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Scylla (![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} bardicsidhe) wrote,@ 2007-12-01 17:25:00 |
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Checking In... Hopefully with more updates
So I feel like I should stop lurking and update this thing.
The past few months seem to have been a time for rediscovery and settling in. So many small things that would have made a few dozen good blog entries got lost amid juggling lots of tasks.
I've got cable television now. I don't get to watch it much, but when I watch it, I honestly enjoy the luxury and the respite. Life has changed so much, when I used to loathe it and camp out before it for hours at a stretch. I've rediscovered the radio. I, in my utterly unabashed love of Christmas, am tickled to discover my favorite radio station playing nothing but holiday tunes right up until the 25th. There are nights when I prefer to have that on as I work at something else, rather than the television. It's soothing, and I feel more focused. I like it because the music is completely out of my control, and I can write while it's on, unlike when I have my own playlist running on the computer.
Cable television (I'm rambling, aren't I?): Food Network. A show called "Everyday Italian" featuring a woman named Giada De Laurentis and omg, I would so hit that. I have two girlcrushes, one being Marisa Tomei, the other being Giada De Laurentis (I've since given up on Trinity... I think she's more Tristan's type than mine. Or... something). No, I don't watch it for her (or I don't watch it just for her), I watch it for the incredible food. The recipes are on the website and this stuff looks like something I could actually do with my limited counter space and cooking implements. Someday I plan to have a butcher-block island in my kitchen, where I can artfully arrange a thick wedge of Parmigiano Reggiano and a handful of vine-ripened tomatoes that I actually grew. Someday I will have a kitchen that is larger than my bedroom. And the walls will be warm amber and the lighting will be recessed. People will want to come visit me just to hang out in my kitchen. Yes.
I got a raise. :D I got health insurance. :DD I got dental insurance that covers annual cleanings completely! :DDD
Life, by and large, is busy but good. I have a bit more free time, though I'm still holding out for the evenings when I'm free every day of the week (I work a second job at night two nights a week, though not because I need to) and I've got enough financial security that I can splurge a little bit on things that make me happy - like flour and sugar and yeast and all the good stuff needed to make bread - and things that will make my apartment more like home and less like a place to crash - like Christmas decorations and candles and maybe a bigger bed and a couch.
By unexpected but no less welcome means, I've ventured back to the Vale. Thanks to the understanding of my fellow managers, I've scaled back my participation in certain areas and expanded in others, and I'm a much happier creature for it. I'm finding the love again in the books, and the love for the group and the people in it. I've been active for three whole weeks now, and I count every day that I *want* to check the boards and *want* to post and participate to be a blessing. In so doing, I've found old friends, too... and was surprised by the people who remembered me in spite of my long absence. I'm content and I'm looking forward to the future.
I'm looking back on old pairings I thought I'd left behind, not because I consciously wanted to but because I thought I'd lost the ability to write for them. Maybe finishing That One Story that will haunt me until it's done.
I've rediscovered dA. Not that I really ever left there, I've just discovered an affinity for the sense of community it offers and the chance to pay back some of the kindness that people there showed me. Maybe it's just another sign of my overall rediscovery of happiness and contentedness. I feel settled, more ready to take on whatever comes my way. I've left a lot of self-destructive habits behind, I can breathe, I'm enjoying living in my apartment and I'm starting to think about maybe investing in a house, some time not in the immediate future. I don't have the money to budget for it just now, of course. I'm just happy right now that I have the money to think about gift-giving with a smile of anticipation rather than biting my lip in worry.
But it's there. It's a real, honest-to-goodness dream, when I thought I didn't have those kinds of thoughts. I dream about having a kitchen of my own.
So I feel like I should stop lurking and update this thing.
The past few months seem to have been a time for rediscovery and settling in. So many small things that would have made a few dozen good blog entries got lost amid juggling lots of tasks.
I've got cable television now. I don't get to watch it much, but when I watch it, I honestly enjoy the luxury and the respite. Life has changed so much, when I used to loathe it and camp out before it for hours at a stretch. I've rediscovered the radio. I, in my utterly unabashed love of Christmas, am tickled to discover my favorite radio station playing nothing but holiday tunes right up until the 25th. There are nights when I prefer to have that on as I work at something else, rather than the television. It's soothing, and I feel more focused. I like it because the music is completely out of my control, and I can write while it's on, unlike when I have my own playlist running on the computer.
Cable television (I'm rambling, aren't I?): Food Network. A show called "Everyday Italian" featuring a woman named Giada De Laurentis and omg, I would so hit that. I have two girlcrushes, one being Marisa Tomei, the other being Giada De Laurentis (I've since given up on Trinity... I think she's more Tristan's type than mine. Or... something). No, I don't watch it for her (or I don't watch it just for her), I watch it for the incredible food. The recipes are on the website and this stuff looks like something I could actually do with my limited counter space and cooking implements. Someday I plan to have a butcher-block island in my kitchen, where I can artfully arrange a thick wedge of Parmigiano Reggiano and a handful of vine-ripened tomatoes that I actually grew. Someday I will have a kitchen that is larger than my bedroom. And the walls will be warm amber and the lighting will be recessed. People will want to come visit me just to hang out in my kitchen. Yes.
I got a raise. :D I got health insurance. :DD I got dental insurance that covers annual cleanings completely! :DDD
Life, by and large, is busy but good. I have a bit more free time, though I'm still holding out for the evenings when I'm free every day of the week (I work a second job at night two nights a week, though not because I need to) and I've got enough financial security that I can splurge a little bit on things that make me happy - like flour and sugar and yeast and all the good stuff needed to make bread - and things that will make my apartment more like home and less like a place to crash - like Christmas decorations and candles and maybe a bigger bed and a couch.
By unexpected but no less welcome means, I've ventured back to the Vale. Thanks to the understanding of my fellow managers, I've scaled back my participation in certain areas and expanded in others, and I'm a much happier creature for it. I'm finding the love again in the books, and the love for the group and the people in it. I've been active for three whole weeks now, and I count every day that I *want* to check the boards and *want* to post and participate to be a blessing. In so doing, I've found old friends, too... and was surprised by the people who remembered me in spite of my long absence. I'm content and I'm looking forward to the future.
I'm looking back on old pairings I thought I'd left behind, not because I consciously wanted to but because I thought I'd lost the ability to write for them. Maybe finishing That One Story that will haunt me until it's done.
I've rediscovered dA. Not that I really ever left there, I've just discovered an affinity for the sense of community it offers and the chance to pay back some of the kindness that people there showed me. Maybe it's just another sign of my overall rediscovery of happiness and contentedness. I feel settled, more ready to take on whatever comes my way. I've left a lot of self-destructive habits behind, I can breathe, I'm enjoying living in my apartment and I'm starting to think about maybe investing in a house, some time not in the immediate future. I don't have the money to budget for it just now, of course. I'm just happy right now that I have the money to think about gift-giving with a smile of anticipation rather than biting my lip in worry.
But it's there. It's a real, honest-to-goodness dream, when I thought I didn't have those kinds of thoughts. I dream about having a kitchen of my own.
