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Saturday, August 29th, 2009
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12:32 am - Independence Day
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Independence. It means different things to different people, and comes to different people at different ages depending on their circumstances. Freedom is hard to achieve. Independence is somewhat easier. Well. Sometimes. There are different sorts of families after all. Four main categories, really.
There are families that shove their kids out the door as soon as they legally can, whether or not the kid is ready. These people tend to be selfish fucks who never wanted to be parents in the first place. A case of independence being not granted, but rather shoved onto some poor teen who is barely old enough to work, let alone support themselves through school. There are families that gently but firmly send their children out into the world after completing high school, and provide varying amounts of assistance (from none to only as needed, to a small but regular allowance to assist living expenses) in order to teach their child independence . This is entirely reasonable in my opinion. There are families who allow their child to live with them while completing their tertiary education and only insist on them moving out when they’re prepared with a job and a degree. Again, this isn’t unreasonable – tertiary education isn’t cheap and if you’re studying by distance or the university/college/whatever that you want to attend is close enough to home that there’s no point in boarding there, then I don’t see why not so long as both parent(s) and child are fine with it and the ground rules are made clear. Both the second and third options are within the healthy realm of family bonds, IMHO.
( And then there are families like mine. )
Still, I’m going to do my best. Wish me luck, everyone!
current mood: Determined
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| Friday, December 5th, 2008
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3:35 pm - Whoa. Long Time, No Update!
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Well well. It's been almost a year without an update from me. Sadly, all good things must come to and end, and so has my silence.
I have returned.
Of course, I am about to embark upon a week of violence against my health at the Gold Coast (fine restaurants, watch out. Here I come!) And it's December so most of the rest of the time I will be hard at work for my volunteer time. yay.
But I wish everyone all a Happy Holiday (whatever you believe) from the bottom of my heart. Tiny Tim may have annoyed us all with the phrase "God bless us, every one." but it's still a statement of love and goodwill towards man, and I give it to you all in that vein.
Love,
Jen.
current mood: Caffeinated
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| Sunday, January 6th, 2008
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5:03 pm - Happy New Year!
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This really really is a HAPPY new Year for me. My Dad is home and mostly healthy - he has mild emphysema and can never smoke again, plus he needs a walker to travel more than a few mentres at a time (ie outside) and he must constantly see doctors and specialists of all kinds, but he is home to us and for that I am thankful beyond all measure.
Lana is doing well and Adam is growing strong and healthy - I saw them both at Christmas and was glad, as I haven't seen her for a year.
And the best joy - I received an email from Ian, and now we are talking to one another again. I have a huge part of my life back in my heart, and I am so happy. Lana and Ian are the only two people in Real Life who really know me and accept me 100%, and Lana's been so busy with her life in Sydney that of course she can't spend nearly as much time with me as we did back in our uni days. So I'm rejoicing beyond measure that Ian is happy and genuinely wants me back in his life. The Ian-shaped hole in my heart is now full.
current mood: Blessed
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| Wednesday, September 12th, 2007
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1:38 pm
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Yes, it seems like a dream after so many weeks of waiting and hospital visiting, but it seems that the rehab staff are incredibly pleased with Dad's progress. They're having a meeting today to decide when Dad will be officially discharged from the hospital. I... I am just stunned, it's been so long, but he could be out as early as tomorrow if things go really well!
It'll be interesting to see how things are at home now. Dad certainly will have to do what Mum does from now on - when he wakes up, he goes downstairs and stays there until it's time to go upstairs to bed. No more going upstairs and downstairs at will for him. Which means that now neither of them can do that, I'll be the one traversing the stairs several times a day to be the fetch-and-carry person. Not that I didn't do that for Mum before - doubly so when Dad was in hospital and unable to do it at all - but now they're both going to be depending on me a lot. It's kind of a strange feeling.
But still, I'd much rather have that if it means that Dad comes home!
current mood: jubilant
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| Tuesday, August 14th, 2007
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5:08 pm - Colonoscopies and Dad's Ongoing Hospitalisation
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Okay. First, I'll handle Dad's most recent update. Apparently the report from "Doctor Doom-And-Gloom" as Mum refers to him (about the possibility of going on life support) really was the kick in the pants Dad needed to get his mental state in gear. It's odd, but it seems that he finally realises that he won't just wake up one day and feel all better - he's got to work for it. The scary thing is that his brothers have both mentioned how frail he looks, and since they've only visited him a few times we haven't the heart to tell them that he actually looks a lot better. His eyes are brighter and he's on a slightly different mix of antibiotics to combat the pnuemonia. As we constantly get reminded, he's not out of the woods yet, but personally I'm feeling much more confident now.
And now to my colonoscopy experience. I can pretty much say that the worst part is the preparation for it that you have to go through beforehand, though the actual probing isn't fun either.
( Cut for lots of info of the 'Did she really need to tell us all this?!' variety. )
So I got dressed and the doc told us that I was fine, everything seemed in order down there and I didn't have to come back for another five to ten years. I think I'll go back every five years - given that my mum, her brother, and my dad's mother all had bowel cancer at some point, checking up on a more regular basis might be a good idea.
And now I'm home and can eat what I like. YAY!
current mood: hungry
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| Friday, August 10th, 2007
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2:52 pm - Back In The ICU
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Well, this sucks. Seriously.
Last night we got a phone call that Dad was being transferred to the Gosford ICU and could we come in please? So again Val took us in - this time Nicole came along with us. Dad really was in emergency this time - in a ward marked "Rescusitation" which scared the hell out of Mum and I. Oddly enough, last night he seemed much more lucid and articulate than he had even been earlier that day (the 'eat-your-damn-lunch' day). This morning we travelled to Gosford to see him in the ICU and the doctor came and talked to us honestly, which we needed. But it was also not great news.
( Basically, nobody knows... )
I don't know anymore. I don't know anything.
current mood: Forlorn
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| Thursday, August 9th, 2007
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4:09 pm - Cheer Up, Emo Dad
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Well, I really wish he would. As it is, he's not helping himself at all.
( Of letters and meals )
To top it all off, I have a colonoscopy on Tuesday. Oh, joy rapture.
current mood: stressed
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| Thursday, August 2nd, 2007
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2:13 pm - My 29th year on this planet is not going too good.
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As I said, I have recently had my 28th birthday (on the 23rd July, a day after my last post). That means I have entered my 29th year of life on this planet. And so far? Frankly it could have been a lot better.
On Saturday night we got called in to the hospital - no details except that Dad was a medical emergency and to hurry. It was the third time in nine weeks that I have been truly frightened for my Dad's life. As it turned out, it was a false alarm - the intern who examined Dad's xray didn't know what the huge pnuemonia in his right lung was, and none of the nurses around knew either. They couldn't get hold of a doctor to find out, so they listed him as a medical emergency to get the doctors in (and freak us out in the process). Now, I'd much rather that happen than for them to have a real problem and not call us, don't get me wrong, but it was more stress.
( And Dad's father strikes back from beyond the grave to be a bastard again. )
So, yes. Please keep Dad in your prayers/thoughts and pray for the inner strength needed for him to persevere for his own sake and for ours. Also, please keep LJ's ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif) deference_need in your thoughts and prayers too - her kidneys are acting up again and she needs medical treatment.
current mood: confused
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| Wednesday, July 25th, 2007
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3:59 pm - Oooh, a Cyborg Avatar!
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| Tuesday, July 24th, 2007
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3:23 pm - Big Book 7 Spoilers - In Defense of Dumbledore.
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Okay. This post will be full of a rather annoyed rant about a cetain complaint that is currently circulating around fandom about a plot aspect in Deathly Hallows Now, the bitching about ships? I was ready for it. More than ready for it. The bitching about a certain female character's death at the hands of another female character? BITCHES PLEASE, but I'll save that rant for later. Plenty of other people are saying it better than I ever could anyway.
However. There's one thing I refuse to let go of till I've cleared my chest of the rage. Oh no. So, here we go.
( In Defense Of Albus Dumbledore )
That is all.
current mood: Dangerous
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| Sunday, July 22nd, 2007
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3:49 pm - Dazed And Confused
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Well. It's been a heck of a time since I posted last. So I will divide things up into the good and the bad.
THE GOOD:
On Thursday I had my hair done at Jodie's (it desperately needed a cut) but what was even better was that she had some really wacky colours that she wanted to try out on me, and so I was delighted to agree. Normally Mum would never have allowed it, but I think that because my birthday is tomorrow she let it slide. So Jodie blonded a whole bunch of streaks, and then she put in three different colours - bright red, bright blue, and a really lovely purple amongst my regular medium-brown. It looks so good - the only bad thing is that the blue didn't fully take, it ended up going to this kind of blue-green and now is a definite green. But it still looks good and I like it. Very Tonksian.
So I went to the launch party at Border on Saturday and got my copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and definitely enjoyed it. I spent a bit more money while there than I'd intended to, but that is what credit cards are for. Got a few compliments on my hair, too. And yes, I've completed the book and all I have to say is WOW. A great ending to a great book series, though I was bawling like a baby throughout a lot of it. I saw parallels in that book to at least one thing in all the six previous books, which was frankly amazing. JKR is an incredibly powerful writer and I was riveted.
THE BAD:
Dad's having not so good a time. He's having temperature spikes of a night, which apparently means that something else is still wrong. They may even have to open him up again (for a third time!) to try and find out what's wrong. I'm getting scared that he'll never come home. It's been two months now! I truly believed, even after all of it, that he'd be home for my birthday. But he won't. He has to come home soon though. He just HAS to.
I don't know what to think anymore.
current mood: numb
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| Wednesday, July 11th, 2007
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6:34 pm - And Here We Go Again, This Is Sickening...
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So. Now, on top of everything, Dad has pneumonia. It's nothing serious, we've been assured, but it still sets him back into the hospital a bit longer yet. Which sucks.
Worse, he's beginning to get panic attacks. Now, I can understand this - to my knowledge he hasn't been in hospital this long ever in his life, and hasn't been in hospital at all since just before my little sister was conceived (she turns 27 next month) so he's not happy. But this just adds more stress on Mum, because she's the one that has to talk him out of them. See, his family (being total Entitlement Whores) have a tendancy to simply let themselves sink into the morass and have everyone else dance around them, waiting on them hand and foot. Grandma (Dad's mother) did this a lot, particularly in her last few years, and so Mum's cracking down on it hard before Dad has a chance to get into the habit of wallowing.
And when she's stressed, she likes to talk about these things, or anything else. At great length. Usually to me. And since my coping mechanism for stress is to bury myself in books, movies, internet or anything else to take my mind off things for a while, obviously we can't both be indulging in our coping mechanisms at once.
Frankly, we're both on edge, but probably Mum more so. I don't know what the hell to do.
current mood: Flattened
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| Thursday, July 5th, 2007
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8:50 pm - Funerals and Family Trees
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So, Mum and I went to Uncle John's (that's what I will call him, since trying to keep track of relations has been very complicated today) funeral. Everybody was very glad to see us there, apparently. We were taken there by Stephen and Sandy, Mum's second cousins (I think.) It surprised me to discover in the car on the way home that they were married - I'd somehow gotten the impression that he was her son! (I'd said nothing on the subject though, so thank heavens for THAT!)
The service was beautiful, as was the chapel it was held in - it reminded both me and Mum of the Hillside Chapel in the Collaroy Centre that the Salvation Army runs. Up high on a hill with lots of walls that are windows top to bottom, so that you can see out over the lovely view. Except this one didn't have the lights that attracted moths determined to immolate themselves in the light. (I swear, I don't think I've ever been in the Collaroy chapel without having the burnt smell of kamikaze moth assualting my nose.)
Afterwards we went to a close-by place for a family gathering and it was really nice - the coffee was hot and strong, and there were sandwiches and scones. I asked one of the staff if that was all there was (explaining that I was gluten-intolerant) and when I was told there was nothing else, I ate a couple of each. To my surprise though, the same lady came out of the kitchens a little while later bearing a tray with sliced carrot, capsicum and cucumber and a bowl of dip made from pumpkin and coriander pesto. That was really nice of them, and I made sure to tell them so.
Apparently everyone in that branch of my family are:
A) Still Very Very Angry at Nanna for telling them that we were snobs and didn't want anything to do with them, and
B) Absolutely mad about genealogy. People were pulling out family trees everywhere you looked, checking to see where you were in relation to them. One guy didn't have our side of the family on his tree at all, and thus was terribly confused when I told him that my mother was Margaret's cousin and he didn't have a clue who she was, even after I mentioned both Mum's maiden name and Nanna's maiden name.
So now I've been roped into helping with the family trees as well as looking up tartans for Scottish clans. In addition, Mum was showing me someone else's book whereupon it was proved that her great-grandfather (and thus my great-great-grandfather) was apparently illegitimate. Then she looked up at me for a reaction. I finally settled for "Um... that's interesting?" I'd just like to note here that Mum is not interested in family trees any more than I am, she just is better at pretending.
Still, I'm really happy to have met everyone all at once, though of course I wish it could have been under better circumstances.
current mood: thoughtful
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| Saturday, June 30th, 2007
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4:36 pm - Fuck No, Not More Bad News....
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Hoo boy. So, we were visiting my dad today in hospital. When we left, we walked to the train station (where the bus stops are) and it was while we were waiting there that Mum got a call on her mobile phone.
Her cousin Margaret's husband, John, passed away today after a sudden heart attack.
Shit.
( Now, this requires a bit of background. )
You know, they were all praying for Dad's condition. We've had many phone calls a day (okay, the phone's been ringing off the bloody hook and sometimes it seems as though the phone has been surgically grafted onto poor Mum's ear) and while a large amount of them have been from our church family and Dad's family (brothers, nephews and nieces, sisters-in-law and brothers-in-law etc), a lot have also been from Mum's sister Aunty Daphne and the extended family.
I know for a fact that as a Christian, Margaret has been praying for weeks for the health of Mum's husband, only to lose her own. Apparently he said to her on Tuesday that he didn't think he could take it much longer (according to Mum, he'd had heart problems and kidney problems and stuff) but the heart attack was, as I said, quite sudden and unexpected - at least as far as I know, it was.
I remember in 6th grade that a friend of mine fought with a mutual friend of ours, and in a burst of temper wrote vicious insults all over her homework diary. I discovered this, much to her embarrassment, when a teacher marched up (more amused than anything, truth be told) and held out the diary asking "Is this yours, Melissa?" at a page which prominently shouted in caps "CHANTEL SUX DONKEYS NUTS."
Yeah. THIS sucks donkey's nuts. Bigtime.
current mood: miserable
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4:02 pm - Hermione is a Mini-Umbridge!
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After all of the batshittery we've seen recently from pstibbons and hir stance on Hermione being the most important character in the books, on a level with Mother Theresa and even Harry is not worthy of her in canon, I have decided to re-post my list of how Hermione is like Umbridge as an antidote to all this worship of Saint Hermione of Granger.
I remain firmly convinced after re-reading OOTP that the whole reason Umbridge and Hermione hated each other on sight is that each of them subconsciously recognised too much of themselves in the other, while similtaneously despising all that the other stood for. I also think that without friends like Harry and Ron to drag her out of her books and into the real world occasionally, Hermione may very well have grown up to be another Dolores Umbridge - relentless, ruthless, patronising and narrow-minded, unable to see any viewpoint but her own.
Why do I think this?
( And I Shall Call Her Mini-Hem-Hem! )
Sorry to anyone who's seen this before, but I thought it bore a repost.
current mood: E-V-O-L
current music: The sound of me plotting against The Batshit...
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| Wednesday, June 27th, 2007
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2:05 pm - Dad's aneurysm operation
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| Friday, June 22nd, 2007
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11:34 am - Something to care about
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Despite my constant sarcasm on ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/community.gif) the_hms_stfu and fandom_wank and the like, I actually DO have a soft heart underneath the bitchy exoskeleton, and I DO give a damn about a lot of things. As such, this post is going to be some shameless pimping of sites that absolutely deserve to be promoted at every available opportunity.
http://www.thehungersite.com/
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/
http://www.thechildhealthsite.com/
http://www.theliteracysite.com/
http://www.therainforestsite.com/
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/
All of these sites link to each other, so you only need click on one to take you to a page where you can access the others. Each page has a button where you can make a daily click to give to others in need (staple food, health services, and the like.) It doesn't cost you anything but a few minutes of your time. Please consider doing it - and even more so, bookmarking at least one of the pages so that you can go back every day and click again.
I actually cheat a little bit - I click on all the buttons once a day in Internet Explorer, then I boot up Netscape and click on all of them again. I don't know if this trick works, but I'll keep doing it on the chance that it does and I'm giving more help to others less fortunate than myself. Because I know exactly how damn fortunate I am, and if a few minutes out of my day clicking the buttons again ends up helping a bit more, then I'll damn well do it.
Love to all. Please think about it, yeah?
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| Tuesday, June 19th, 2007
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1:16 pm - Computer dramas and Massage pains
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Okay. So for ages I've been trying to make my computer run my beloved copy of Zork: Grand Inquisitor but every time I tried to actually run the game, it would just tell me "Please insert Disc 1" and I'm sitting there screaming "The disc is IN the CD-ROM drive! You twit!" After countless uninstalls, reinstalls and the same result, I finally came to the conclusion that the game must be busted, or else my computer might not run it (sometimes the older games don't run on newer computers. Something about code or software or whatnot.) So, I bid on another copy on Ebay, along with a copy of Myst III: Exile. I received the games and tried installing Zork. Again, flawless installation, refusal to play, "please insert disc 1". Sighing, I tried installing Myst. Flawless installation, a request to "insert the disc" ... only this time the DVD-ROM drive automatically pops open and sits there, laughing at me.
I stare at it. No. It CANNOT be that simple. I already TRIED that... didn't I? So, I put the Myst disc in the DVD-ROM drive and off it goes beautifully. So, back to Zork. Reinstall once more, with feeling... insert disc 1 into DVD-ROM drive and off it goes.
Huh.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm glad to have my Zork: GI game working. I love that damn game. But oddly enough, I always thought that a PC game with CD-ROM discs would normally be inserted into the CD-ROM drive to play, no? Silly me, apparently. Oh well. So now I have THREE copies of Zork: Grand Inquisitor - two official ones, and one not-quite-legal one that Ian made for me ages ago. Dunno what I'm going to do with the spares.
And Remedial Massage 2 started last night. The teacher wanted a volunteer to demonstrate the techniques on before we all split up and started working on it ourselves in pairs. Again, silly me. I volunteered. Now, most of the people in Remedial Massage 2 have done Remedial Massage 1. This makes about the fourth time I've been his test dummy. That's more than anyone else in the class. For some reason I keep volunteering, thinking I could do with a massage. I keep forgetting that the bastard is a professional with very strong muscles and really puts his weight into it. So he's knuckling with what feels like his entire weight across my iliotibial tract (a band of muscle on the outer side of the thigh that connects from your tibia to your hip) and I'm yelping "sweet buggery FUCK!" The class thinks this is funny. John (teacher) thinks it's even funnier. I'm lying there helplessly thinking "yeah, you just wait. I'm not the one dumb enough to have given out my telephone number to the class and to say we're welcome to call any time of day or night. You wait until 3am, you bastard. Just you wait."
Another crazy thing - at the very first class of Remedial Massage 1 at the beginning of the year, few of us brought towels or oils or any other massage neccessities. I didn't. John frowned and gave us all a stern lecture: "You WILL be massaging every week. BRING YOUR TOWELS, BRING YOUR OILS. Every week." Fine. So I remembered this and brought my towels and oils for the first class. So did three other people, out of a class of about thirteen. All but two of them had BEEN in Rem Massage 1 earlier this year and should have known better. John gave the lecture again, but this time it was with a "I really don't BELIEVE this" expression. Couldn't really blame him. If I could remember with my Dad in hospital and all the dramas at the end of Rem Massage 1 (it happened right when the theory and practical assessments were on) then I don't see how they couldn't!
current mood: contemplative
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| Sunday, June 10th, 2007
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1:29 pm - Cyclone Level One
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Whoa. So, lucky us, we had a cyclone level one in our area the other night. Water levels cutting off roads here there and everywhere, winds going like mad, and our power was out for over 24 hours. (Ever tried to deal with Nicole and trying to explain to her that no, she couldn't watch her DVDs and it wasn't because her TV was "broken" while you are suffering from caffeine withdrawal because you can't even boil the kettle for a hot cup of coffee or tea? Not fun, I tell you.) Since I rely mainly on electronics such as my videogames and the internet for my entertainment, it was a miserable time. Cold, dark (and because of Nicole and the cats we didn't dare light candles, mum has a holy horror of the idea that they can start fires anyway) and trying to get hold of people on phones to see if they were alright. The lady next door to us is on oxygen and since our whole street lost power I think she was taken to hospital. I'm glad Dad is still in hospital - at least he was warm and had hot food and TV to keep him occupied. Yesterday we went to visit him via bus and the amount of trees we'd seen that had been blown down, or roads flooded by water - it was frightening. Mum and I had already battled outside in the wind and rain to get outside furniture inside or taken down and apart so they wouldn't blow away and hit something - or someone. Freezing cold work, but we did pretty good for two women, one with two knee replacements and the other half-blind and not very strong
We were better off than a lot of people though - eight people have been confirmed dead (including three children all under the age of ten) and a ninth is missing. And one of those who died did so in a fire because he lit a candle, so maybe mum has a point. The family of five (where the three kids died) had the road literally fall apart under their car and drop them in the swollen river. It was a highway, but the road just apparently went. Just like that. Eesh.
And I knew that Uncle Graham was going to pick up Uncle Ken and actually drive up to try and see Dad, so we were frantically trying to ring him to let him know NOT TO COME. It figures - the one time Dad's family actually make an effort to come visit him, the weather fucks it up.
We have a huge, leaning tree out the front of our house that leans right out over the driveway. It's been that way for 20 years but we can't cut it down or anything - the council has to do it. A couple of times over the years they have trimmed off a branch, but that's it. It's lucky they did. The tree hasn't come down yet (amazingly, since so many other trees have been ripped up by the damn ROOTS, even one in our street!) but a branch did come down and crash onto Lyn's car, breaking a windshield wiper.
All in all, an overwhelming couple of days.
current mood: Amazed
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| Tuesday, June 5th, 2007
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2:50 pm
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Okay, Dad's now out of the ICU (has been for a while now) and is in a surgical ward. Also much to his relief, he's finally off the clear fluids diet and onto milky things (milky coffee and tea, icecream, jelly, and smoothies). Also, today he had shepherd's pie and vegetables. They're going to keep him in the hospital until they can operate on the aneurysm, but nobody is giving us any answers on when that will be or what method they will use to operate on him. There's two possibilities - that they'll go up through a vein and operate that way, or they'll cut him open again. As far as we know, the surgeons want to all get together and see what each thinks. I just wish at least one doctor would go and actually SEE him and TELL him something, because not knowing is driving Mum nuts and she gets irritated when that happens. And that means I get nagged at. Especially since Mum and I are relying on public transport and the kindness of friends to get everywhere (Dad's the only driver in our family because of my epilepsy and Mum was just a terribly nervous driver so she gave up years before I was born).
On the good side, I passed my practical exam on Remedial Massage last night (which was a HUGE relief) and they haven't marked the theory exams yet but the teacher said that someone else looked over them and that they all looked okay, which includes mine, so phew!
Back on the sad side, lana77 suffered a loss the other day when her friend's mother died. She wasn't only close to her friend, but to her mother as well, so this is a hard blow for her. Everyone please keep Lana in your thoughts (and prayers if you're so inclined).
current mood: awake
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