Mireiyu

A work day that will live in INFAMY. Or something.

sian2727@hotmail.com — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 01:42:58 GMT

In short, today sucked more than a Paris Hilton designed Hoover vacuum cleaner that's been set to the "Night-Vision Tape" level of suckitude.

Let's review today, shall we?

-Went to bed early last night and woke up exhausted. (This one doesn't count as much as the others do, since this happens often. )

- My shiny, self-designed bracelet with the bright green beads, and white & yellow crescent moons broke as I was getting coffee and a cup of yogurt from Royal Farms.

It's time for a little "Good Idea/Bad Idea!"

-Good Idea: Getting my 18-ounce, six sugars, and four ounces of of Amaretto & Irish Cream creamers cup of Kona coffee from Royal Farms.

-Bad Idea: Not drinking it on the 1/2 hour drive to the office.

Continuing the review list proper:

-As soon as I walk into the office, the phone rings. I then have to walk back out of the office and down the street, cross said street, go to the back of the Elementary School there, and pick up one of our students from the school's daycare.

-Phone is ringing when I return. This will continue every 5-17 minutes for the rest of the day, even 1/2 hour after the office is officially closed for the day.

- My office is still unorganized from the gang-bang that the floor cleaners put all of my boxed files though. I left my things in a specific order the week before last. It still hasn't recovered, due to the dedicated efforts of the 50+ sets of parents that I work with coming in and not letting me re-organize.

- Our bus lists/routes for the kidlets weren't finalized this morning. Hilarity ensued. And by "hilarity", I mean "Parents either came into the office or called us repeatedly while set to Eleven on the Psycho-Meters." Parents, I love you all, really I do. But when the expression on my face looks like a mix of "I currently have acute appendicitis and OMG. Please STFU, NOW.", you need to stop speaking, and slowly back away from my vicinity while making slow, non-threatening movements. I was seriously contemplating my potential success levels of homicide by copy machine toner, paper clips, and manilla folders, and debating whether or not the cast of any CSI show could actually catch and convict me in a single episode.

-By this time, it was 10:30-something, and I came to a heartbreaking, soul-shattering, utterly devastating realization. My beloved 18-ounce, six sugars, and four ounces of of Amaretto & Irish Cream creamers cup of Kona coffee from Royal Farms was ice cold. I can't drink re-warmed coffee, never could. With somber grace and dignity, I gave my coffee a burial at sink. I also inform my yogurt that it's now widowed, and put it in the fridge. I miss you, coffee.

- My main office began calling with a list of impossible demands mid-morning. "HI! Welcome back from vacation! We see that your class rosters are just a squeege short. Send us the proper documentation to enroll that highly-impossible-to-fufill-number by the end of the work day in 5 hours, would you? Or your "Boss of All Bosses" will call and he WILL DEVOUR YOUR SOULS, WE ARE SO NOT KIDDING.

- Due to impossible deadlines, crazy-ass parents, and no chance to stop and think, I was stressed. But like Lois Griffin in the Family Guy Xmas episode, I was rolling with the punches. Until I realized: I didn't have any ink pens, or a lunch break, and I was on my cleaning up after a potential client's three-year old who was too scared to tell anyone (even his grandma) that he needed to go pee.

- At this point, it's after 2pm, and I'm in the office demanding that Ashton Kutcher come the fuck out, tell me I've been Punk'd, and give me back the missing paperwork on two kids that I've been unsuccessfully looking for for Days.

- You know those old "very special episodes" that sitcoms in the '90s used to air about child abuse? How they used to Always use the line: "I ran into a door. A door called Dad." I actually ran face-first into a door after 3pm. I still have the mark of the my left temple. And the kicker? All I could think was "You know? If I was in the Silent Hill 2 Universe, I totally could have run into a door called Dad."

- 3:40pm. I finally get a chance for a lunch break. I haul ass to McDonalds in back in less than 15 minutes. I needed caffeine like Britney Spears needs a new stylist.

- 4pm. I get back to the office. Work puts my lunch on hold for another 20 minutes.

- 4:20pm (*snicker* What? I'm mentally 12 years old inside. Don't be hatin'.) I eat the half of my "lunch". Due to the lack of breakfast, I promptly feel ill, and wrap up the remainder for later. Much later. Like, "maybe tomorrow, if I'm lucky" later.

- 4:30pm. My office's higher ups demand that we send the documents enrolling 4 kids in 2 different centers in 10 minutes. I'm so batshit by then, that I literally laughed at them while they're still on the phone with me. Oops.

-5pm. I should totally be off work by now. I'm so totally not, because the fax won't send the documentation like it's supposed to.

- 5:15pm. I am crab-walking, skipping, and goose-stepping throughout the building. I'm also giggling uncontrollably b/c of something funny my boss said. The people across the street must think I'm nuts. Again.

- 5:30pm. The documents go through and I leave work at 5:40-ish, after an unexpected co-worker needs to use the copier and computer.And I get to do it all again tomorrow. Fuck, I hate being a responsible member of society sometimes.

So, I turn on the radio, and what do I hear?

sian2727@hotmail.com — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 02:57:41 GMT

A rock song simply titled

"Alcohol and Ass."

I rarely get to say this IRL, but...

I fucking LOL'd.

Back to FFXII

sian2727@hotmail.com — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 04:11:17 GMT

Balthier: Our standard Final Fantasy issue "Pretty Boy of Mysterious Mystery". The required barely legal-looking character that's been written into the contract Squeenix drafted for all current and future Final Fantasy games. The most current graduate of the Vincent Valentine School for Gunslinging Males.
Balthier's Last Report Card

      Gunplay 399: Shooting with Style- A

      Independent Study: Managing your High-Maintenance Airship- A

     Emo (Thesis): Autobiographical Angst-filled Secret Pasts- B+ (Would've been an "A" if he was able to convey        Vincent-level sulking.)

     Communication 239: Partners & Witty Banter- A

As you can see, Balthier seems normal. (For a Squeenix character, at least.) But just like his gun-toting ancestors in games of old: Chappu (from FFX), ??? (FF9), Irvine (FF8), and Vincent (FF7), Balthier's hiding a little something. *side eye glance* A secret.

He's Justin Timberlake's clone, taken from a sample dated in the late-nineties/early 2000, and computerized. Seriously. Go google a picture of him. Go on, I'll wait.
.....You see? Granted, from the trendy (for Ivalice, I guess) shoes, to the tailored clothing to the matching gun & accessories, Balthier just seems like the average proto-metrosexual. But look at his hair. His highlighted and slightly curled hair. Who used to have hair like that? That's right. I'm just waiting for Balthier to start singing "Bye bye bye..." and doing the song's choreography at the end of a boss battle. *Side note: "Dick in a box" just came on my iTunes. Now I can see Balthier with a box, sexually-harassing Fran, Basch, Ashe, & Penelo while Vaan looks down and goes: "It's in a box" in an awed voice. *Side Note 2-Electric Boogaloo: Enjoying that mental image makes me one step closer to going to Special Hell, doesn't it?

Also, Balthier is a mutant. Or an alien. Because no human could wear tight black leather pants in deserts and snowstorms and be unaffected by the elements. Think about wearing blizzard-chilled leather as you walk down a damn mountain. Or clinging to every inch of your body in the desert. The hotdesert. As you run, shoot, and kill things with the sweat sparkling on your skin and...

*stops to think about the leather pants*

I'm going to the Special Hell.

*Final Side Note- The secrets of the other gun-users:

Chappu- Cheating on Lulu with Luzzu . Proof: Several characters state that Chappu would propose to Lulu when his team won the championships. The Auroch's are like the equivalent of the Washington Redskins. It's like a natural law of the universe that teams like that suck for all eternity. It's like rumor of Brad Pitt saying he wouldn't marry Angelina until Bush passed better laws. Lulu had better odds of hooking up with Sin, than with Chappu.

Irvine: Secret love child of Sorceress Adel. Check the FMV that shows her face. Either Irvine can be in 2 places at once while dressed as a cowboy & as a heavily made-up Hot Topic Drag Queen or those two are related. (And my theory still isn't as cracked out as the "Rinoa is Ultimecia" one.)

Vincent: Addicted to sun-screen. Was the basis for the Very Special Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law episode about the same thing. They just changed the details so that Vincent couldn't sue for royalties.

???- Silly rabbit. This and his gun character don't exist.

staggers in

sian2727@hotmail.com — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 04:04:13 GMT

*clang* "Bring out yer dead! *clang* "Bring out yer dead! *clang*

*struggles up* I'm...not...dead yet!

~~Actually, work's been hectic, and I finally got a hands a copy of The Watchmen (w00t!)~~

So in conclusion, not dead. Just very busy. And very geeky. Oooh, Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law! Too bad there'll never be an episode where the Phoenix Wright casts crosses over into the HB:AaL universe. 'Cause that would've rocked.

This Week's "Secret Shame Purchase"

sian2727@hotmail.com — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 02:51:20 GMT

*eyes her copy of the new Maroon 5 CD*

...My taste in music is a dirty, dirty whore. And Adam Levine's vocal pimp-hand is Strong.

*pops in CD, cranks it up to 11*

Hey, Dirty. Baby, I got your money...

Final Fantasy 12 Overview

sian2727@hotmail.com — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 16:33:36 GMT

As I've been playing through the game, my mind keeps up a running commentary like I've trapped it on a discount version of the Satellite of Love. It's either write it out, or let it fester in my head like a freeloading Paris Hilton. First up on the chopping block will be the characters on the cover.

Note: If you're one of the 5 people left like me that are still on their first playthrough of FF12, heads up. These may end up spoiler-tastic in later entries, and I just want to warn for it way in advance.

Vaan: Our main(?) character. Vaan is a bleached-blond disciple of the Hanson band's "Pretty like a girl, but has a penis" school of appearance. Seriously. Check the game's cover. There are three blond people on it, and if you look at just their faces, only one of them can be readily identified as male. Vaan is not that one. Penelo seems more butch than Vaan, and she's rocking pigtails and a bodysuit. Due to their "wank first, ask questions later" mentality, Vaan has made so many male gamers question their sexuality, that he's almost a shoe-in to become the heir apparent to the "Bridget makes you gay" meme. And now that I've said that, Rule 34 will kick in, & hardcore Bridget x Vaan x Roger scans will spontaneously poof into existence. And now that I've said that, I'm switching topics before any mental images can burn themselves into me head and traumatize me.

Ashe: The required "Your princess is in another castle" character. (Well, not so much as in another castle. It's more like, "Your princess is in your party as a playable character".) She is also the required "Who the hell wears <i>that</i> into battle?!" character, as the length of her pink miniskirt rivals the width of most belts. Add to that the fact that the game sports a fully rotate-able camera, and you have a character that's constantly in danger of being caught in a upskirt trap. At the rate this game is going, I'm starting to expect Chris Hansen to waltz into my room one day while I'm playing. With my luck, it'd be during a Hunt that's gone horribly wrong, with my HP, MP, and items running low:

Chris: "Hi. I'm Chris Hansen. What are you doing here, Alastor?"

Me: *button mashing like whoa* "Trying to survive this battle!"

Chris: "Why are you doing this?"

Me: *uses last either* Because I want to <i>live</i>. And I really need the gil from this mark to buy shiny new weapons.

Chris: "Is this your 'Boy on Boy on Teddy Bear' crossover doujin manga?"

Me: "What?" *game pause* "Gah! No!" *commence scrubbing of eyes* What the hell?! Oh my God, I'm never going into a Build-A-Bear again. Chris Hansen has tainted my pure love of cute and fluffy toys."

Chris: "Don't you go by the username 'alastorsnaughtybadfuntime'?"

Me: *still traumatized* "Dude. NO."

Chris: "Damn. We must be in the wrong house." *mutters* "'It's Sweeps Week, Chris!' they said. 'Go on a To Catch a Predator road trip.' they said. 'You can't stay in that kitchen forever!' they said. I'm getting to old for this shi-"

Me: "Hold on a second, Sparky. Let's back this train up. Exactly how did you come across Guilty Gear x Final Fantasy 12 yaoi?"

Chris: "..."

Me: "..."

Chris: "..."

Me: "Holy crap, Chris Hansen is /b/tard!" *flees*

Chris: *shouts after retreating form* "I did it for the LULZ!"

That's how disturbingly short Ashe's skirt is. It makes people spin-off into poorly thought out drabbles by just thinking about it.

starts clearing out the cobwebs

sian2727@hotmail.com — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 22:41:16 GMT

As it looks like Livejournal and Fandom are starring in a remake of Exodus scene from The Prince of Egypt, I'm going to step up on posting over here. So, hello to all incoming JFers (JFians? JF-tachi? ...I got nothin'.) and lurkers and such.

*eyes journal*

Man, I've got to do some reorganizing in here. A couple potted plants, some artwork, a few skeletons in the closet, and this place will feel like home in no time. Er, as much of a home as an online journal can be.

sian2727@hotmail.com — Tue, 10 Feb 2004 16:14:38 GMT

Whoo-hoo! Major thanks to rikoshi for the invite code!