(Not) Chris Pine

[July 11, 2008. Will be backdated. Crossposted to zach_quinto]

"Baby? Where's the--AGH!" Chris yelps in horror, then turns (naked) tail and runs back upstairs.

Zachary looks at Zach. "I did not expect to see him naked again so soon," he says. "You should've warned him I'm here."

"You should learn to knock," Zach shoots back at Zachary. "Or call ahead. Maybe if you walk in on enough naked people you'll learn your lesson."

"Looking at him naked is not exactly an unfortunate thing," Zachary says. "I had no idea he's so..." He makes a vague gesture.

"Zachary. Please do not be going with this where I think you're going with this."

( ''You're a lucky guy.'' )

[June 8, 2008. Will be backdated. Crossposted to sendhil]

[Takes place an hour or so after Sendhil calls to arrange a meeting with Chris and Zach.]

"I should've worn the blue shirt," Chris whispers to Zach, grabbing his elbow. "Shouldn't I? Do we have time to go back? I should've worn the blue!"

"We do not have time to go back. You should not have worn the blue shirt," Zach recites. In a whisper. Because Chris is whispering. "It's going to be fine."

( ''But he might like me better in blue!'' )

[June 8, 2008. Will be backdated.]

[Takes place Sunday morning, following Chris and Zach's discussion after Zach comes home from dinner at Adrian's.]

Chris collapses, gasping, to Zach's side. He tries to wipe the sweat from his forehead, he thinks about it really, really hard, but he can't lift his arm.

He's going to smother on the pillow that's gotten pushed up against his face. That would be bad. Except he can't move. So... maybe death by pillow it is. Wait. No. That'd mean no more sex with Chris. ( Somehow, miraculously, Zach manages to shove the offending pillow away, gasping for air as soon as it's gone. )

[June 6, 2008. Will be backdated.]

[Takes place after Zach has dinner at Adrian's place, around the same time that Hayden and Adrian are talking.]

Zach thinks he has a headache when he finally makes it home, unlocking the door, then locking it behind him again, resting against it for a moment before he kicks off his shoes and heads for the stairs. He's not sure about the headache though. It might be he's just tired. Or that his heart hurts. Really? Not sure. At all.

"Zach?" Chris's voices comes from the bedroom. ( ''That's you, right, not a burglar with a key?'' )

[May 28, 2008. Will be backdated.]

Chris sets the coffee mug down in front of Zach. "You got in really late... Milo must have just run you ragged all night."

Zach groans softly and tugs the coffee closer, giving Chris an unendingly grateful look. "There's something not quite right about Milo," he murmurs, just enjoying the smell of the coffee. It's coffee. Coffee is good.

Chris leans down, kisses his cheek, then goes to the fridge to get some eggs. ( ''I've decided he's actually solar-powered. It happens occasionally with us California boys.'' )

[May 11, 2008. Crossposted to chris_pine]

[Takes place the day after Zach meets the parents.]

"Okay, seriously, my hand is starting to cramp up. Aren't I done yet?"

Zach hides a smile and points at a stack of forms just to the left of Chris's hand. "Almost?"

Chris drops the pen and then bangs his head on the table. "Why do you hate me?" he asks in a small voice.

"Okay, look at it this way--if you decide you still want to get a membership when you've seen for yourself? You won't have to do the non-disclosure forms over again." ( Just the other two thousand pages worth of forms... )

[May 10, 2008.Crossposted to zach_quinto]

[Takes place the day after Chris and Zach talk about the club. Chris talks about having told his parents that he's with a guy here, and plans are made for Zach to meet them here.]

"Well." Chris stares up at his parents' house from where he's still sitting, in the driver's seat of his car. "That's it."

Zach lets out a deep breath, staring at the house too. He's wearing an outfit that he's ninety-five percent sure was Milo approved at some point. He's not wearing his glasses. He shaved. And he spent more time than he's willing to admit messing with his hair and trying to get it to behave. He's not sure he succeeded, but he did try. "There it is."

Chris takes a deep breath, then checks his hair in the rear-view mirror. "Do I look like a good son? I should have worn the tie. Shouldn't I? Do you think we have time to go back and get it?"

( They'd said they'd be at the Pine-Gilford residence at four o'clock. It's five minutes to. )

[May 9, 2008.]

[Takes place about a week after Chris and Zach get a weekend full of Zachary Levi]

Christopher Whitelaw Pine is never, ever going to move again.

The fact that Zachary John Quinto is collapsed on top of him and also likely never going to move again is probably part of that... but oh, god. After that? ( Not moving is a small price to pay. )

[May 3. Crossposted to zach_quinto]

[Takes place the morning after Zachary gets dropped on Zach's doorstep.]

"Good morning, baby," Chris says. He's been in Zach's kitchen a while, cooking up a storm.

Zach's still looking sleepy and ruffled, turning in a full circle around the kitchen. "You cooked. A lot."

"Zachary's going to need lots and lots of protein," Chris tells him.

"Zachary's going to need a stomach pump and an exorcism... but the protein's a good start," Zach says. ( ''You made breakfast for my previously drunk now very hung over best friend who's probably upstairs drooling on my guest room pillows right now? That's... kind of the sweetest thing ever.'' )

[May 2, 2008.]

There is rather a lot of knocking on the door. Chris peers over the edge of The Big Over Easy and looks at Zach. "Who in the world could that be?" he asks.

"It depends... what time is it?" Zach says, not bothering to look up from I Want to Go Home! Maybe they'll go away.

The knocking continues. Chris glances at his watch. "It's ten-thirty." He gets up. "I'll just go look through the peephole." He sticks his finger in his book to mark his place, then a moment later, he calls out, "Uh... Zach?"

"Uh huh?" This time, Zach does look up.

( ''It's Zachary. He's being supported by a tall blond woman and a tall blondish guy.'' )

[April 27, 2008. Crossposted to zach_quinto]

[A few hours after Milo drops by to visit.]

Chris is exhausted. Zach's friends are exhausting. He drops his clothes to the floor, crawls into the bed, groans, drops onto his belly, and waits for Zach to finish brushing his teeth.

Zach shows up a few minutes later, still wearing his boxers when he comes into the bedroom. "You sleeping already?"

( ''No,'' Chris says, ''my brain's too thinky to sleep.'' )

[April 27, 2008. Crossposted to ventimiglia]

[Takes place while Sendhil is staying with Jack and Beth.]

"Pansy!" Milo drops down to his knees to give the mutt a very warm, happy greeting. "How's my guy? Huh? How's my buddy?"

Milo Ventimiglia, ladies and gentlemen. The only man Zach knows who rings someone's doorbell, then drops without so much as a greeting...(  to snuggle up the dog. )