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Crysiana (![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} crysiana) wrote,@ 2007-07-21 23:22:00 |
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HP7, spoileriffic explanations
Meg asked me a few things about Deathly Hallows, which led to my explaining other, confusing things about Deathly Hallows. This amused me enough to reproduce it. There are penises involved.
Lady Crysiana: OH RIGHT. The wands thing. Okay. So Dumbledore's Facist Ex-Boyfriend got ahold of this Mythical Awesome Wand. And Dumbledore ended up going and beating him in a duel. And it turns out that this MAW changes masters when one person loses a duel to another.
Lazulisong: wait
Lazulisong: wait wait wait
Lady Crysiana: It goes to the best duelist, much like the Rose Bride.
Lady Crysiana: What?
Lazulisong: if you can replace wand with penis
Lazulisong: does it sound the same?
Lady Crysiana: And then Draco disarmed Dumbledore and got his Penis for himself, but Draco didn't realize he'd GOTTEN the penis.
Lazulisong: ..........yes it does. Carry on!
Lady Crysiana: Since Snape killed Dumbledore, it would have been logical to think that Snape got the penis, but he didn't. Voldemort goes around asking about how he can get it so that his penis and Harry's don't react to each other automatically, cos when Harry saw Voldemort at the start of the book, he dropped his penis but it went after Voldemort anyway. Voldemort finds out about the Mythical Awesome Penis and decides that's the answer to his problems.
He figures out Dumbledore had (eventually, after torturing/killing various penismakers) and takes the penis from Dumbledore's grave. Somewhere along in here, Harry and co. get captured and in a duel with Draco, Harry hits him with a spell and ends up taking his penis.
Voldemort ends up getting pissed off because the Mythical Awesome Penis isn't working for him. It's doing as good as he normally would, but he was expecting it to be...more impressive. He figures that it's because Snape killed Dumbledore, and therefore the power of the penis is really Snape's. So Voldemort kills Snape, figuring this will get him the true power of the penis. At the end, Harry ends up explaining all of this in a VERY confusing monologue about how the penis was Draco's all along and Voldemort didn't get the penis when he killed Snape because Harry had taken the Mythical Awesome Penis for himself when he beat Draco in a duel. And Voldemort tries to use the penis on Harry anyway but it backfires and kills him, because truly, the penis WAS Harry's.
Meg asked me a few things about Deathly Hallows, which led to my explaining other, confusing things about Deathly Hallows. This amused me enough to reproduce it. There are penises involved.
Lady Crysiana: OH RIGHT. The wands thing. Okay. So Dumbledore's Facist Ex-Boyfriend got ahold of this Mythical Awesome Wand. And Dumbledore ended up going and beating him in a duel. And it turns out that this MAW changes masters when one person loses a duel to another.
Lazulisong: wait
Lazulisong: wait wait wait
Lady Crysiana: It goes to the best duelist, much like the Rose Bride.
Lady Crysiana: What?
Lazulisong: if you can replace wand with penis
Lazulisong: does it sound the same?
Lady Crysiana: And then Draco disarmed Dumbledore and got his Penis for himself, but Draco didn't realize he'd GOTTEN the penis.
Lazulisong: ..........yes it does. Carry on!
Lady Crysiana: Since Snape killed Dumbledore, it would have been logical to think that Snape got the penis, but he didn't. Voldemort goes around asking about how he can get it so that his penis and Harry's don't react to each other automatically, cos when Harry saw Voldemort at the start of the book, he dropped his penis but it went after Voldemort anyway. Voldemort finds out about the Mythical Awesome Penis and decides that's the answer to his problems.
He figures out Dumbledore had (eventually, after torturing/killing various penismakers) and takes the penis from Dumbledore's grave. Somewhere along in here, Harry and co. get captured and in a duel with Draco, Harry hits him with a spell and ends up taking his penis.
Voldemort ends up getting pissed off because the Mythical Awesome Penis isn't working for him. It's doing as good as he normally would, but he was expecting it to be...more impressive. He figures that it's because Snape killed Dumbledore, and therefore the power of the penis is really Snape's. So Voldemort kills Snape, figuring this will get him the true power of the penis. At the end, Harry ends up explaining all of this in a VERY confusing monologue about how the penis was Draco's all along and Voldemort didn't get the penis when he killed Snape because Harry had taken the Mythical Awesome Penis for himself when he beat Draco in a duel. And Voldemort tries to use the penis on Harry anyway but it backfires and kills him, because truly, the penis WAS Harry's.
