October 11th, 2006
(no subject) @ 01:56 am
To those who were watching up til now and following Cillian's previous arc with Christian Bale and Jonathan Rhys Meyers, that's been moved over to lj in a fic form.
I'm starting Cillian over almost brand new so, consider this the cutting off point for your reading. Please feel free to email me for additional info about the continuing arc. butterflysteel@gmail(dot)com.
July 12th, 2006
Differences - Christian and Cillian @ 08:41 pm
[Takes place after Christian wins Best Villain at the MTV Movie awards. ]
( Differences. Two utterly different types of love. )
June 22nd, 2006
Life Is Grand @ 12:32 pm
[public to Establishment Members, will be backdated to June 21, 2006]
It's funny. I'm no fan of premieres, opening nights, all the red carpet kind of thing. But last night? Last night was by far the most fun I've had at a premiere since...ever.
Wind That Shakes The Barley opened in London last night. I felt protected, both in the spotlight and off for the first time, and the crowds seemed far happier and more friendly than I remember before.
Maybe I'm just so happy that everything is colored by that.
The film opens in my home town this weekend, I believe. I can't wait. How bizarre is that?
June 10th, 2006
Best Hero :) @ 08:38 pm
Congratulations Christian aka "the Bad Ass of the Bad Asses"
Best Hero and more!
May 8th, 2006
Email in return to Christian Bale @ 10:08 pm
[sent on 5/8]
Subject: Clearer? Was Re: Hi
I should learn not to write emails after I've been having a fit of insomnia. I'm sorry I made so little sense. ( Let me try again )
May 4th, 2006
One Step Forward, Two Steps Back @ 11:52 pm
[ Takes place in current time]
I know it hasn't really been that long but it seems like months and months. I've grown used to being around you. Sometimes when it's just Jonny and I, I think we're both looking unconsciously for the balance to keep us from spinning away into infinity, to keep us safe. Or maybe that's only me. I've missed you. I keep on missing you.
The thing is, I need to talk to you. It's been on my mind for weeks now and with all that's been happening, I kept waiting for the right time. The more I think about it and the more that I miss you, the more I think that the right time is never going to come.
I've tried to talk to Jonny about some of this but whenever I even mention Gavin's name, he gets so...protective that I can't explain. He doesn't want to hear it, and considering what a wreck I was, maybe he's got a right not to want to.
When we get back, before the fucking Cannes Film Festival, I need to talk to you, please. Just us. Maybe you can make Jonny understand but it's important to me right now that you do. Please?
I'm sorry to sound so dramatic and such. It's not really, I'm only frustrated.
I'm fine. Jonny's fine.
PS: Don't see this film alone. I about died trying to behave like a civilized human being after seeing it. Jonny is excruciatingly hot in it. ;)
April 29th, 2006
Going Slightly Mad : Cillian and jonathan_r_m sort of @ 08:16 pm
[ This is Est-verse's version of certain events at the London premiere of MI:3 and following it. It's a little ficlet. ;)]
( Cillian couldn't be caught tossing off right there because his lover was driving him mad on the screen. )
April 10th, 2006
Letters I've Written, Never Meaning To Send @ 05:23 pm
[Written to Gavin Rossdale on yellow legal pad in black ball point. Crumpled and then smoothed out, folded neatly and tucked into one of Cillian's desk drawers at his LA flat. Written sometime in the last few days.]
You'll never see this and that's for the best. But, I need to let this out, let out how I feel and how it's holding me back and leaving me wounded inside.
Meeting you, loving you. It's like I was a different person then. ( I had confidence )
February 23rd, 2006
Sexy... @ 03:20 pm
[locked to Jonny
I was doing some web surfing, still want to go out some night together and I found this.
There's something so mean and sexy about it, dunno why.
Thought you might like to ogle it with me.
Cillian( Hell's Grate )
February 20th, 2006
Love to love you, baby. @ 05:24 pm
[Once again in LA after resting in Cork, Ireland, sometime in February, Tea Time becomes Video Time with Jonny and Christian! All feedback happily accepted on est_meta ]
( Just being here with his boy and Cillian feels good right now, and he isn't eager to change tacks so soon. )
January 25th, 2006
In Cork: Finally @ 03:28 pm
By the Fire - Still In Cork @ 12:39 pm
[After Cillian and Christian finally shag, Jonny and Cillian have a chance to cuddle and talk. Takes place around the 25th of January. Backdating is Hell. Ack! ]
( "Mucking about with the fire's easy by comparison." )
January 22nd, 2006
In Cork: After The Golden Globes @ 03:25 pm
January 17th, 2006
What a night... @ 03:44 pm
Seeing Jonny finally get the recognition he deserves for the work he did on Elvis: brilliant.
He's incandescent, bullet proof.
Braving the fucking press was more than worth it to see his smile lighting up an entire room and to be with him last night.
I don't think he really knows yet how much I love him. Maybe I didn't either until now.
Everything feels clearer.
January 16th, 2006
Before the Golden Globes @ 03:40 pm
January 15th, 2006
Voice mail for jonathan_r_m @ 10:50 pm
Cillian's voice comes on the line sounding up-beat and even breathless. "Jonny! Baby, when you get this, call me, okay? I miss you and I was wondering if or when you might want to do a crawl through interesting places before we head back to Los Angeles?" He hums a little as if he's debating on what else to say. "We can go shopping first and find something hot to wear." The grin is evident in his voice and he hums again. "Alright, love, miss you as usual. Call me. Bye!"
The message clicks off.
January 14th, 2006
(no subject) @ 01:31 am
[In response to this gift from Christian Bale, sorry for the tardiness, mun's life is craaazy lately. Vignette and email]
Cillian closes the door behind the departing messenger with a nudge of his hip, eyes on the parcel in his hands. Setting it on the coffee table, he sits down and stares at it a few moments. There's no good reason not to open it, a package means a gift and he's fairly sure that it's not a Christmas gift.
He can't help feeling a pang, a wistful little feeling that Cillian dispels simply by opening the box and plucking up the card. The words written there bring a warm glow that causes him to sit back and smile before he folds back the tissue paper to reveal the enclosed bit of leather
The glow becomes an outright flush and a smile as he gently strokes his hand over the soft, supple hide. He can't imagine what he might look like wearing the trousers, but the idea that Christian might enjoy seeing him dressed in them gives him a sharp, hot feeling that makes him shift against the sofa cushions in a near squirm.
Unfolding the trousers reveals the gloves as well and he blinks several times. His imagination suddenly paints a vividly erotic picture for him and he brushes one glove against his flushed cheek in almost dreamy pleasure for a few moments.
When he forces himself to rise, Cillian gently puts both trousers and gloves back in the box before detouring to the laptop on the desk.
I received your gifts today. I know it's useless to say somthing like: you didn't have to. You know that, anyway. But, you did and I love them. Vegetarians, or rather, vegans aren't supposed to like leather or so I've been told a few times. I do though. Love is probably a better word than like. In fact, leather is probably bordering on a fetish for me, so, um...I'll leave the rest to your imagination. ;)
Thank you, very much, and not just for the gifts.
PS: Modeling can be arranged at your convenience.
December 25th, 2005
Sleepless Nights: Cillian and jonathan_r_m @ 01:27 pm
[Takes place in London in the wee small hours of Christmas morning. After Cillian sees Gavin which results in Cillian and Gavin being photographed and appearing in a tabloid under such circumstances that Cillian's identity is hidden. Gavin and Cillian decide to stop seeing each other, Cillian is comforted by Christian then joins Christian and Jonny for Christmas. Whew, hope that makes the time line semi-clear.
]( "I'm here, I promise, I'm here" )
December 17th, 2005
Comfort: Cillian and christian_bale @ 03:32 pm
December 13th, 2005
Smoking and Drinking @ 01:07 am
[ Happens right after Cillian leaves Jonny and Christian's, will be backdated, log uses this color to differentiate thoughts from memory.
( waste of good scotch )