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[Oct. 15th, 2006|11:41 am] |
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Disclaimer: I don’t regularly read Ultimate Fantastic Four/Ultimate Power. These scans are credit to ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif) consummated, who posted them at ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/community.gif) scans_daily.
I have a highly flexible sense of humor, which loves the absurd, unusual, and absolutely terrible. I am a b-movie collector, a purveyor of crap in all forms. This tends to annoy other folks, understandably; I got a great laugh out of the Super-Skrull “stretching” Reed, when all that got stretched was my tolerance for Land’s art and a photo of someone yelling.
Upon wasting the time viewing this utterly ridiculous piece of Land porn glory, though, I simply could not laugh off.
To start, we have a shot of the Fantastic Four action figures. For once, Land can use his source material without having to add in any of that pesky realism. Biting sarcasm aside, it does irritate that only Sue is in a demure, lady-like pose, while every other figure’s pose somehow implies great physical strength even when they aren’t endowed with it, such as Reed or Johnny.
What really gets under my skin is this .
Here we have the hallmarks of a crisis situation: collapsing building, a non-superpowered civilian, people yelling the obvious. Sue, being the ‘force field maker’ of the team, is clearly expected to save the day. This is all well and good, until we get to the actual art of the matter.
Sue’s pose is perfectly suited for say, dance or diving. (Both photos credit to Corbis) It’s soft, graceful, and shows her entire form in motion. Her hands are delicately set, emphasizing the length of her frame. If she were about to, in example, dive into a pool, it’d be appropriate.
There’s one tiny problem: she’s not. She’s protecting four other people from tons of crumbling concrete rubble. Unless Sue’s power works like an antenna and strengthens the higher she reaches, there is absolutely no logical reason for her to stand like this. Compared to other renditions, Sue is in a defensive pose when using a shield, bracing her body to withstand impact. The sheer weight she’s attempting to support/withstand with her back here could quite possibly shatter her spine. There’s a reason doctors recommend one kneel to lift a heavy object instead of leaning over. Leaning over puts the weight entirely on the spine and shoulders; this can lead to the possibility of serious back problems in the future. Since one’s leg muscles are much stronger than those in their back, when one kneels and puts the weight into their hips and legs, there’s no risk of injury.
But of course, that doesn’t matter. When the world is collapsing under a nuclear holocaust there’ll be tons of opportunities for me to show off my ass, no doubt. Because that’s what this is. Since the page construction has the panel focused solely on Sue and her line, it is pure T & A for the hell of it. And surely, considering the utter monstrosity that is the Squadron Supreme introduction, Land was not under pressure to meet his “hot women showing their assets off” quota; Power Princess is in a corset, of all things. Admittedly, the splash is equal opportunity for the silly poses, considering every single person seems to have kept their hands in fists to resist the urge to break out into jazz hands, and Blur is busy looking pretty in an acrobatic dance leap.
Of course, this is Greg Land. The last realistic woman he drew was his mother in first grade, and even then she had pornface. |
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