Vampire Deacon Frost, an Abercrombie & Fitch model, a dude from Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, and Edith Piaf join Captain Jack Sparrow. They rob banks and evade Batman.

Come on. If you didn’t want to see Public Enemies before, surely you want to see it now.

I'm in the middle of a huge, very freakishly long review of Sweeney Todd, which I viewed last night.

Months of waiting for "Pretty Women" were well worth those few minutes. That was SEXY. And I don't mean just sexy, I mean it was SEX-Y. That was the slashiest, most subtextual version of that song ever. If I didn't know better, I would've thought they were about to tear off their clothes and go fuck.

For realz, people.

Well, no hangover from the booze. How very nice.

Today, I got a very nice a thorough massage from Buzz--on my left boob. Same time tomorrow, Buzz, only we'll do the right one. Damn cat--she's neurotic because Hyde isn't here.

Does anyone know where I can buy an Ed Sanders? I really want one.

Holy God, they closed the college tomorrow.

YES. YES. YES.

*leaps about and takes off all of her clothes in celebration--which doesn't last long, as it is still absolutely freezing*

Ninety-five percent of kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who are'nt, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list.

...

I love irony so much.

Found at this unique little typist's profile at the Pit.

I am fuckin' freezing, here. The weather just turned nasty as hell. And right before finals week, too. Oh joy. A 45 minute drive over lots of bridges has just turned into probably a three-hour drive over grease. YAY. I AM SO HAPPY.

*drinks*

I had a dream that I watched a tractor with a big brushhog mower behind it run over two COWS. I think if there hadn't been so much blood and gore and the remains hadn't looked the way they had afterwards, I would've been much less disturbed.

I've had weird dreams before, but that right there was fucked up.

Fun with a tesla coil.

That was just awesome.

I've ALWAYS wanted to say this...

I'M BATMAN.

Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Batman, the Dark Knight As the Dark Knight of Gotham, Batman is a vigilante who deals out his own brand of justice to the criminals and corrupt of the city. He follows his own code and is often misunderstood. He has few friends or allies, but finds comfort in his cause. Batman, the Dark Knight 96% Indiana Jones 83% Captain Jack Sparrow 75% William Wallace 71% Maximus 58% Lara Croft 50% James Bond, Agent 007 50% The Amazing Spider-Man 50% Neo, the "One" 46% The Terminator 42% El Zorro 29%

Sanctuary of Arda has been plagiarized! Whatever shall the fans do?!

The irony of this situation is not lost upon me, considering Halcyon has plagiarized from The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Quake II, Neverwinter Nights, WarCraft, Stargate: SG1, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Tom Clancy novels, and various fanfics across the web, the most prominent being S'Tarkan's fic "Harry Potter and the Nightmares of Futures Past." Not to mention God knows what else. If Halcyon himself weighs in on this situation, I am biting my tongue no longer and calling him out--because him getting mad at someone plagiarizing him will simply be too much.

Title: Business as Usual
Fandom: Once Upon a Time in Mexico/Harry Potter
Characters: Agent Sheldon Jeffrey Sands/Professor Severus Tobias Snape
Prompt: #38, Touch
Word Count: 300
Rating: R for “sexuality” and some foul language
Summary: Snape. Sands. The Game.
Author’s Notes: Snape and Sands. Just a little ditty for me to practice writing these two. I decided to try and write a scene using dialogue only, and not have it be a brawl, like it normally would. This is what I came up with. Imagine the pauses and actions for yourself, and as to what the competition was all about…I’m going to leave that to you. Like I said, use your imagination. I sure did. ‘Scuse me. Back to my bunk.

( Business as Usual )

Being it’s Halloween (or at least around there), I figured a nice little history lesson would be nice. That, and I wanted to write something.

( THE SLASHER )

Swiped from kayljay over on livejournal.

( I love shit like this. )

( Cut for those who blog at work )
So, I guess I'm gonna have two copies until I find someone to take the unwanted one off my hands. Phooey.

But before I declare it TMI Time, I just want to flaunt around the new Sweeney Todd trailer. And yell at them in general because I WANT ONE OF THE MUSICAL TRAILERS NOW, DAMMIT, YOU GAVE US TWO HORROR TRAILERS, THEY WERE BOTH GREAT, NOW GIVE US SOME GODDAMN SINGING. The Judge singing, that is.

But I think it was a red-screen trailer--blood, blood, glorious blood. And on the subject of blood, it is now ( TMI Time! )

Mittens!

My two cousins, who are effectively my nephews, are coming to visit in two days. We plan on taking them around town--Omniplex, zoo, the Sam Noble Museum. They are into that kind of stuff. I hope we show them a good time.

Jan in the Pan is on i-mockery. Gotta show that to the MST3K community.

Sorry this took so long, but I got wordy, Sands got wordy, and it was just a miserable excuse for a fic. That, and I spent a lot of time screaming “WHY???!!!!” to the heavens as I read this, and not just in the “Why, God?” fashion.

The previous sporking of this fic is here, along with the profile. Here’s the next part! Part one, of chapter two!

( Harry has a prophetic dream…where he beats the game Neverwinter Nights 2—WITHOUT THE WALKTHROUGH!!! )

And because I’m a notoriously wordy sporker, I had to break the chapter up into two parts because it was getting too long. Part Two coming soon of a very special chapter—special, in that I want to kill something after I’m done reading it.

Okay! Let's see. I saw the Sweeney Todd trailer, and that was awesome. Alan Rickman is hot and he has no business being hot because he's a filthy filthy pedophile in this movie. Johnny Depp can sure pull off the ANGRY EYES. And the whole, "My razor blades...let us elope...we can get married...although sex will be awkward" thing works out great when he's petting them.

I am in the middle of making some new icons--from the trailer, a load from Pulp Fiction, and a lot of MST3K quotes. I'm having fun!

Raven and I are finishing up the second chapter of that Gladiator fic. And I finished the Forgotten Realms crap. PRODUCTIVE!!!

'Kay, that's it.

All journalists must carry an urban dictionary with them when writing articles--and the slang section for "penis" must be bookmarked.

From an article on Sweeney Todd:

"Oh, you know it's a happy holiday movie when you have a musical decked in red: Blood. And the main character is a guy with white hair: a killer barber. And the pie is not made of mincemeat, but man-meat."

Now, just what is wrong with this picture?

Well. This is JUST PEACHY.

Got an email alert—dum dum dum, Halcyon updated that stupid Ring of Ancients fic again. Fart. Well, nothing you can do for it. And, since I'm silly like that and like to archive the worst of the worst so I can mock them later and format them like mad (since that's the only way I'll ever read them), I went to his homepage. And what should I find but YET ANOTHER story in the works!

</blockquote>Harry Potter and the Forgotten Realms
He is destined for something greater in scope than can be imagined. He is a nexus. A confluence. His choices a catalyst for events that that will lead to the deliverance of two Realms from the shadow.
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,143 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 9-5-07 - Published: 9-5-07</blockquote>Nothing new, I thought. More of his stupid “Harry Potter = Fantasy = D&D/LotR/World of Warcraft/Star Wars” logic which everyone knows doesn’t work, as the magic in those stories is quite often part of a religious order and somewhat mystical, while the magic in Harry Potter is just, you know—magic. There are no mitochondria or midichlorides or whatever the hell they are involved, nor are there friendly or evil spirits that channel magic, nor do the wizards commune with nature and allow the trees to assist them. It’s just magic. So, I open it up and ho ho, the first half of it is nothing but plagiarism from the first chapter of HPPS/SS. So far, so Halcyon. Then I get to this part.


My fascination with your Realm did not leave me however. And so I would return from Faerun on occasions. When I met and befriended Lily I would return to her during the Summers where I would teach her of the Arcane in the manner of my people. I wish to remain modest, but I will say that some of her prodigious skill in matters of the Arcane can be laid squarely on my doorstep. What was that wonderful expression I heard: ‘A Teacher shows his student the right door, but it is the student who has to go through.’.

She was such. And it is most likely thanks to her further experimentation with the Arcane, building from the little of what I taught her, that she invoked the ancient magicks that I had not seen since the days of the first rise of the Illefarn Empire, roughly ten thousand years ago, by timekeeping on Earth. It was this, which caused the Death Curse to rebound on its caster…</blockquote>
Bolded and underlined mine.

I know we always talked about how this idiot missed the entire point of the HP books, but I’ve never seen him so blatantly show it until now. Book VII is out—but it’s been established since Book Frickin’ I that Lily stopped the AK with her sacrifice and love, inadvertently invoking love magic. SACRIFICE AND LOVE. She didn’t cast a spell when she did it—all it took was her begging Voldemort to kill her first, even though she had a chance to step out of the way (Thank you, Snape—that was sweet of you).

So now, he decides to come in and stick some random Elf in the middle of it all, saying that HE taught her how to do that? Saying it was this stupid magic from another canon that did it and completely taking love out of the equation?

Lord Voldemort would be proud.