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Sandra Bloom

n a v i g a t i o n

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[27 Aug 2006|04:54am]
[ mood | Overwhelmed ]
[ music | Do What You Want by Ok Go ]

I move to Washington in less than a week. I am leaving everyone I love and everything I know so that he can follow his dreams. I am doing things I swore I would never do. I am doing things I desperately don't want to do. I will have no friends there. I'll have a crap job and a stupid apartment with two guys and three cats and I DO NOT THINK IT'S WORTH IT. I would give anything for him to be able to do this without me. I suck at making friends, I suck at surviving in new places, I hate cities. I hate depressing weather. I hate this whole fucking thing. Fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

I wish I could say any of this on my other journal. I wish I could tell him honestly how much I hate this without him getting all guilty like I just fucking kicked his favorite puppy or something. FUCK.

Are you in or are you out?

[16 Jan 2004|03:40am]
[ mood | Meek ]
[ music | If I Were Gay by Stephen Lynch ]

Slight advantage of this journal is, no one reads it.

The moments I hate most in life are the ones where I inadvertantly offend someone. I get in this mode where my brain thinks I have something rather important to say, and I say it, and inevitably it isn't important as much as ignorant. Worst of all is the way my brain hangs onto these moments.

Once, when I was about eleven, I said "I don't believe in all that Jesus crap" at a party my parents were throwing. Now, my parents run with a rather out-there crowd, and I just figured everyone there was pagan. Very wrong of me to assume, as I quickly found out, when the person next to me made mention of the fact that for *some* people (herself included) that "Jesus crap" is important. I was mortified. And still am every time I see her.

Of course, I find it highly ironic, since I'm now one of those people who believes in that "Jesus crap". Heh. I see now that I was terribly wrong in thought at that age. I guess I figured that if you believed in Jesus, you were cranky and uptight like my Grandma. To me, Jesus = stick-up-the-ass. And then I proved myself wrong.

I'm just glad that when these moments happen, where I stick both feet as far in my mouth as I can get them, that the people I do it to are so forgiving. I had another of those moments this morning, and I'm quite glad she let it drop, and even changed the subject for me.

Sandra

are you out?

First post [09 Jan 2004|06:01pm]
[ mood | Mildly Amused ]
[ music | Never Is A Promise by Fiona Apple ]

I'm here. Thanks to the two-week, no code period. And I'm mainly just here for [info]fandom_wank. If you want to really know me, check out my Livejournal.

On a side note, JournalFen has better moods than LJ.

Sandra

are you out?

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