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Tuesday, December 12th, 2006
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2:34p - Has a cold.
So when I got up this morning, I could not open my eyes.
They had become crusted over, like my nostrils and my ears and the corners of my mouth. No, I had to stumble blindly over to the bathroom sink and wash my face until I could once again enjoy the basic uses of my head (which, for the time being, do not include unimpaired breathing).
Having run out of orifices to express its sickness, my body is now adapting various body parts to become new orifices out of which sickness may be expelled. We are watching science in action here, people. Tomorrow I will wake up to see that I will be leaking out of my fingernails. Next, my armpits will develop the ability to sneeze, and I will have to wear a sleeveless shirt so I can blow them every few minutes. I will eventually morph into a human-sized virus who goes by the name "Rhino."
THIS IS NOT WHAT CHARLES DARWIN MEANT BY EVOLUTION!
Oh yeah, and guess what started today. I'm assuming that's the only reason why the cold has not also taken it over.
(comment on this)
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