|
|
Tuesday, September 4th, 2007
| |
8:40 pm - A work day that will live in INFAMY. Or something.
|
|
| Thursday, August 30th, 2007
| |
10:56 pm - So, I turn on the radio, and what do I hear?
|
A rock song simply titled
"Alcohol and Ass."
I rarely get to say this IRL, but...
I fucking LOL'd.
current mood: *sporfle!*
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, August 21st, 2007
| |
10:54 pm - Back to FFXII
|
Balthier: Our
standard Final Fantasy issue "Pretty Boy of Mysterious Mystery". The
required barely legal-looking character that's been written into the
contract Squeenix drafted for all current and future Final Fantasy
games. The most current graduate of the Vincent Valentine School for
Gunslinging Males.
Balthier's Last Report Card
Gunplay 399: Shooting with Style- A
Independent Study: Managing your High-Maintenance Airship- A
Emo (Thesis): Autobiographical Angst-filled Secret Pasts- B+ (Would've been an "A" if he was able to convey Vincent-level sulking.)
Communication 239: Partners & Witty Banter- A
As you can see, Balthier seems normal. (For a Squeenix character, at
least.) But just like his gun-toting ancestors in games of old: Chappu
(from FFX), ??? (FF9), Irvine (FF8), and Vincent (FF7), Balthier's
hiding a little something. *side eye glance* A secret.
He's Justin
Timberlake's clone, taken from a sample dated in the
late-nineties/early 2000, and computerized. Seriously. Go google a
picture of him. Go on, I'll wait.
.....You see? Granted, from the trendy (for Ivalice, I guess) shoes, to
the tailored clothing to the matching gun & accessories, Balthier
just seems like the average proto-metrosexual. But look at his hair.
His highlighted and slightly curled hair. Who
used to have hair like that? That's right. I'm just waiting for
Balthier to start singing "Bye bye bye..." and doing the song's
choreography at the end of a boss battle. *Side note: "Dick in a box"
just came on my iTunes. Now I can see Balthier with a box,
sexually-harassing Fran, Basch, Ashe, & Penelo while Vaan looks
down and goes: "It's in a box" in
an awed voice. *Side Note 2-Electric Boogaloo: Enjoying that mental
image makes me one step closer to going to Special Hell, doesn't it?
Also, Balthier is a mutant. Or an alien. Because no human could wear tight black leather pants in deserts and
snowstorms and be unaffected by the elements. Think about wearing
blizzard-chilled leather as you walk down a damn mountain. Or clinging
to every inch of your body in the desert. The hotdesert. As you run,
shoot, and kill things with the sweat sparkling on your skin and...
*stops to think about the leather pants*
I'm going to the Special Hell.
*Final Side Note- The secrets of the other gun-users:
Chappu- Cheating on Lulu with Luzzu . Proof: Several characters state
that Chappu would propose to Lulu when his team won the championships.
The Auroch's are like the equivalent of the Washington Redskins. It's
like a natural law of the universe that teams like that suck for all
eternity. It's like rumor of Brad Pitt saying he wouldn't marry
Angelina until Bush passed better laws. Lulu had better odds of
hooking up with Sin, than with Chappu.
Irvine: Secret love child of Sorceress Adel. Check the FMV that shows
her face. Either Irvine can be in 2 places at once while dressed as a
cowboy & as a heavily made-up Hot Topic Drag Queen or those two are
related. (And my theory still isn't as cracked out as the "Rinoa is
Ultimecia" one.)
Vincent: Addicted to sun-screen. Was the basis for the Very Special
Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law episode about the same thing. They just
changed the details so that Vincent couldn't sue for royalties.
???- Silly rabbit. This and his gun character don't exist.
current mood: Caffeinated
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Monday, August 20th, 2007
| |
11:57 pm - *staggers in*
|
*clang* "Bring out yer dead! *clang* "Bring out yer dead! *clang*
*struggles up* I'm...not...dead yet!
Actually, work's been hectic, and I finally got a hands a copy of The Watchmen (w00t!)
So in conclusion, not dead. Just very busy. And very geeky. Oooh, Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law! Too bad there'll never be an episode where the Phoenix Wright casts crosses over into the HB:AaL universe. 'Cause that would've rocked.
current mood: Fantastico
current music: Whoooo is the man in the suit?
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Monday, August 13th, 2007
| |
10:44 pm - This Week's "Secret Shame Purchase"
|
*eyes her copy of the new Maroon 5 CD*
...My taste in music is a dirty, dirty whore. And Adam Levine's vocal pimp-hand is Strong.
*pops in CD, cranks it up to 11*
Hey, Dirty. Baby, I got your money...
current mood: Bitch Slapped
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Saturday, August 11th, 2007
| |
12:17 pm - Final Fantasy 12 Overview
|
As I've been playing through the game, my mind keeps up a running commentary like I've trapped it on a discount version of the Satellite of Love. It's either write it out, or let it fester in my head like a freeloading Paris Hilton. First up on the chopping block will be the characters on the cover.
Note: If you're one of the 5 people left like me that are still on their first playthrough of FF12, heads up. These may end up spoiler-tastic in later entries, and I just want to warn for it way in advance.
Vaan: Our main(?) character. Vaan is a bleached-blond disciple of the Hanson band's "Pretty like a girl, but has a penis" school of appearance. Seriously. Check the game's cover. There are three blond people on it, and if you look at just their faces, only one of them can be readily identified as male. Vaan is not that one. Penelo seems more butch than Vaan, and she's rocking pigtails and a bodysuit. Due to their "wank first, ask questions later" mentality, Vaan has made so many male gamers question their sexuality, that he's almost a shoe-in to become the heir apparent to the "Bridget makes you gay" meme. And now that I've said that, Rule 34 will kick in, & hardcore Bridget x Vaan x Roger scans will spontaneously poof into existence. And now that I've said that, I'm switching topics before any mental images can burn themselves into me head and traumatize me.
Ashe: The required "Your princess is in another castle" character. (Well, not so much as in another castle. It's more like, "Your princess is in your party as a playable character".) She is also the required "Who the hell wears <i>that</i> into battle?!" character, as the length of her pink miniskirt rivals the width of most belts. Add to that the fact that the game sports a fully rotate-able camera, and you have a character that's constantly in danger of being caught in a upskirt trap. At the rate this game is going, I'm starting to expect Chris Hansen to waltz into my room one day while I'm playing. With my luck, it'd be during a Hunt that's gone horribly wrong, with my HP, MP, and items running low:
Chris: "Hi. I'm Chris Hansen. What are you doing here, Alastor?"
Me: *button mashing like whoa* "Trying to survive this battle!"
Chris: "Why are you doing this?"
Me: *uses last either* Because I want to <i>live</i>. And I really need the gil from this mark to buy shiny new weapons.
Chris: "Is this your 'Boy on Boy on Teddy Bear' crossover doujin manga?"
Me: "What?" *game pause* "Gah! No!" *commence scrubbing of eyes* What the hell?! Oh my God, I'm never going into a Build-A-Bear again. Chris Hansen has tainted my pure love of cute and fluffy toys."
Chris: "Don't you go by the username 'alastorsnaughtybadfuntime'?"
Me: *still traumatized* "Dude. NO."
Chris: "Damn. We must be in the wrong house." *mutters* "'It's Sweeps Week, Chris!' they said. 'Go on a To Catch a Predator road trip.' they said. 'You can't stay in that kitchen forever!' they said. I'm getting to old for this shi-"
Me: "Hold on a second, Sparky. Let's back this train up. Exactly how did you come across Guilty Gear x Final Fantasy 12 yaoi?"
Chris: "..."
Me: "..."
Chris: "..."
Me: "Holy crap, Chris Hansen is /b/tard!" *flees*
Chris: *shouts after retreating form* "I did it for the LULZ!"
That's how disturbingly short Ashe's skirt is. It makes people spin-off into poorly thought out drabbles by just thinking about it.
current mood: Navel-Gazing
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Friday, August 10th, 2007
| |
6:29 pm - *starts clearing out the cobwebs*
|
As it looks like Livejournal and Fandom are starring in a remake of Exodus scene from The Prince of Egypt, I'm going to step up on posting over here. So, hello to all incoming JFers (JFians? JF-tachi? ...I got nothin'.) and lurkers and such.
*eyes journal*
Man, I've got to do some reorganizing in here. A couple potted plants, some artwork, a few skeletons in the closet, and this place will feel like home in no time. Er, as much of a home as an online journal can be.
current mood: Amazed
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, February 10th, 2004
| |
11:14 am
|
|
|
|
|
|