Hartless JP/SB, JP/PP, SB/LE

Written for hp_free_for_all

Title: Hartless
Author:

fazkleto
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Angst
Warnings: Non/Dub con (light), wanking, alcohol induced relations
Pairing(s): main pairing; James/Peter, off-pairing(s); James/Sirius, Sirius/Lily
PROMPT: During Marauder's Era - Peter has always been obsessed with James. A short piece where they are locked in somewhere isolated and slashy things happen. It would be good if you also looked at Peter as not necessarily evil at this point, although perhaps he may be jealous of Sirius and Lily. What James' reaction to the encounter is depends on you - is James shocked by Peter's advances? does he give in? does he decide to use Peter because Lily/Sirius don't put out? does he make the first move? do they argue? or does James return Peter's feelings?
Betas:

bewarethesmirk and

illyriabeta
Author's notes: Hartless is a play on words (although badly I admit), Hart is uncommonly used to refer to a male deer. I couldn't help myself -facepalm-

_{Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J.K. Rowling and various publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.}

“Go… to your own bed, Jamesss,” Sirius slurred in the dark.

“Uh… kay.”

James was barely conscious, the drunken haze consuming him quickly. He felt uncomfortably sticky and realized his torso was splattered with the combination of his and Sirius’ semen. The heady smell of their tryst permeated heavily in the air.

Shit. Not again.

He inwardly groaned and stumbled across the hard floor to the comfort of his own bed. He knew tomorrow he’d have to deal with the consequences of his alcohol induced actions.

*****************************************

He awoke late and was grateful to realise that he was the only one left in the dorm room.

I need a shower. I smell of spunk…

He rubbed his throbbing temples. Why had he decided to drink so much last night? He could only remember fragments of what had occurred after he and Sirius had returned from drinking themselves silly at Hogsmeade.

Awkward kisses. Sirius telling him that he preferred girls. Them arguing about the meaning of what they were doing. Blackness. The sound of heavy breathing. The feel of Sirius’ hand wrapped around him. The overwhelming smell of musky arousal. Sirius telling him to go.

Godsdamnit, what the hell have I done? Sirius is going to avoid me for weeks…

*****************************************

After a long hot shower brooding about Sirius, James decided it would make much more sense to try and talk with him.

It didn’t take long to find him and Remus sitting together in the Great Hall. Sirius was showing Remus a piece of parchment with a gleeful expression plastered on his face. Remus looked apprehensive.

“All right, Remus?” James laughed as he walked up to the table.

“Fine, actually.” Remus gave James a small smile and flicked his gaze back to the parchment, which Sirius crumpled instantly.

“See you later, Moony,” Sirius said, getting up from the table quickly.

He didn’t even look at me…

James sighed as he watched Sirius saunter through the great oak doors out of the castle. He glanced back at Remus who was fingering his silverware nervously.

“What’s he so excited about?” James asked, trying to sound casual.

“He uh… got a note from some girl,” Remus answered, not meeting his eye.

“That’s nothing new.” James laughed a bit too forcefully.

He didn’t really care that Sirius was off to see some bird. In fact, if anything, he was glad Sirius was off to reassert his ‘manliness’. But it really bothered him that he was being ignored in the process, that and Remus’ obvious uneasiness.

He knows that something has happened between Sirius and me… He thinks I’m going to be upset that Sirius is off with some girl!

“I need to go study in the library,” Remus said suddenly, obviously attempting to change the subject, “Do you want to come with me?”

“Nah…” James shrugged, failing to come up with an excuse of why he wasn’t interested in going.

“Alright, catch you later,” Remus paused and then continued quietly, “He should be heading towards the Forbidden Forest.”

Am I really that transparent?

“Uh, see you later then,” James answered, feigning indifference. He turned and followed the path Sirius had taken earlier out the wooden doors.

*****************************************

His breath blew in wispy puffs against the cool air. Brightly coloured leaves littered the ground and crunched as James made his way towards the dark forest. He walked as quickly as possible without breaking into a jog, he didn’t want to seem too anxious should anyone see him and wonder what he was up to.

“W-where you heading, James?” A squeaky voice called from behind him.

Damn. Why does he always show up at the worst possible time?

He stopped momentarily and allowed Peter to catch up with him.

“I’m really busy Peter. Remus is in the library… I’ll meet you both there later.”

“Er… can’t I just walk with you and we can meet Remus later, together?” Peter looked at him hopefully.

“No. Now don’t follow me… I need to be alone,” James said defensively, hoping that Peter would for once listen to him.

“Fine,” Peter snapped.

James shrugged apologetically and walked briskly into the woods. He hoped that Sirius wasn’t too far in already; he wanted to catch him before he met up with the bird.

If he’s already with her I’ll have to just sit there and wait until they are finished. That would be awkward…

He shook his head of the thought and increased his pace. He fought down the urge to call out for Sirius, not wanting to look like a desperate and spurned lover.

It isn’t like that at all. I just want to bloody talk to him and get this all sorted out.

He was beginning to feel frustrated when he heard it. Voices. More specifically, Sirius’ voice.

“…meet me here?”

James heard Sirius ask. He held his breath and crept forward, trying to locate the sound.

“Because I have something for you.”

The bird. But not just any bird, the voice was achingly familiar and in a panic he pushed forward to confirm his fears.

Bright red hair and electric green eyes. Lily. His heart stopped. She looked nervous, staring at her shoes as she dug a toe in the ground.

“What do you have for me?”

Sirius was grinning rakishly. James had the immediate urge to smack the moronic look right off Sirius’ smug face.

James cursed himself for never confiding to Sirius just how he felt for Lily. Sure, he had told him that he thought she was attractive, even that he wanted to ‘bone her’ in traditional boyish drivel, but he and Sirius always competed for girls. It was just a game, seeing who you could get to bed you. Admitting you actually had feelings for someone just wasn’t very manly. The teasing he would have had to endure. He would gladly endure it now to spare him of this.

Not her. Anyone but her. Why her!?

His fists clenched at his sides as Lily’s cheeks turned pink and she turned her gaze to Sirius.

“I… well I…” she started, licking her lips nervously. She didn’t have to finish, Sirius was already closing the distance and pressing his lips to hers.

No! Fucking bastard! I’ll kill them both!

James clutched his wand and squeezed his eyes shut in agony. His heart hammered and clenched painfully. He struggled to control his breathing. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t rush in and stop them. It would ruin everything.

He would never forgive me… She would never speak to me again… It’s all my fault anyway.

A low growl brought his attention out of his thoughts. Sirius’ hand was working its way up Lily’s skirt. James couldn’t tell where her hands were, but from the way her arms were moving he didn’t think he wanted to know.

I shouldn’t be watching this. Turn away damn it… just turn away.

“Oh! Ohhhh, Siriussss!” Lily’s low whimpering hit him like a ton of bricks.

He knew where Sirius’ hand was now.

“Fuck Lily…” Sirius responded in a throaty groan.

Bile rose up and burned James’ throat. He couldn’t take anymore of this. Spinning around abruptly he stumbled off in the opposite direction.

He ran unsteadily for a minute before slumping heavily against a tree. His sharp intakes of breath stung painfully.

Calm down you idiot. It’s not the end of the world. Just your best friend and the girl of your dreams shagging like rabbits.

He chuckled to himself bitterly.

“James?”

Who the fu-

He whirled around in dismay.

“Bloody hell, Peter! Didn’t I make myself clear earlier?” James snarled in fury.

“Listen, James, they don’t deserve you! You aren’t just some dumb pretty boy,” Peter said softly, “Y-you’re so smart and funny…and handsome!” Peter finished in a rush.

James stood there, his mouth hanging open in shock.

Before he could get a firm grasp on the words that were spinning around in his mind Peter surged forward and embraced him. His eyes widened and he looked down at the shorter boy in confusion.

“Ugh…” he protested as Peter proceeded in giving him a very sloppy and wet kiss.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” James growled and pushed Peter away.

“I-I… just wanted to make you feel better,” Peter stuttered and then continued hastily, “I know what you and Sirius do when you’ve been drinking!”

“How the hell… Peter, you bloody pervert! How dare you spy on me!?”

He knew he was being ridiculous. That it was obvious what had occurred. If Remus had any inclination, then Peter most definitely did too.

“Please, James… I’m sorry! It’s hard not to notice when we all share a dorm room… I wasn’t trying…Pl-”

Peters face was contorted with anguish and it sickened him. Or maybe he sickened himself.

“Just shut up!” He cut Peter off angrily.

He buried his face in his hands and tried to slow his breathing.

Don’t think of Lily. Don’t think of his hands on Lily. Don’t think of what they are doing now. Hold it in... Don’t.

He burst into angry tears.

“Fuck!” he cried, sinking to his knees.

Warm arms enveloped him as he rocked back and forth methodically. His brain was sluggish and hazy; failing to register the soft stroking of his hair and the low whispers in his ear.

“It will be okay… let me make it okay…” Peter murmured.

James felt a small warm hand slip down into his loose trousers. He should’ve resisted. Should have pushed Peter away and told him to sod off right then and there. But he didn’t. Instead he continued to cry in Peter’s arms and just relish in being held. Comforted.

“No…” he groaned as his body started to react to Peter’s touch.

“Shh… just let me make it okay,” Peter repeated softly.

James’ cock was now stiff and willing as Peter stroked it rhythmically.

Wrong. This is wrong. Push him away. Now!

James lifted his hand to grasp Peter’s wrist but failed to pull it away. He gritted his teeth and closed his eyes, cursing his traitorous body. It felt good. Really good. The familiar noises of wet skin-on-skin filled the silence.

Pretend it’s Lily. Pretend it’s Sirius. God pretend it’s anyone but Peter.

But images of red hair and green eyes wouldn’t stick in his mind. Nor would bright grey eyes and a doglike grin. Instead his thoughts stuck on a certain rounded boyish body and an overly pointy nose.

I do NOT find Peter attractive! No. Never. He’s positively disgusting! With those repulsive watery brown eyes and that stupid unsure smile…

James was horrified when his penis throbbed in excitement.

“D-do you like that, James?” Peter asked in a breathy whisper.

James tried to tell Peter that, no, he didn’t like being molested by someone who didn’t look like they’d even reached puberty, but all that came out was an incoherent jumble.

His body thrummed in anticipation, the nagging thoughts whirling around his brain quickly dissipating.

Oh fuck… going to come. Spill all over the inside of my pants…

He didn’t care. James’ back arched as he thrust upward to completion. He grunted loudly as all of his pent-up frustrations released themselves in a few quick bursts. Somewhere off in the distance he heard a loud doglike howl and realised in horror that someone else had found their release too.

Freshly renewed fury surged through him even as his body trembled from his orgasm and he fought to catch his breath.

“Godsdamnit, Peter, let me go!” he growled as he ripped Peter’s hand away from his spent penis.

Peter’s ragged breathing hitched and it annoyed James terribly. He rose suddenly and turned towards Peter with a glare.

“Are you deaf or does ‘no’ just not mean anything to you?” James spat viciously as Peter cowered. He noticed that Peter’s trousers were tented in the front and felt the compulsion to kick him hard in the groin.

“J-James…” Peter whimpered.

“No, Peter! Get out of my sight and go fuck yourself,” James snarled pointing to Peter suggestively. “Imagine me tied up and screaming for you to stop if you must.”

He knew he was being exceedingly cruel, but he didn’t care. The pain inside was throbbing through him in pulsing spikes. Taking it out on Peter was easy. A wonderful distraction from what was truly devastating him.

It’s Peter’s fault. All of it!

Peter’s brown eyes welled up with tears as James turned away to stalk off through the forest.

James didn’t hear the soft words that the devastated boy vowed,

“I’ll get you back for this one day, James.”

~FIN~