Chirp Chirp [entries|friends|calendar]
Critical Cricket

[ userinfo | journalfen userinfo ]
[ calendar | journalfen calendar ]

Pretty Pretty Pictures [28 May 2009|07:35am]
[ mood | spammy ]

I made a photobucket account finally. Mostly for my LotR actor slashiness pic spam.



I also stuck some of my various wank inspired icons up there too.
post comment

Dear Local Anonymous [15 Mar 2008|03:56am]
[ mood | GRRRRRR ]

You guys fucking suck! Compared to all the other towns/states, our organization is horrible! And to up and abandon three protest locations for consolidation in a far away location? Stupid! Not everyone can drive the two and a half hours away to protest en mass! Remember that guy in Tokyo? You don't need numbers. It's about a cause you dumbasses.

post comment

[27 Feb 2008|01:07am]
From this Illustrated Scientology Volunteer Minister's Handbook, I made this.



LOL @ ScienLOLogy
post comment

It's Official! [22 Feb 2008|05:54pm]
[ mood | Candy-Coated ]

The Cult of Nice has taken over the wank comms.

post comment

Post Something! [10 Feb 2008|02:36am]
[ mood | bored ]

Recently, you get dogpiled if you post "unfunny" wank in the regular wank comms. Fair enough, it's not funny, ok. But if you post wank from a wanky standard like Oh No They Didn't or Fandom Secrets, it's too easy. ...Ok? And in the meantime, there are huge lulls (no, not lulz, unfortunately none) between posts. So to fill in these gaps, what the hell are we supposed to post? I'd rather have five easy wanks from Fandom Secrets than week long gaps between wank posts. The traffic on the wank communities has been so slow lately. People are slacking! I'm bored. :(

post comment

Recycle, Reduce, Refuse! [07 Jul 2006|05:29pm]
[ mood | Candy-Coated ]

So, now Fandom_Wank mods are allowed to repost 8 month old wank? Yay for kicking beaded horses. Buuuut, "newbies" can't point out for the 7 millionth time that its recycled wank. I don't care how many times it gets pointed out and re-pointed out, don't recycle and no one will make a peep. Try to pull a fast one and expect many someones to pipe up.

Newbie...how many years have I been on JF now? Two? Eh, it's always nice to receive compliments about your age.

Now if only I could cure my foot in mouth disease. The random typos are getting on my nerves even. The "Crystan Wank" was not funny, but the "loose at spelling" was quite the laugh. I shall remember if fondly. Crickets aren't known for their spelling anyway. Do you know how hard it is to bounce on a keyboard hard enough to push letters?

post comment

Does Not Equal [22 Jun 2006|01:54am]
More and more, as I read through wanks, I see anonymice going "JF doesn't think I exist! I'm _insertname_ on LJ."

Uh huh...kids, JF does not equal LJ. Journal Fen and Livejournal are two completely seperate sites. Of course JF is not going to acknowledge your LJ account, because on JF, it doesn't exist! Hello!
post comment

Crickets are not Furry [11 May 2006|04:16am]
I just reported the wonderful Y-Gallery/Furry Wank. I was on Y-Gallery. Visited the front page, saw the announcement and in my little cricket heart a big old "Yes! Finally!" burst out. As you can guess, the cricket is not actually a furry of any persuasion. Despite refering to herself in third person and as a cricket, she's just a big human yaoi fangirl at heart.

Though, this does bring up a thought that's always lingered in the back of my mind when thinking of furries. Why are so many furries variations of cats (lions, tigers, leopards), dogs (wolves, foxes), and reptiles (lizards, dragons, dinosaurs). Where are the ham-hams, the fieldmice, and the cute little voles? Where are the scalies? Ya know, people who are fish. Better yet, is there a bug variant of the furries? I haven't seen any butterflies, ants, worms, or crickets! Why is it that everyone wants to be the big "cool" creatures?

Ah well, furries are something I just don't understand. I don't even pretend to understand. I can tell you that they boggle me. Boggle me! The whole "we're animals, but we like being human" thing does not compute. But to each their own. So, Yiff on furries...just not on Y-Gallery ok.
post comment

Where's the Wank [16 Dec 2004|07:05pm]
Maybe it's just me, but it seems like a lot of posts are appearing on the wank communities that just aren't wanky. Like the pikachu post. Not wanky! Obsessive, but not wanky. That's just no fun. Where is the wank?
post comment

You are Snacky! [06 Dec 2004|02:40am]
[ mood | Candy-Coated ]

Uh-oh.
You are Snacky! You are obsessed with high calorie,
low health food that make everyone who loves
you fat and ugly. You do this on purpose so you
won't stand out. You made up some
"law" a while back that gets quoted
now and then, and the fame has gone to your
head. You are just nice to people's faces and
rip them to shreds behind their backs, though
your razor wit has grown dull from overuse.


What Fandom Wank Baddie Are You? (Kabal Remix)
brought to you by Quizilla

post comment

Damn Media [06 Dec 2004|01:44am]
[ mood | Pissed ]

The Media really pisses me off. Their emotional targeting systems are brutal. They target housewives with their laundry detergent ads making it seem as if one needs the brightest whites to be a good mother. It's just dirty. This ad popped up on my screen earlier.

Jewelry - Part of who you are.

That is absolute bullshit. Since when are people defined by what they wear? Yes, some people get wrapped up on fashion and "bling bling" as if it is the clothes that make the man, but it's not. Haven't they heard that it's what's on the inside that counts? People need to stop perpetuating these lies. Look where it's leading our society. Straight down the tubes.

post comment

The wank that keeps on giving? [18 Aug 2004|02:30am]
[ mood | Fan-Tabulous ]

So I am yet again thrust into the spotlight as it were. First LJDrama, then I get a coveted F_W post. What next, do I get a medal? I want a medal. How about a crown? I demand a crown! ;)

Well, I can just imagine how well this is going to go over. Can't wait to see what's in my mailbox tomorrow. Thanks guys! :o

post comment

Int3rw3b C3l3brity!!1! [13 Aug 2004|12:50am]
[ mood | *sporfle!* ]

Like OMG! I'm a real Interw3b celebrity!!11!!1

Why?

Well, a post in OTF Wank is about Nicky. Nicky is a favorite "victim" of LJ Drama. He has a whole section devoted to him.

Nicky is very homophobic and vocal about his hatred for gays. So a thread starts about what he would do if someone slashed a character based off of him. This leads to a comment about slashing Nicky with LJDrama's other favorite looney toon, Mediacrat of "I'm rich and I'm beautiful" fame.

Plot bunnies are very evil creatures. Those comments lead to my posting The Story of TRU LUV!!!. It's spur of the moment and badly written on purpose, which is harder to do than it looks, but it amuses some folks because someone posts it on LJ Drama here.

So there you have it, I'm internet famous. And someone even had my internet babies! I feel so special!

Now to sit back and wait for the shit to hit the fan.

1 comment|post comment

TRU LUV!!!111! [12 Aug 2004|04:12am]
[ mood | OMGWTF ]
[ music | Modest Mouse = This Devil's Workday ]

I need to scrub my brain. A wank about the infamous Nicky, oft times "victim" of LJDrama is wanked on. [info]llama_treats comments that someone should slash Nicky and Mediacrat. This piece of drivel artistic prose was born. Probably the only "prose" I'll stick up here. But here you are, Nicky/Mediacrat...

A Story of True Love

Nicky looked up as a body eclipsed the spare luminescence that lit his art. His ebon eyes raked, like sharp blades, over the figure before him. Who dared to disrupt his delicate creative process?

Adonis.

A Greek God, stood in golden flesh before his dilated eyes. His heart palpitated wildly in his chest cavity as if he were running a marathon to announce to his country, "Nike". His palms grew unexpectedly slick as he drank in the mysterious visitor like a tropical drink with a cherry and a pink umbrella on top.

"Who...who are you?" He asked, voice wavering, uncertain like a blushing virgin; though he wasn't, his virility was famed. Women swooned when they viewed his Hagrid-like figure gliding through dark alleys. Everyone knew that he was anatomically consistent, yet suddenly, his voice stuttered when confronted by the vision before him.

"I'm rich, and I'm beautiful." Came the soft lispy reply. It curled through the air like the bar smog and hung in a fog around his ears, ringing like small silver bells of the solstice.

Nicky caught his breathe at the musical sound, reminiscent of a sweet voiced eunuch. He opened his mouth to reply, but found that his mouth was like a desert; absent of all moisture, just arid. Endless sand and not a sound to be heard but his quite breath. Exhaling.

"Can you tell me where I can find the best place in town? I want to purchase a fine bottle of wine." The bright shade before him peered down curiously, his eyes bright like shining stars gone supernova.

Nicky's dark eyes traveled around the shadow packed bar, wondering how the angel before him had fallen into the squalid dirty hole of humanity.

"There's wine here," he quickly replied, not willing to let the heavenly creature from his sight.

"Is it any good?"

"We can find out together," Nicky said, gesturing to the cushioned stool that spewed forth its innards in colorless piles of cotton like so many sheep jumping over fences.

The incubus in human flesh glanced at the papers spread like abandoned feathers across the table and the man behind them. Long hair, black as a dying night. A beard reminiscent of a wicked villain, dark and greasy as it hung limply under his chin.

"What are you doing?" The fairy creature gestured to the thin sheets of dead trees littered with words, scrawled like insects swarming across the pages.

"I'm spilling my soul. This ink is my blood as I try to exercise the demons in my head. I am creating written art, flowing, dark, inky art." Nicky replied, hoping to capture this fae one's interest with his dark gothic mystique.

"I'm a model-photographer. My name is Grayden." The bright one offered Nicky his hand. Nicky stared at the perfectly formed fingers held out to him like some sacrifice to please the gods. He took it, grasping the equally clammy skin and grasping it close. Their hands seemed to burn one another, causing some dark stirrings to coil in his stomach. It was in that moment that a most unholy union was born. Cats yowled in agony and dogs howled in horror as they foresaw the future. The interweb would tremble before them when finally confronted with their true love.

Nicky + Mediacrat = OTP!

I need to bleach out my brain now.

P.S. Who knew it was so much work to turn out such utter shite. I was wracking my brains for so many over the top adjectives. Who knew that bad writers worked so hard to put out such crap?

4 comments|post comment

Banned! [08 Aug 2004|09:52am]
[ mood | Frivolous ]

Like OMG! I'm sooooo going to cry! I can't believe it. I've been banned from thebookyoucrew. All because I dared to make a comment. Oh! Oh woe is me! Banned! And I didn't even get to post my list ot 20 literary greats! They will never know the greatness that is The Hacker Grammar Guide!

Though they should considering the appalling grammatacal horrors that happen in that little den of circle jerk and wank. I just think they need a new hobby to draw their heads out of their asses. I hear Oprah's Book Club is always looking for new sheep.

post comment

Literary Wanky [07 Aug 2004|04:16am]
[ mood | satisfied ]

People are always so wanky about what they know. So eager to proove themselves that they don't realize how bad they are. Yeah, I do it too. Everyone does. Some people need to chill, like these people.

post comment

Sympathy for the Devil [27 Jul 2004|02:46am]
Apparently I got some really bad pic spam on my last essay post over in my livejournal. I didn't have computer access at the time, so I never saw it and LJ staff deleted the post. It was so bad though, that even one of my resident trolls offered their sympathies. How odd is that? What is this world coming to when your trolls feel sorry for you?
post comment

Almost Wank [01 Jul 2004|02:44pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Look, my little troll made my essay post an almost wank. It's only a few comments long, so it's almost wanky, but not quite.

post comment

[30 Jun 2004|03:50pm]
[ mood | *thud* ]

So I wrote this lovely little essay/rant on writing Style and posted it over in my journal. My fingers are cold now. I'm too tired for wank. I think the world is ending.

post comment

Technical difficulties [29 Jun 2004|05:29pm]
Sometimes, computers are the devil. Technical difficulties have me sitting in the library next to a ten year old looking at porn. Xp I hope my computer gets better soon. :(
post comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]