anne_noonlight

Mon, 21 Aug 2006 13:34:16 GMT

I was going to rant for endless paragraphs about shipping and OTPs, but I will just say this:

Canon doesn't mean nobody can ever write anything else, ever, and that everyone should now convert. Especially not when one character canonically isn't picky or likely to settle down any time soon.

No, I don't care about your special introductory post. Why do you ask?

Tue, 25 Jul 2006 06:04:48 GMT

Dear Intarwebs,

The Norrington community needs mods. Mods with whips and anti-attention whore spray.

PS: Please to be not demanding icons. If you don't understand why this is a stupid way of endearing yourself to everyone, your real life must be interesting.

PPS: It's not because they aren't 'true fans' who understood the beauty of wigs, it's because they're illiterate morons with entitlement complexes. Having a civil war over who loves Norrington more is not the way to deal with shitty community behaviour.

Sun, 09 Jul 2006 07:51:20 GMT

To the latest amusement,

Y'know what? If Fandom Wank is brutally oppressing you and the sanctity of Marietta's zits or whatever it is you actually support, you can just walk away. That's what's so wonderful about the Intarwebs: nobody, absolutely nobody, can actually stop you expressing your opinion if you have access to it. They can only stop you expressing it in their space. Most places on the Internet are (generally benevolent) dictatorships, but it's unique in that you can leave at the click of a button to one that does let you whine non-stop without pointing the fingers of mock.

By the way, continual replies of "you simply fail to understand my impeccable logic and the extent of my cruel persecution at your brutal, judgemental hands" aren't debate. It doesn't matter if you use two words or ten thousand, "you're just wrong" will never be a winning tactic. Neither will "I know you are but what am I?" Lots of syllables aren't in any way threatening, and you know what? They make it fucking hard to read. If you knew how to argue, you'd make your brilliant points halfway clear rather than obscure them with bullshit pretension.

Aware you will never, ever get this,

Anne.

Sat, 08 Jul 2006 04:58:41 GMT

I dedicated my fanfic to you guys!

No ... just ... argh, on what planet is that not more blindingly obvious than Tom Cruise going off his medication? I just joined that community, so I don't know the members to pick their reaction, but they seem to be leaving it well alone like the slightly crusty-looking whore it is.

Loathing makes me forget basic sentence structure

Sat, 01 Jul 2006 05:16:49 GMT

You know someone annoys you when you don't want to hate them if they beg you to, because everything they say, ever, even if it's about how great boobies are or the cuteness of really small kittens or the true hotness of porn, makes you want to disagree. Or, you know, it might just be me.

Also, thanks to those moronic statements about slash that got posted, I think I may work on my het fic now. It's going to be completely Jossed in a week anyway.

Withnail & I: gay movie, or gayest movie?

Fri, 30 Jun 2006 17:01:41 GMT

I think I will post some quotes from this thing, because it was both hilarious and also the most homoerotic movie ever. Even without Uncle Monty. That and Paul McGann was almost naked. I am turning into a shallow creature indeed.

Supertextual?

Withnail: And in both our interests I think we should sleep together tonight.

Marwood: I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering, and have come in here with the express intention of wishing one upon you.

Marwood: What is all this calculated risk and tactical necessity. It's me, naked, in a corner. And how dare you tell him I love you? And how dare you tell him you rejected me? How dare you tell him that!?
Withnail: Sorry about that, got a bit carried away. Sort of said it without thinking.

Less gay, equally amusing:

Withnail: Why don't you use a cup like any other human being?
Marwood: Why don't you wash up occasionally like any other human being?
Withnail (rising to the challenge): How dare you? How dare you! How dare you call me inhumane?
Marwood: I didn't call you inhumane. You merely imagined it. Calm down.
Withnail: Right you fucker. I'm going to do the washing up!

Marwood: Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day, and for once I'm inclined to believe that Withnail is right. We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell.

Danny: I don't advise a hair cut man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hair are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.

Withnail: We've gone on holiday by mistake.

Withnail: I feel like a pig shat in my head.

Withnail: I fail to see my family's of any interest to you. I've absolutely no interest in yours. I dislike relatives in general and in particular mine.
</lj>

Probably TL;DR rant about certain fans

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 15:11:24 GMT

The writers do not hate you. Unless you have/had some personal contact with them and piss them off they way you do me, they aren't out to get you. You can discount this if they do have personal contact and loathe you, because that makes it hilarious as opposed to infuriating and slightly pathetic.

In accordance with said principle (the one about the lack of hate, not the hilarity), the writers do not change characters to get at you. They don't kill them because they hate your sort of fans. It is not about you. It never was. If you see something in the character that the writers don't and blame the writers for this, your entitlement complex may need adjusting. They're still the writers who created that character and unless it was by the monkeys-at-typewriters effect, the apparent saintly brilliance you saw probably was in some way related to their script. Probably, 'cause I think the identification part of your brain provided half of it.

Because, you know what? The damned thing wasn't written for you. You are but one of a few hundred thousand people. Many of them don't see it the way you do. Sometimes, it won't go your way. Characters die. I'm still not over all the Animorphs myself. If you don't like a form of character development, say so. If you loathe the fact someone dies, say so; you'll be in good company with the Sirius Black lot and Harry Potter fandom in general will be happy to introduce you to the wonderful possibilities of necro porn. But STFU about the writers doing it on purpose because they are talentless hacks who go to your LJ and think "wow, that bitch sure sucks, we'll kill off someone she identifies with and glorifies into some paragon of virtue because she's such a pox-ridden hobag".

To summarise: the writers are not thinking of you at all, in any way. Not even if you happen to be a naked bisexual.

PS: Calling their type of education, their intelligence, their cat-ownership, anything but the way they write into account on this issue is not on.

Looking forward to the wank when someone calls you on this shite,

Anne.</lj>

Fri, 02 Jun 2006 11:18:46 GMT

To Certain Pirates of the Caribbean Fans:

If Elizabeth is a manipulative bitch-whore, then what's your excuse for adoring Jack?

No love and many weary suspicions,

Anne.

PS: Not to say you can't hate as much as you feel the need to, or until it starts to chafe. But please to be not hypocritical with that hate?

As a general note, characters don't need to be in the running for a sainthood to be worthy or interesting. Whitewashing canonical flaws doesn't make them go away, and it produces a character who only half resembles the one whose name I keep reading in the story. And making the flaws seem like endearing quirks doesn't work either.

I don't write fanfiction, except when I do

Sun, 16 Apr 2006 14:41:35 GMT

I don't know what got into me, because I'm not a writer by any means. I consume a lot of everyone else's fanfiction and I've never worked in the drabble format before, nor have I done this pairing. I haven't seen the movie in about a year, but I've been doing a lot of Norrington roleplaying lately, which means I've been working really hard to get his 'voice'. Not sure if this is it or not, but I like messing about with the way characters feel about one another.

Fandom: Pirates of the Caribbean.
Disclaimer: Do I get to call myself a pirate? I definitely don't have Disney's permission to do this. It's all theirs, and that of the writers.
Pairing: Jack Sparrow/James Norrington.
Format: Strict drabble (100 words exactly).
Rating: PG-13, for what's implied more than anything.

He still couldn’t trust him. His smile was wicked and his skin as smooth and honey-rich as the rum he made it his habit to consume; he was filthy, without a moral compass and likely contagious. His hair and beard were unkempt, he refused to adhere to any law and he swayed like a drunken whore. Even his scars were a mark of his piracy, the livid brand making no excuses for what he was.

But with the soft glow of the candlelight, and Jack’s dark eyes casting their owner’s desire upon him, James Norrington felt his inhibitions slip away.

Tue, 11 Apr 2006 11:11:37 GMT

I'm just sweet former mousie, not really interested in journalling as much as pointing and laughing.