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Who's Missing the Torchwood Wank? [07 Sep 2008|08:00pm]

fandom_wank

[aeka]
Here's a recent addition to Torchwood wankage, brought to you by a kind anonymouse who submitted it to [info]wank_report, only this time with the added bonus of plagiarism on behalf of the unofficial torchwood guide author.

Funtimes as someone publishes an unofficial guide to Torchwood. Containing pages of reviews from fans on livejournal without their permission.
Amazon.com version
UK Amazon.com version

People are less than pleased.

whereas some are quite happy to be featured.

Leave the author alone!

Differing views of copyright laws

People suggesting going to the tabloids to get their own back.

Meme view:

Reply from author


Oh dear. I'd like to see what'll happen if this bloke makes a fortune on this guidebook and who will be the first LJer to actually initiate a lawsuit. Should be an interesting case to watch on the evening news.
38 comments|post comment

[05 Sep 2008|12:28am]

fandom_wank

[sepiamagpie]
Hello, wankahs! It is the most holy of days, my birthday.

There were a lot of ideas about how to celebrate it. The most prominent and the only one I can currently remember was to let Snacky out on all of you because she is full of a deep, dark anger welling up from pools within that I cannot even begin to comprehend. Well, mostly she was pissed off at all the genital-based insults being lobbed at someone for being a bad writer. But about other stuff, too!

Then I realized that would just end in tears. Except for Snacky, who would probably be on top of her mountain cackling while lightning struck in the background.

Being a peaceful toy dork, I decided on something that will make me happy. And hopefully The World, too!


No banning, no pranks, nothing elaborate.

I wants picspam.

Kittens, hot people ([info]hot_daily has put the madness in me. Also, go there. It's quality), puppies (unless you're puppyfree), and actually, mostly cute animals.
408 comments|post comment

FFRants strikes again [04 Sep 2008|02:38am]

fandom_wank

[sarajayechan]
[ mood | *thud* ]

[info]nemesishamartia posts yet another rant about gay guys who act like stereotypical women in slashfic. "Words" are given, offense is taken, snark is had. But alas, in the end the commenters were merely guinea pigs in [info]nemesishamartia's social experiment:

"ETA2: Thank you all for participating in my women's studies experiment. A male classmate didn't quite grasp that the comments he made during class were insulting.

Your help was most appreciated. -- ;D Nems."

309 comments|post comment

The return of Chancery Stone [31 Aug 2008|01:08pm]

fandom_wank

[sleepyjean]
While visiting Amazon today I noticed a link in their romance forum for a romance between brothers. Because I always have to crane my neck to stare at a trainwreck, I clicked on the link.

And found Chancery Stone!


...who recs DANNY without disclosing that she's the author and then gets into arguments with posters who don't consider incest overly romantic. Just like always, Stone can't stop posting.

And don't miss the name of her new site--www.danny-is-god.com.

Mild wank, but it's nice to get a blast from the past.

ETA:

Original wank

Well-earned parody of wank

Flouncety flounce flounce

Further ETA: Amazon has deleted many of her more fervent posts.

Son of wank, featuring commentary by the awesome Nora Roberts, who smacks Stone down as wonderfully as you'd imagine--especially when Stone posts a link to her blog and tells them they're getting their 15 minutes of fame.

ETA the third: All Chancery Stone threads have been deleted by Amazon, and she's been banned from posting on its forums.
622 comments|post comment

emperosteele's tought on yaoi episode ???? (which # already?) [30 Aug 2008|10:14am]

fandom_wank

[stupid_fangirl]
Over [info]fanficrants; [info]oceanica ranted about sexual orientation in Naruto fandom.
It looked normal until emperorsteele decided to join the rant.

"Could" provides for possibility. If something doesn't exist or is not true, then it's not possible.

Girl likes guy. She is straight UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE. UNTIL that point, it's just whistful fantasy that she wants the clam.

Anyway, the OP was saying things like "Likes girls.. possibly bi". I mean really? What does it take to convince some people that someone is straight? In a boy's action story where romance is hardly ever a focus, no less?

Bit late to the party on this one, but I've got one name for you: Dumbledore.


Oh sure, point out the ONE time something like that happened!

I guess that means ALL characters are secretly gay!! My bad!!!


So on and on and on and on and on....

ETA: Fandom is such math.

MOAR ETA: It's dragged to ffrantsrants.

ETA'S MOM: Seem like he is having fun in another wank entry.

DEAREST PAPA OF ETA
: Another butthurt and FFRR.

And no, I'm not going to defend this position ad infinitum for 5 hours straight against heterophobes. The OP asked for opinions, and I'm gicing mine. If anyone has a problem with this view, kindly count to ten and pass up on hitting reply, kthnx. My E-mail inbox is still crying from the last wankfest. Please, think of the inboxes!

My "problem" seems to be that I have an opinion about the nature of the written medium (and to a lesser extent, the nature of sexuality) which rubs people here the wrong way because they assume that having that opinion translates into real-life quasi-homophobia, making me a horrible person, thus giving them an excuse to attack me because it's not politically correct; or rather they feel compelled to disagree in order to defend their beloved slashfics.

ETA'S SIS: He is now temp banned from FFR
368 comments|post comment

And the Twilight Wank Saga continues with an author flounce... [29 Aug 2008|02:39pm]

fandom_wank

[ilya]
As a lot of you must know by now, the first 12 Chapters of Midnight Sun, Smeyer's addition to her Uh-may-zing boooookes was leaked on the internet several days ago, and this has chagrined her dazzle verily.

From her official website:

August 28, 2008 (part II)

As some of you may have heard, my partial draft of Midnight Sun was illegally posted on the Internet and has since been virally distributed without my knowledge or permission or the knowledge or permission of my publisher.

I have a good idea of how the leak happened as there were very few copies of Midnight Sun that left my possession and each was unique. Due to little changes I made to the manuscript at different times, I can tell when each left my possession and to whom it was given. The manuscript that was illegally distributed on the Internet was given to trusted individuals for a good purpose. I have no comment beyond that as I believe that there was no malicious intent with the initial distribution.

I did not want my readers to experience Midnight Sun before it was completed, edited and published. I think it is important for everybody to understand that what happened was a huge violation of my rights as an author, not to mention me as a human being. As the author of the Twilight Saga, I control the copyright and it is up to the owner of the copyright to decide when the books should be made public; this is the same for musicians and filmmakers. Just because someone buys a book or movie or song, or gets a download off the Internet, doesn't mean that they own the right to reproduce and distribute it. Unfortunately, with the Internet, it is easy for people to obtain and share items that do not legally belong to them. No matter how this is done, it is still dishonest. This has been a very upsetting experience for me, but I hope it will at least leave my fans with a better understanding of copyright and the importance of artistic control.

So where does this leave Midnight Sun? My first feeling was that there was no way to continue. Writing isn't like math; in math, two plus two always equals four no matter what your mood is like. With writing, the way you feel changes everything. If I tried to write Midnight Sun now, in my current frame of mind, James would probably win and all the Cullens would die, which wouldn't dovetail too well with the original story. In any case, I feel too sad about what has happened to continue working on Midnight Sun, and so it is on hold indefinitely.

I'd rather my fans not read this version of Midnight Sun. It was only an incomplete draft; the writing is messy and flawed and full of mistakes. But how do I comment on this violation without driving more people to look for the illegal posting? It has taken me a while to decide how and if I could respond. But to end the confusion, I've decided to make the draft available here (at the end of this message on the Midnight Sun page). This way, my readers don't have to feel they have to make a sacrifice to stay honest. I hope this fragment gives you further insight into Edward's head and adds a new dimension to the Twilight story. That's what inspired me to write it in the first place.

I do want to take a moment and thank the wonderful fans who have been so supportive of me over the past three years. I cannot begin to tell you how much each of you means to me. I only hope this note will stop all the confusion and online speculation so that the Twilight universe can once again become the happy escape it used to be. After this incredibly busy year, I am now focusing on spending more time with my family and working on some other writing projects.

--Stephenie

I don't think I need to add much more than that.  Lol.  This is so bloody beautiful...Oh Smeyer...please to be going over there to cry upon your pile of ill-begotten millions.  We all know that that book is going to be finished and published eventually so that you can add to your dragon hoard of booty. 

Who else thinks that she's just waaaaahing for the sympathy and threatening to not provide any more crack so that everyone can forget about the epic fail that was Breaking Dawn and start kissing her ass again? *raises hand*

Edit:

And we get reactions from the Amazon Boards and the ♥ TwiMoms ♥. The ONTD comm weighs in on the situation.

And the NuttyMadam reacts. Though sorry, there's no vid this time since she took it down. But here, have a transcription of the lost vid, courtesy of [info]aegflota

We are all a bunch of meanies hiding away in this little club house of ours.

Smeyer Ego stroking.

Bonus Snack: The Twimoms just cannot leave the poor boy alone!. There's wankiness in the second link, as the TwiMom in the picture appears and asks for her photo to be taken down. Also, Here is a step by step instruction manual on how to go about your Pretty Vampire Actors stalking, for you n00bs who have no idea how to go about it. It is illustrated and everything. The TwiMoms are nothing, if not thorough.

OH NOES YOU GUISE! They be calling the FBI on us!!! WHAT DO WE DO? WHAT DO WE DO?

Twilight is going to save our country from the evil lesbians so you'd better all stop dissing it!

Cleolinda Midnight Sun Commentary! Yay. Lol.

ETA:How do you gain respect for your much derided favorite author? Why, by starting an online petition for it, of course!
2748 comments|post comment

I'm sure there's a masturbation joke I could make here but I'm stumped. [28 Aug 2008|10:42pm]

fandom_wank

[gusty]
If you've been following F_W for a bit you're probably aware of the existence of FurAffinity, the furry-themed art website. Recently, the website had been down for about a month due to a supposed hardware failure. During that time many users, unable to function without their hot hot hermaphrodite liontaur porn, flocked to a lesser known site called Furry Art Pile. Yes, it's lovingly called FAP most of the time. Many users decided that they liked FAP better, and made this known in their various journals on FurAffinity when it returned. They found it more user friendly, and there was also much suspicion that the 20k raised for new hardware by FurAffinity was not all going back into the site.

Which brings us to yesterday. The head admin of FAP (Dylan) made an entry in his personal journal that he just wasn't having fun with the project anymore and was shutting it down. As in, right then and there. There was no warning period. Even more troubling -- he had recently been accepting donations on the website for upgrades.

Needless to say, this doesn't go over very well. Most replies being fairly blunt. Then a few of the admin's friends come in to make fun of the complainers:

[info]losdelroro: "Major props to you for taking a pet project so far and enjoying it. When it starts to be work and people start demanding stuff of you and all their "contributions" is the extra $2 they got as a tip from working at Starbucks, you dont owe them a damn thing. I hope you enjoy your next project as much as you enjoyed this one and I know you'll do amazing things!"

And later: "I dont really care what things he admitted to screwing up or not, what matters to me is a person's personal opinion and right to do what they want with a website they created from scratch. Especially if it eats up huge amounts of time to maintain and upgrade when the total amount "donated" doesnt even cover server costs. I didnt' say he only got $2, I was insinuating that the donations were meager collections and scraps that people had left over when they weren't buying comics, porn or fursuits. I think you just need to accept that its going away, deal with it somehow and move on and stop being so petty. Its not exactly crushing your world is it? Didn't think so."

After the uproar from people not even able to grab what they needed off the site before it was shut down, the site itself was reopened with an announcement that it would be closing on September 1st. Still, the only advice Dylan gives to those who donated? Take it up with Amazon.
8 comments|post comment

[28 Aug 2008|09:20pm]

ashenmote
I watched The Dark Knight! I know I said I wouldn't, but the Star Wars cartoon already dropped from the cinema and it was already too late for Kung Fu Panda today, so I had to.

I don't think I really still need to spoiler-cut The Dark Knight, yes? )
5 comments|post comment

How dare you talk about our relationship without my consent. [27 Aug 2008|07:21pm]

otf_wank

[kittikattie]
[ mood | Mundane ]

Over in fanficrants, bittersweetwish fusses about how Twu Wuv (with a human W) and said expression of love does not generally come after the first damn date, and most relationships take time to blossom into the hot wubbings.

nanuq459 agrees and in a discussion sums up a past relationship thusly:

Seriously, we were friends for a long time but then she cornered me, asked if I had feelings for her, and then it was pretty much:
Me: Let's see if this works ou--
Her: *TACKLEGLOMP*


....and then the other half of the failed relationship, mercuryblue144, shows up with a curt and simple "Fuck you too." And there is drama.

Bonus wankish on metaquotes, where mercuryblue144 is upset that the quote was still metaquoted--even though the other half said it.

It's not very big, just really...weird. I mean, no one would have ever known anything if she'd been quiet.

--Neth

114 comments|post comment

Tired of Steph Meyer's wank yet? [26 Aug 2008|09:37pm]

fandom_wank

[aeka]
Once upon a time in the magical land of YouTube, there was a Scottish Youtuber who got bored one night . Turning on her camera and pressing the record button, she sat on her arse to praise the latest work of the almighty Stephenie Meyer, the next best thing since JK Rowling.

She was rather stout with a squared jaw and rectangular shaped eyes. Her hair was a silky brown in colour, straight and thin, shining under her lantern's light. After a few seconds of nasty glares and emo stares, our Scottish Youtuber goes on to make her announcement of just how disappointed she is with fans; going on to patronise the whole fanbase on just how pathetic they really are, not realising the irony of her statements.

Quoth she in a patronising tone while staring closely into the camera:

"How can you act like this? After reading that amaaaaaaazing book, not shit! not boring! not glorified fanfiction, A-MAAZING BOOK! I'ma say it real clear: A-MA-ZING BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK! You've been waiting for what? A year? And you've been thinking of how wonderful it's going to be, and DYING to get your hands on it, cause it's going to be soooo good! And then you complain about it? Because it's not what you wanted?

She briefly blew a small gust of wind into her hair, so as to keep her bangs from falling further into her eyes.

"Since when do you get what you want by complaining, you ungrateful little turd?" she enquires with a tone of anger in her voice "Yeah, I'm talking to you! You who is watching this! If you have ever complained about Breaking Dawn because it wasn't what you wanted it to be: I'ma just go this real slow for you, because your brain obviously isn't working right now, because you're being STUPID thinking that its not very good anyway, okay?

"Number One: Stephenie Meyer is a GENIUS! Ya-HA, Ya-HA, okay? She rocks! She wrote Twilight, she wrote New Moon, she wrote Eclipse and you loved them!"

Not even going halfway through her video, her fellow viewers stopped and said:

"Fat FAT FAT FAT You are fat."

Another said:

"Please tell me, why all the Twilight fans are stupid, fat girls?"

And another:

"I think YOU'RE overreacting. You couldn't pay me to read that shit again. Maybe one day you'll develop literary taste and you'll realize how godawful Breaking Dawn was -- no, how godawful EVERY book after Twilight was, and that srs bsns people like you have been acting as Stephenie Meyer's cash cows for the past 3 years. Smeyer's sun tanning on her yacht right now that YOU helped pay for, laughing her ass off at the teenies who believe whatever bullshit she spoonfeeds them."

But best of all. one said:

"THIS. ISN'T. SPARRRRTAAAAA!
You're allowed to have your opinion. The 'haters' are allowed to have theirs.
Deal with it. Stop being so insane over a book.
Y SO SRS BSNS? "

But fortunately to her support one kind soul said:

"I personally loved the book! Although I do think that weather people loved it or hated it they should be able to share their opinions, I do have a problem with people who take it to ridiculous extreems. I hope that after a while things will cool down and everyone can just get over all this drama. I loved all the books and will just try to ignore all the negative feedback. Also, coming from an American I would just like to say that Fuckwit is the most awesome swear word I have ever heard.lol!"

Like the broken clock that used to tick next to me, the vast majority of commentors just went "wankity-wank, wankity-wank, wankity-wank-wank" and occasionally one with a high enough level of oestrogen would go "squee-squee-squee, squeekity sqee! with joy! at the girl who defended Stephie and her literary classics!"

This goes on for a while as tradition has it, and then along came an anonymouse to report the wankage at [info]wank_report

I'm ready for my award now for best break-through narrative of 2008.

[EDIT]:Oh yes, I forgot to point out that like the big bad wolf, this one also huffs and puffs, but didn't succeed in blowing down the house. But she did however manage to have a sadgasm somewhere in between her huffing and her acid trip when Renessme(sp?) supposedly gave her "visions". She also stated that "real vampires poop and wee on you", assuming of course she has come across real ones in her lifetime, and they didn't actually pop out of Stephenie Meyer's books during her state of emotional high. Thank you anonymous!
1058 comments|post comment

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