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Thursday, November 30th, 2006
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1:34p
It's been a while since I heard from the crazy folks boycotting Calvary.
The Mixed Metaphors Department: "because the liberal, pot smoking faggots who live there act like a bunch of retarded farmers from Hicksville, USA."
The "I Don't Think That Means What You Think That Means" Department: "I'm also the victim of a HATE CRIME committed against me at CCCM. It has been over 6 years + 6 months since Chucky hired hispanic SHIT to HARASS + THREATEN + TERRORIZE me on Monday May 22, 2000 at Greg Laurie's Bible Study at CCCM"
The "And Now He Dead From Coke" Department: "Pray for my dad Mehdi who had a stroke + heart attack on October 7, 2003. My dad still can't walk + he also has Alzheimer's. Chucky is such a LAZY BASTARD that he never went once to visit my dad in the hospital + he never prayed for Mehdi once, but Chucky threatened to take legal action against my sick dad through his KWave dog Jeffrey Dorman."
The Emo Christian Department, AKA "Jesus is in my top 8": "My friend was trying to get me help from Christians on MySpace, but Chucky + CCCM paid off MySpace to SILENCE my friend."
The I Did It For The Lulz Department: "Chucky's dog GayLord"
The Wii Broke My TV... COINCIDENCE????? Department: "TIMELINE OF TERROR
DEC 07 1941
USA TERRORIZED at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii
MAY 22 2000
I'm TERRORIZED at Club Chucky Costa Mesa
SEP 11 2001
USA TERRORIZED at New York City + Washington DC"
The "Superheroes That Never Made It" Department: "Chucky's buddy Hank Hanegraaff pretends to be The Bible Answer Man, but Hank Hanegraaff is really The Bible A$$Hole Man"
The Go Back To Law School Department: "Please do not BLOCK this email or ILLEGALLY mark this email as SPAM. This email is NOT SPAM, because no products are being sold."
( cut for the tl,dr )
And a special note to the wierdos who showed up last time... I know the Bible doesn't do half as well at teaching sarcasm as it does at teaching parables and shellfish preparation, but these people are crazy. And obnoxious. I'm a somewhat befuddled secular-sorta agnostic-maybe Jew. I am not Christian, not that there's anything wrong with that. If you post Bible verses and glurge with the expectation that I'm going to agree with you, you'll probably be mocked, mostly 'cause I know God's way too busy securing NFL victories and Grammy nominations to smite me.
The Calvary Myspace Group
(comment on this)
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