Tonstant Weader Fwowed Up
Monday, September 29, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
12:13PM - Music Meme
Stolen from ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
barahnky
* Put your music player on random.
* Post the first line from the first 32 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
* Let everyone guess what song and artist the lines come from.
* Bold the songs when someone guesses correctly.
* Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is admitting you have a tiny penis, even if you're a lady.
( I cut because I care. )
Thursday, August 14, 2008
11:56AM - Crossposted from LJ
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
9:13AM - Meme!
Stolen from harrylovesron and donna. Take five of your fictional crushes then list five reasons why it wouldn't work out in real life.
1. Sherlock Holmes: Well, there's that whole misogynist thing. That would get old really fast.
2. DCS Jane Tennison: Pretty sure she's relentlessly straight. However, if Helen Mirren would ever like to walk on the Sapphic side, I would volunteer like a shot. Have you seen the bikini pictures?!?
3. Severus Snape: I'm not Lily and the hair thing would really bother me.
4. The Emcee from Cabaret: I would have thought of a reason, but I'm too busy staring at my icon.
5. This is a couple crush - Lord Peter Wimsey and Harriet Vane: They're too much into each other to admit a third although I have my suspicions about Bunter and keeping up the conversation in literary quotations would be so complicated. I did realize that my ex-husband and I used to converse entirely in quotations, but since they were from M*A*S*H, Friends and Will Ferrell movies, it doesn't quite have the same cachet.
Monday, June 23, 2008
9:06AM
Happy Birthday HLR! I hope it's full of the most wonderful hot smutty porn imaginable!
&hearts
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
9:26AM - Waiting for the phone to ring
I'm expecting a TON of new business in the coming weeks. After all, gay marriage began yesterday in California. As the inevitable destruction of all hetero marriages begins spreading Eastward, I estimate it should hit Colorado sometime next week, although the more fragile het marriages may fall apart sooner. As a divorce lawyer, I for one welcome the end of society as we know it.
x-posted to el-jay
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
9:55AM
The good news is that the new Weezer video is currently my Thing of Great Happiness. The bad news -- the way today is going, I'm on my third viewing. :(
Thursday, October 11, 2007
12:47PM
Dear ex-husband,
Thank you for your recent repeated verbal submissions of your latest work All Shall Love Me and Despair: Why damnedfallacy Fails As a Human, Mother and Wife And How I Put Up With Her in My Usual Saintlike Manner.
While I shall always remain a huge fan of our two ongoing performance art collaborations ("Son 1" and "Son 2"), I regret to inform you that your work does not meet our requirements at this time. Frankly, ever since that Million Little Pieces debacle, there is no market for fantasy works masquerading as non-fiction.
However, if I may be so bold as to make a recommendation, there is another agency currently seeking persons able to rewrite history as they wish it would have happened rather than being bothered by pesky facts. Submissions for the project (working title: Legacy) may be submitted for the next 466 days to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, D.C.
We wish you would fall off a cliff the very best in your future endeavors.
Sincerely especially about that falling off the cliff part,
Me.
x-posted to LJ
Thursday, September 20, 2007
3:53PM
Ok, the damned isopods freak me out enough without them having giant isopod flirting fests.
As a wise man named Bill the Cat once said, "Phbbbbbbt!"
1:04PM
There's a good chance I'm going to be posting and replying a lot today. I'm kind of punchy because I was all geared up for this nasty child-custody hearing this afternoon and then SOMEONE FUCKING THREATENED MY STAR WITNESS! Now, they're refusing to testify to anything at all ever. Rather than putting them on the stand and having them risk contempt by refusing to testify (they're a witness and have no potential criminal liability, so they can't claim 5th Amend.), I got a continuance by begging and pleading. Now I have to figure out how to fix this goddamn mess.
Plus, I'm all ready for a fight and nobody's in the office but the dog, and she's no fun to fight with because her "Baroo?" face wins every time.
9:35AM - Yeah. This is about right.
I'm cynical. In other news, water remains wet.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
6:20PM - E-cards are love.
These make me happy in my happy place. I am SO sending a few of them out.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
4:14PM - Why I love my boyfriend.
I was just in his office bitching about how much I don't want to write this letter, and commented that it was going to be hard figuring out how to translate "Your client is batshit insane" into lawyerese.
Now that I'm back at my desk still avoiding writing the fucking letter, an interoffice IM pops up from him. "Dear (opposing counsel), While we appreciate that your client is seeking full custody of the children, I feel certain that the Court will consider the guano-esque character of her mental stability when making its final decision."
I love that man.
Monday, August 13, 2007
3:29PM - Meme
INTERVIEW MEME TIME!
THE RULES:
1. Leave me a comment saying anything random, likeyour favorite lyric to your current favorite song. Or your favoritekind of sandwich. Or your favorite breed of tropical fish/kind of bug/breed of dog. Something random. Whatever you like.
2. I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better.
3. Update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. Include this explanation and offer to ask someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be asked, you will ask them five questions.
( And my answers to harrylovesron's questions )
9:11AM - Dear Santa,
Yes, I know it's August. I like to beat the rush.
I've been very good - well, for me - this year. So this year I'd like:
(1) a gozillion dollars;
(2) Dita Von Teese all for my very own; and
(3) the kind of Super Perfect Special Snowflake Princess life that enables me to work up a load of butthurt when someone is OMGMEEN to me on the Internet because I don't have more important things to worry about.
Sincerely,
Me
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
3:10PM - Dear Universe,
I know that I desperately needed to clean my bathroom floor. I also know that I didn't want to attend my meeting this afternoon.
Do you think that there might possibly have been a better way to accomplish those goals than a sewage backup?
Tiredly,
Me.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
3:49PM - Isaiah Washington/John McCain OTP!!!!1!!!1
John McCain blames it all on 'gay sweaters.' Contrary to what you might hope think, Googling "gay sweaters" with SafeSearch off brings up no porn - at least on the first few pages.
Dear John McCain,
FAIL!
me
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
4:31PM
Happiness is when your boss breaks out the beer for everyone at 4 p.m. the day before a holiday.
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