Why hello there, half-written blog post I forgot I had started.
So, don't judge me. When I order my groceries every month I usually order four packs of pre-sliced apples (because four is the number of packs I can eat before they start turning brown). Yes, I know that pre-sliced apples are ridiculous, but eating regular apples hurts my mouth and slicing them is messy when I'm at work and all I want is a damn apple slice. And the pack of slices, which is about equal to one medium-sized apple, only costs ten cents more than an actual apple that has not been pre-sliced for my convenience, so I don't feel too badly about it.
The point is, I usually get four little bags with an apple's worth of pre-sliced apple in them, and I eat them the first week of the month, and I am happy with my apples.
Except apparently this past month they ran out of those, so they substituted a different item (PeaPod does this, it's always kind of an adventure). The item was a pack of apple slices whose only significant difference seems to be that they're organic, except that each bag also has about two apples' worth of apple slices which is way more apple than I can eat in a sitting.
And also PeaPod gave me twelve bags of them instead of four.
There I was with, basically, twenty-four pre-sliced apples for $4, and four days in which to eat them, and also I don't know where they're sourcing their apples but they were tart enough to border on sour. And also they don't list the kind of apple you get in the bag, so I couldn't make pie because you can only really use certain apples for pie. So I made applesauce!
It might actually be more accurate to say I invented applesauce, because the recipes I found on the internet varied wildly. One called for four apples and 3/4 cups sugar, while another called for eight apples and five tablespoons of sugar, et cetera. I like sugar, so I put about sixteen apples in the slow cooker, covered them with a cup of brown sugar and one of white sugar, added about half a bottle of dried valencia orange peel and a generous sprinkling of lemon juice, poured a cup of water over the whole thing, and let it all stew for like ten hours before pureeing the crap out of it.
And now I have a gallon of applesauce I did not intend to possess when the month began.
HOW D'YA LIKE THEM APPLES?
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