Anonyrat

Fic!

cog.mouse@gmail.com — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 22:08:14 GMT

Title: Strawberry Dreams
Genre: 100% fluff, oh my god
Pairing: Poo/Paula
Rating: So G it makes my teeth hurt.
Notes: Well, I can't consider this my best work or anything, but it's the first fanfic I've written in a loooooooooo~ng while, so I suppose I have only myself to blame. I tried to capture some of the warm-fuzzy-feeling that Earthbound sometimes manages to give one, and while I don't think I was entirely successful without crossing the border into total cheese, here it is.

<lj-cut text="Strawberry Dreams">
Paula had never seen Poo look so confused. "A...milk shake?" he repeated, clearly trying to wrap his head around the concept. "How does stirring the milk up add anything to the taste?"

You mean you've never had a milkshake?" Paula said. "You don't even know what a milkshake IS?"

"We don't use a lot of milk in Dalaamese cooking. It's an island, after all, and it's not very hospitable to-- hey!" Poo caught his footing with practiced grace as Paula seized him suddenly by the hand and began to trot down the sidewalk, dragging Poo along towards some unexplained destination . "What on earth--"

"There's an ice-cream place in the department store -- I saw it when we went shopping earlier. You know, before Ness and Jeff got distracted by the arcade." Paula slowed down, but kept hold of Poo's wrist, half-pulling him along as though he needed to be shown the way. "We have to go there before Ness and Jeff get back from booking the hotel."

"...why?" Poo asked.

"Because you've never had a milkshake!" Paula said. "I mean...that's terrible! This needs to be fixed immediately." Poo sighed. It was probably best to humor her. Giving up on extricating himself from Paula's grip, he walked the few familiar blocks to the department store following meekly behind her, hand in hand.

*****

The 'milkshake' was not at all what Poo had been expecting. The way Paula had described it, a milkshake had sounded like some sort of beverage, but he was currently sitting in front of a glass of cold pink sludge, topped with something that looked a little like soft cheese and a sort of unnaturally-colored berry. He poked at it experimentally with his spoon.

"Come on, try it," Paula urged. Her sludge was brownish, and she had already polished off the top fourth of it. "It's strawberry."

"I've never had a strawberry," Poo said. "Are you sure this is milk?"

"Oh, just try it," Paula said. Poo shot her a skeptical look, stuck his straw into the pink sludge in front of him, and sucked at it momentarily. It tasted sweet, creamy, and a bit fruity.

"It's...good," he said. He took another sip, and then picked the berry off of the top of the white creamy cheese. To his surprise, the white stuff was a great deal lighter and fluffier than he had been expecting. Like the sludge, the berry was sweet and slightly fruity, but mostly sweet.

"You sound surprised," Paula said. Poo shrugged.

"I am sure that if I showed you some of our food you might be equally skeptical."

"I would love to have some Dalaamese food sometime," Paula said wistfully. "Maybe we can use the monkey's trick to visit there sometime."

Paula always called their teleport abilities that -- the monkey's trick, since Ness had apparently learned the skill from a monkey living under the care of the desert-dwelling sage Dalah Rama. Like Poo, PSI had been a part of Paula's life since she was tiny, but her city lacked the ancient lore of Dalaam; left to her own devices, Paula had developed an entire array of unusual ways to refer to their powers, most of them strange and almost childlike to Poo's way of thinking. It had been off-putting at first, but more and more he had begun to wonder what it had been like for Paula, growing up as powerful as he but without the guidance of tradition and the wisdom of her ancestors.

It must have been very lonely, Poo thought, and took another sip of his milkshake.

"Poo," Paula eventually said. She was about a third of the way through her milkshake -- chocolate, she called it -- and seemed to want to break the silence. "Have you ever thought about...what you'll do once all this is over?"

"All of what?" Poo said. This milkshake thing really was good.

"You know. The...well, um. Our journey."

"Oh. The war with Giygas."

"Yeah. That."

"Well, I suppose..." Poo thought about it for a moment. Once Giygas was defeated, well...the thing he'd been training for his entire life would be over and done with. The world would be safe.

Would the world need him anymore?

"I suppose...I've never thought about it much," Poo said. "It's my duty to protect the people of Dalaam."

"All alone?" Paula said. Poo shrugged.

"Who could help? I'm the last of the royal line."

"We could help." Paula had finished off her milkshake and was clicking the heels of her well-worn red shoes against the steel leg of the chair. "We're friends now, right? That's what's friends do."

"I suppose." Poo swirled his straw around in his milkshake thoughtfully. His training had never included the possibility of long-term allies. Well, of course he knew the great legend -- the wise men of Dalaam had meditated upon the future and communed with the ancestors for generations, and they had told him that there would be others. Poo had sort of assumed that they'd be warriors like himself.

"Paula....how did you know you were supposed to join the fight?"

"I just...well, I didn't really learn anything about it. It's not like anyone told me about Giygas or anything." Paula looked pensive, as if she was trying to recall something in the distant past. "I'd always had these powers, and when strange things started happening to me...I just...I knew. I knew that somewhere, there were people I needed to meet -- people all over the world who would be my friends."

"That sounds...very strange."

"I think it sounds kind of romantic. Don't you think so?"

"How do you mean?"

"I mean, we were destined to meet. Like it was written in the stars."

In combat, there was no time to think -- only react. Never allow yourself time to be surprised -- this is what he had been taught all his life. Poo was quite startled, therefore, to find himself rooted to the spot as Paula leaned quickly across the table and brushed her lips against his. After a moment's indecision, he leapt to his feet, nearly knocking over his chair. Paula was looking up at him, clearly as startled as he was.

"What? What's wrong?" She said. She sounded a bit upset. Poo hastily repositioned his chair and sat down, a bright red blush spreading across his cheeks.

"What did you do that for?"

"I thought...since we're alone for once and sharing milkshakes...you would...I mean, if you don't think --"

"What about the others? Ness --"

Paula smiled fondly and shook her head. "He's like my brother. It'd be weird. And Jeff..." Here, Paula seemed to find something funny, and she suppressed a small giggle. "Jeff likes books better than girls. Is something wrong?"

"It's just that I don't understand -- if you wanted to talk about, um...frivolous things like that, why all of this milkshake business? Why didn't you just say so?"

"Poo...you really do have a lot to learn."

There was a long silence. Poo stared hard at the remains of his milkshake. If he looked at Paula, he might start thinking about how her hair was slipping out of her bow a little bit, or how strange it was that such destructive psychic power had ended up attached to such a gentle personality...

"Are you ok?"

"I'm supposed to be a warrior. I'm not supposed --"

"To think about things like that? Why can't you do that and be a warrior?"

"I'll...I'll have to consider it."

"Then think about it," Paula said, leaning forward to kiss him on the cheek.

"I'll have to--" A sound hovered at the edge of his hearing -- a familiar, unnerving hum. Poo whipped his head around; there was a group of people huddled up around the glass doors that led to the street, talking in agitated and slightly fearful tones. He caught one stray phrase -- "Did you see that?" -- and flew to his feet.

"Something's up. Might be a UFO. We should go immediately!"

Paula sighed fondly. "You sure you don't want another milkshake before we go?"

"We shouldn't waste a minute --" But another milkshake would be nice, and if he stayed here then maybe she would.....

"I suppose...I suppose another milkshake wouldn't hurt."

Earthbound Fic

cog.mouse@gmail.com — Sun, 04 May 2008 05:44:53 GMT

I might write more of these...just a brief thing to get me back into writing after so long.

I guess this is my writing journal until further notice. LOL, not that anyone reads it.

Dear Jeff,

I covered for you.

I mean, I've been turning in your homework for you. With your name on it and everything. See, I couldn't sleep the night you left, so I thought it all out. I found a paper you left and I copied your handwriting. I even made sure to write down some wrong answers on my paper -- so they don't look the same, you see. My grade might drop a little, and I guess yours might too -- I'm not very good at science -- but I'll try my best.

I also told the headmaster your father was sick and you'd been called off to visit him. He asked why your handwriting looked weird, and I told him it was because you were upset. I mean, your dad's sick, right? It's stressful. Teachers don't want to be too strict if they feel sorry for you, you know? I don't know if he believed me...but it's not like they can call your dad, right? I mean, he lives way out by Stonehenge. I don't even know if they have phone service out there. You never tried to call him, anyway.

I hope I haven't made things worse -- I'm not very good at lying, but I talked to Maxwell, so he's helping me with your alibi. That's OK, right? I mean, he seemed to believe me. He has a drawer full of newspaper clippings -- did you know that? They're all about Stonehenge. UFO sightings. Cavemen. That sort of thing. I figured if he follows that sort of thing, he'd be likely to believe it when I told him the truth.

I wish you'd call me. I know you're doing something important, and it must be really busy, but I miss you. I really do.

We get the Eagleland paper in the common room, and I've been reading it. Downed UFOs, monster sightings, stuff like that...that's how I know where you are, you see. I can always tell, because something strange will happen and suddenly everything will be all right. Zombies go away, famous bands get out of trouble, and recently someone started selling cake again right after a UFO crashed on the beach!

You didn't tell me where you were going, or why, but I think I know.

You're saving the world, aren't you?

Because that's just like you.

Yours always,
Tony

I guess this means I should finish my Let's Play Earthbound! series.

Let's Play Earthbound!

cog.mouse@gmail.com — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 10:19:07 GMT

I am in the midst of an obsession that appears to run quite deep. The subject of that obsession? Earthbound, a cult classic RPG from the mid-nineties that was a huge hit in Japan but never caught on quite right in America.

I liked the game a lot when I was a kid, and it stuck in my mind a lot better than any number of forgettable SNES DragonQuest clones I played at that age. The retro graphics, the quirky humor, the unusual setting...all of that really made it stand out from the crowd, as well as some more nebulous quality that made me come back to it again and again.

Now, replaying it, I am absolutely floored by this game. The attention to detail is astonishing, the humor is great on a lot of levels, and there's so much heartfelt emotion in this game that it's a simple joy to play. This game loves you, and if you love it back it will reward you more than nearly any other game I've seen. The artistry is astounding...this game was written by a novelist, and a clever one at that, so the writing's good...but the most artistic thing about this game is how well it uses the video game format. It really transforms the generic DragonQuest format into something beautiful and engaging, giving you an engrossing world to play with, a storyliine that IS the game rather than being cut-scenes BETWEEN game-y bits, and moments of pure joy, terror, and sweetness.

What is it about?

It's about saving the world, of course.

Earthbound is set in a iconic fantasy version of 1990s America -- white picket fences, girls in pink dresses, hard-luck blues bands, ray guns, skyscrapers, baseball, hamburger joints, and zombies.

You play Ness, an ordinary kid who finds out he has a not-so-ordinary destiny to save the world from a dark future where an evil alien named Giygas has plunged the world into terror and destruction. Armed with nothing but your trusty baseball bat and a bit of psychic powers, Ness will travel across the oddball world of Earthbound to face his final foe. Along the way, you'll meet up with some friends -- a cute girl psychic, a bespectacled boy genius, and a prince from a faraway land. You'll go to some strange places -- because while this journey is on its surface a simple "find the MacGuffin" quest, the result is quite unlike any other game in existence.

Since my fanfic isn't turning out well and I haven't had the impetus to do fanart, I'm going to make this contribution to the internet instead. Here's my play-through of Earthbound, with pictures, with my thoughts. It isn't much, but I think it'll be fun.

Let's Play Earthbound!

Unfortunately, I don't have screenshots of this bit. Sorry.

The opening of the game tells you what's in store. The text is very casual, speaking directly to the player as it prompts you for character names -- "Name yourself. Name her, too. Name your friend. Name your other friend." The "Don't Care" option will generate a series of default names. We'll use the first options, as that's what the characters are usually called when discussing the games. But, of course, it's all up to you.

The music is upbeat and strange, with odd little noises and excited words of synthesized Japanese -- the "OK desu" you hear when you enter a name is supposedly the creator's own voice.

After naming yourself and your friends, you'll be prompted for more names -- your dog, your favorite food, and your favorite thing. You dog will be an NPC, your mother will serve your favorite food when you go home, and the hero's only offensive PSI power will be named after his favorite thing. I choose the first default -- "Rockin" -- as my favorite thing. I love this touch -- it makes the hero's offensive PSI really sound like an extension of his own personality and will -- the kind of power a kid might have.

Now, we start our story.

Our hero Ness has woken up to a strange crash in his quiet suburb. As it turns out, the crash is a meteorite. When his obnoxious next door neighbor Pokey enlists Ness's help to find his little brother Pickey at the crash site, the boys are greeted by a mechanical bug calling itself Buzz Buzz. The tiny bee (which circles you and fills your music with buzzing as long as he's with you) has come from the future to find Ness. In the future, all is devastation under Giygas, an alien being of unimaginable evil...but they are comforted by one prophecy -- about three boys and a girl who will destroy Giygas. Ness, of course, is the first of these remarkable children.

Ness returns Pickey and Pokey to their house. On the way back, they encounter a Starman, a sort of humanoid robot that forms the vanguard of Giygas's army. Only Buzz Buzz's psychic powers can save you!

And then, Buzz Buzz is smashed to death with a rolled-up newspaper by Pokey's loudmouthed mom.

Buzz Buzz dies in an excellent parody of a heroic death scene. Before he croaks, though, he gives you the Sound Stone and commands you to take this stone to the eight "Your Sanctuary" locations and record the music you hear there. This, he says, will open the door to "Your World."

And we're off!

First, you have to head to your hometown of Onett and clean out a gang of local punks, the Sharks. Their leader hangs out in an arcade -- a knife-wielding greaser with a sleazy suit and a steam-powered robot. Wait, what? After defeating the leader of the Sharks, the mayor of Onett gives you a key to a shack, which leads to a cave where you can find the first "Your Sanctuary" location. A giant ant is waiting for you -- defeat it, and you can go to Giant Step, a huge footprint in the ground where you can collect the first notes of your song, along with a vision of a small, cute puppy. This is the first glimpse of exactly what the Sanctuary spots are. They're not fonts of immense power, they're not artifacts you can pick up and equip ...they're odd, inexplicable little phenomena that offer you nothing but a song and a look into your own childhood. They're quiet moments of wonder.

Also in Onett is a house for sale. The owner is asking $10,000. You can't pay that now, unless you grind on stray dogs and skate punks for days on end. We'll be revisiting this house later.

There's also a shack belonging to the unfortunately-named Lier X Agerate. He claims to have dug up a treasure he will only show to you. Once he gets you down into the hole, though, he lets you have only a quick glimpse of the thing -- a golden horned figure, clutching a sword -- before he hurries you out, fearful he might steal it. Odd...I thought he wanted you to see it? It's a subtle moment whose significance only becomes clear much later in the game.

After the sanctuary scene, it's time to head to the police station. See, in one of the many light-hearted parodies of video game convention, the police have blocked off the road to the next town because they're going for a world record in road-blocking. To get them to remove the roadblock, you'll have to go to the police station. Five policemen gang up on you in an empty room...defeat them, and you can go to Twoson.

Now, there's a hotel in Onett. It's likely you won't use it, though, because you can simply go up the hill to your own house and have your mother cook your favorite food and send you to bed, healing all your HP and PP for free. There's also a free telephone there to call your perennially-absent father in order to save the game. You can go there any time you like. Even after you move on to Twoson and beyond, your mother will be waiting there with a free meal if you trouble yourself to walk all the way back to Onett. Of course, by the time you get to Twoson it's not really worth the trouble to walk all the way back to Onett just to save $150 on room and board, so you'll end up staying in hotels very quickly. This adds a strange tinge of loneliness to the game -- you know your mother is always waiting for you back home, and you COULD go there, but there are much more pressing issues at hand. So you call your mother on the telephone, sleep in a hotel room, and eat in drug stores and burger joints instead. You're saving the world, after all, and that's important. But once in a while, you'll be low on cash and find yourself wishing you could go back to Onett and get a free meal...and then you're thinking about home and Mom's cooking, just like a 13 year old kid out on his own, fighting aliens with psychic powers and a baseball bat.

It's a nice touch.

In Twoson, you'll hear two rumors. One, that there is a new religious movement centered in nearby Happy Happy Village. Two, that a young girl has been kidnapped. If you sleep on the way to Twoson, you'll recieve increasingly desperate telepathic messages from the girl -- her name is Paula, and her parents own a preschool.

After fighting the mobster suspected of her kidnapping -- a surprisingly friendly fellow with an eye-damaging Hawaiian shirt and a terrible moustache -- you'll find out that Paula was actually taken away by some robed fellows in blue. Mysterious. At this point, you might remember something about a religious movement in Happy Happy Village, whose ringleader was looking for a high priestess. Hmmmmmm...Time to head to the UFO-filled Peaceful Rest Valley and onward to Happy Happy village. The bridge is out -- of course -- and a strange iron pencil statue is blocking your way -- of course? Maybe someone in Twoson can help you.

Back in Twoson, you'll find two houses. One belongs to a slick, popular dude named Orange Kid, and the other belongs to a fat and messy kid named Apple Kid. They're both inventors, and they might be related, although the game is never clear on this point. It may just be one of those things -- two boy inventors, both named after fruit, living next to each other by complete coincidence.

Of course, you'll want to give your money to the messy fellow. He'll also want food. A Cookie will suffice. His pet mouse, grateful to you for helping his master, will give you a phone that will allow various characters in the game to reach you. It won't take long for Apple Kid to call you up with a new invention -- the Pencil Eraser, that destroys pencil-shaped objects. You know what you must do.

Incidentally, you can also donate money to Orange Kid. Eventually he will make his own invention -- a machine that plays an ode to the greatness of Orange kid, and then breaks forever.

That's the first installment of TL;DR Earthbound theater. Tune in for Part 1: Rescuing Paula! This time with pictures!

Thoughts

cog.mouse@gmail.com — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 06:28:54 GMT

I am thinking of making a F_W entry on the kerfluffle on the Wizards boards about D&D 4th Edition. I just need to collect some choice quotes. I can't find the freakin' "4 + Shift Key = $$$$$" quote, dammit.

I'm a bit nervous.

A Phoenix Wright/Miles Edgeworth Slash Story in 6 Acts

cog.mouse@gmail.com — Fri, 16 Mar 2007 18:24:35 GMT

Objection!

Confession!

Affection?

Erection!

Rejection?!

Dejection.