour in K-Mart again?
I still can't look at chips properly. That's completely your fault.
|
|
| Vogue. |
[04 Dec 2004|11:27pm] |
|
Well that was a lovely surprise.
I think the 60's gold bathing suit was my favourite.
Would you care to explain that one?
Remind me not to let you near my wardrobe.
|
|
| Christ, but it's nice to be home. |
[26 Nov 2004|01:01pm] |
|
[public to all]
Being gone, moving so much, I get used to it. But fuck, is it nice to park my own car and fall asleep in my own bed.
New York was crazy. New York is always crazy. The people were incredibly though. We're all itching for a tour again. I know Bono's blood has already started to run with it.
SNL continues to be interesting. This would be our third appearance. Bono, did you have to give the girl a lapdance? And I'm wondering when Larry decided to join the nudest coloney.
Either way, sight-seeing must be had again today. Think you're up for it Cate? I've yet to take you by the docks, and River Liffey, and we should have dinner at the Clarence.
Bono, are you coming by tonight? Come by tonight.
|
|
| This isn't very rockstar of me. |
[21 Nov 2004|10:02pm] |
[private post. visible to none.]
But I've been smiling a hell of a lot more lately.
|
|
| Arrived at last. |
[08 Nov 2004|06:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
content, for the moment |
] |
I am now seated in London, or should I say we. I'm not so sure I want to see the hell that this week will bring, but it'll be over soon enough.
The album's just been leaked, and not a single song this time, but the entire album. Larry's nonchalant, Bono's having a fit and Edge couldn't feel worse. Sometimes it's nice working with people who will cover all the bases so that you don't have to do anything but stand aside and what the unfolding.
I continue to worry about the album's actual release, but...that will come later.
And I've noticed quite a bit of discussion about marriage going around. I really can't decide feelings toward any certain person or couple, not yet anyway, but I thought...well, isn't the whole concept of marriage supposed to be one that brings people together? It seems to be doing a good bit of the opposite at the moment.
Though marriage is something I always had a different take on, just like religion.
And...it's raining. Shocking isn't it? I fucking hate British rain.
|
|
| God help me. |
[17 Oct 2004|09:31pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Surreal Life |
] |
This has to be the worst program ever to appear on the telly. It's so horrid that I can't not look at it. Who produces this crap?
Holy...
Charo has to be out of her mind. She's got ot be fucking nuts.
This is hilarious.
|
|
| That's always interesting. |
[17 Oct 2004|07:00pm] |
|
The performance for 'Top of the Pop' went far better than I had expected.
I think the new songs are going to sound frucking brill live and the fans seemed to take to them. And there were quite a few more people there than I had expected. Though the majority of them seemed to be a bit miffed as to why Larry wore a suit through the entire performance.
Oh, and it gave me a reason to buy a new guitar. So I bought two.
|
|
|
[14 Oct 2004|08:16pm] |
|
We've got a bloody iTunes! commercial now. If that's not a bit 21st century I'm not sure what is.
I'm a bit proud of it though, simply because it looks amazing. Bono phoned today, letting me know we had a month and 6 days until album release, and did I know about the interview he's got coming up with Rolling Stone and when would I be home?
Rockstardum is an odd thing. It's incredibly free and completely confining all at once. I also realized today that had the four of us not gotten together, Larry would be the only one still playing drums to this day and I would be the only one with no real existence.
Odd.
|
|
| Due to randon; read at your own risk. |
[07 Oct 2004|05:57pm] |
|
Has anyone ever noticed that if you tilt glass against the window just right, you can catch every colour in a small space?
The sun's beautiful here, I didn't know how much I missed stretching out beneath natural heat. Falling asleep there.
I believe a trip to Jamica is soon coming. After London of course.
I think I'm going to redecorate Reg's home while I'm here. Honestly. The man couldn't be anymore A-typical plain, expensive boy.
Have I taught him nothing?
Oh fucking...christ...what am I to get Larry for his birthday? Anyone up for pointless shopping 'round LA?
|
|
|
[03 Oct 2004|04:02pm] |
|
Oh.
Boy.
Am I ever going to get myself into trouble.
|
|
|
[02 Oct 2004|02:23pm] |
|
I've just bought my tickets for London. Gavin and Guggi have the exhibit later this month and I almost completely forgot that I can to attend.
But it also remins me that this will be the first time I've seen him since....the first time we'll be in public when I'm not his....and he's not my...
God.
|
|
| I've got to say, I enjoy the sun. |
[30 Sep 2004|08:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
content |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Johnny Cash |
] |
Los Angles always proves itself when I'm in the need for sun and flesh. It's a bit nice to be here away from work so that I can actually settle and enjoy myself a bit.
Though I think my mobile is going to be thrown into the ocean if Bono leaves another bloody message on it. It's a wonder he's actually remained married this long. If I were Ali, he'd have been smothered too long ago.
And there is a reason that you pay to have someone drive you around when you afford it. Christ, but it's odd driving on the wrong side. Why do people here call it the 'right'?
|
|