|
|
!Joe Flanigan (![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} dr_dolittle) wrote,@ 2008-08-27 22:56:00 |
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
 |
Joe Flanigan and David Hewlett, with (NPC) Kate Hewlett. Baby sister meets the boyfriend...
[Back in 2000. Not so very long after David moves in with Joe, David's sister Kate decides it's time to pay the boys a visit...]
David grabs Joe's arm. "There she is!" he says, pointing at the girl with the bushy, curly blond hair and the long skirt and flowy blouse, who breaks into a big smile and waves enthusiastically.
"She's got your smile," Joe says, butterflies doing a fearsome dance in his stomach. "Different hair though."
"I had blond curly hair when I was younger," David says. "I just didn't spend much time outside, and, well... it just kept getting darker." He drags Joe forward to meet Kate, and tugs her into a big hug after she drops her carry-on bag onto the floor.
"Look at you!" she exclaims. "You haven't changed a bit. Just the same as ever and I've missed you so much."
Joe lets them have their greeting, picking up Kate's bag and slinging it over his own shoulder.
Kate pulls back from David, then looks up at Joe, squinting a little at him. "Hm," she said.
"Hm?" Joe repeated, looking over at David. "I got a 'hm'. That's... is that bad?"
"I don't know," David admits. "Is 'hm' good or bad, Katie?"
"Kate," she corrects him, putting her hands on her hips. She squints up at Joe. "Well, he's taller than I figured."
"Taller. Okay, taller's a start," Joe says, looking between them. "Unless taller is bad?"
She crosses her arms over her chest. "Star Wars or Star Trek?"
Joe looks utterly deer-in-the-headlights. "There's a test? No one told me there was going to be a test!" He takes a deep breath. "Star Wars."
She doesn't smile, but she nods. "Very good," she says. "Let's go, David." She takes her brother's arm, casts a look at Joe, and lets David guide her through the terminal to the baggage claim. "He is cute," she says as they wait for her suitcase.
"Yeah," David agrees, "he kinda is."
"Standing right here behind you, being tall and liking Star Wars," Joe says, grinning good-naturedly.
"I know," Kate replies. She points. "That's my bag, Joe."
"Yes ma'am," Joe says, reaching down and lifting her bag up with a grunt. She packs like David does.
"Off to the car, then," David says, casting an apologetic glance at Joe. They stop to get Kate a cappuccino, then make their way to Joe's car.
Joe's blessing every run, bike ride, and trip to the gym he's ever made by the time they get there, since of course, he's too manly to stop and get a cart to carry her luggage on. Popping the trunk and hoisting her bags inside, he turns and smiles at both of them. "Home then? Need to make any stops on the way?"
"No, I expect that David's prepared something for me for lunch," Kate says, and promptly climbs into the front seat.
Joe looks over at David. "She is a lot like you. I take it I'm in the backseat?"
"Looks like," David says. "Sorry, gorgeous." He slips into the drivers seat.
He sighs and climbs into the back. His legs are a little long to be squished up back here, but this is David's sister, and he can suck it up.
"Mum expects the two of you to come visit for Thanksgiving this year," she says. "It's good that Canadian and American Thanksgivings are separate, so you can enjoy the holiday with both families. Christmas, however..."
"Uh oh. Sounds like we're already being scheduled," Joe says, although really, he found it pretty cute.
"Mum plans everything," David tells him. "It's... remarkable, really."
"I haven't gone home for Christmas in awhile. There's just too many animals to get a sitter for, really." Joe's not sure how they'll manage Thanksgiving, come to think of it.
"Oh, the animals," Kate says, smiling. "I can't wait to see them, especially Max."
"He's totally excited," Joe says. "I mean... he can tell, you know? That someone's coming. David's been cooking up a storm," he says proudly.
"And there's lasagne for dinner for tonight," David says.
Kate sighs. "Your lasagne is heaven. No one else's compares."
"What about Mum's?"
Kate doesn't really respond. She points at New York license plate.
"I think sometimes David just moved in so he could save me from myself and what I ate," Joe smiles.
Kate turns in her seat and looks at him. "So are you saying you think my brother doesn't actually love you?"
Again with the deer in the headlights. A flood of protests just about started pouring out of Joe before he stops and tilts his head to the side. "You're scary."
She grins brightly, then turns around again. "I know."
"David's not nearly that scary. Does it only run on the female side in your family?"
"Pretty much," David says. "I mean, it was just me and Dad and all these girls! We were outnumbered."
"Poor creatures... all alone against some clearly powerful beings," Joe says. "In response, now that my panic attack has stopped, no, I definitely don't doubt that your brother loves me. Not for a moment."
"You'd better not," Kate declares. "He's dated way too many losers. You're not a loser, are you, Joe?"
"No ma'am. I pay my taxes and everything," Joe assures her.
Kate giggles. "He called me ma'am."
"Still... sitting back here. Being tall and ... really cramped."
"Poor Joe," David says. "We'll be home in a while."
"Do you frequently complain about things?" Kate asks, turning again. "That's kind of annoying."
"I don't think I'm naturally complainey," Joe says, thinking about it for a moment or two. "No... just really used to talking out loud, I think."
"Hm," Kate says, squinting at him again.
"I got another 'hm'. That can't be good."
"We'll get through this, baby," David says. "I'm sure."
"You may be sure. I'm nervous." Joe was eyeing Kate nervously from the back seat again.
*
When they reach the house, Kate takes David's arm and marches him to the door, leaving Joe to get the bags again.
Joe practically falls out of the back seat of the car, then gets up and stretches, hoping the animals remember their discussion on Proper Behaviour In Front Of Guests. Loading up from the backseat, he heads for the door, following after Kate and David.
"Max!" Kate exclaims, dropping down to a crouch and letting him jump up to greet her. "Hey, buddy, you remember me, don't you? Oh, who's the best little boy in the world? I haven't seen you since you were just an itty bitty thing."
He's still itty-bitty. Templeton was lying on the bottom step, watching in utter boredom.
"Oh, you should talk," Joe mutters under his breath, giving Templeton a death glare.
Max is utterly beside himself. He doesn't remember Kate at all, since he had only been eight weeks old when she met him. But she's a new person, and she smells nice, and she has interesting hair, which he buries his nose in. His tail's going fast enough to power half of Chicago.
And Kate certainly doesn't mind at all, giving him lots of scritches, rubbing his sides. "Aren't you darling? Oh, look at him, David. He's the best dog ever."
"He's gonna be full of himself for a week after this," Joe says to David, setting Kate's bags down, then going over to him, one arm looping around David's waist. "Angel and Riley'll be jealous."
"Angel and Riley are the other dogs, right?" Kate looks up at David for her answer.
He nods. "And they're on their way here right now," he says, pointing as the two big dogs finally come to see what all the fuss is about.
"Angel, Riley," Joe says, pointing to each of the dogs in turn. "There's another... two out in the yard right now, but they're just waiting for me to find someone to adopt them, and getting properly socialized."
"What a hero you are," Kate says with a smile. "Hey, guys. Want to come say hi?"
They approach, tails wagging, and Kate scratches them both with one hand each. "Aren't you two sweet?"
Sure, if you're charmed by creatures that eat food off the floor. Templeton gets down off the stair and makes his way to the kitchen.
Sighing, Joe rolls his eyes as he points in Templeton's direction. "And that's Templeton. He's kind of a cranky bitch, so just ignore him."
"You just called your ferret a bitch," Kate says.
"Yes. Yes I did. Hungry? I had absolutely nothing to do with any of the food, so it's all totally safe to eat," Joe says, shifting topics. "I'll just carry your stuff up to the guest room and make sure no one lingers behind to check out what you've packed."
Kate smiles and gets up, taking David's arm. "Good idea," she says. "We'll meet you in the kitchen, Joseph."
As his sister drags him off to the kitchen, David looks back at Joe, apologetically.
"Joseph. Okay. So... is that good, or is that bad?" Joe mutters under his breath, lugging Kate's luggage up the stairs.
David gets their lunch ready, as Kate watches him. "He's kinda cute," she says.
"Yeah," he agrees, mixing the Caesar salad, "he kinda is."
"Do you love him?"
"Yes, Katie. I've told you that."
"Kate." She looks up as Joe comes into the kitchen. "We must be pretty special if we get chicken Caesar salad."
"He's been excited about you coming to visit us all week," Joe said, going to the fridge for drinks, since that was relatively safe. "Kate, what can I get you? There's beer, juice, water, milk... a couple different kinds of soda...."
"Water, please," she says.
"Water, easy enough," he nods, grabbing the Brita from the fridge and pouring a glass for her. "David, how about you?" he checks, grabbing a Coke for himself.
"Sprite," David replies, kissing his cheek before carrying their plates to the table.
"Do you two know just how much sugar's in that crap?" Kate asks.
Joe checks the side of the can. "Somewhere between 'some' and 'a lot'," he decides.
She shakes her head as they sit down at the table. "At least you like Star Wars."
"I think liking Star Wars was a prerequisite," Joe says, not even turning his head as he keeps speaking. "Templeton, if you so much as touch the leftover chicken, you're going to be the world's first flying ferret," he says conversationally.
I don't know what you're talking about. Templeton eventually finds his way under the table, eyeing Kate's feet.
"Sorry," Joe apologizes to Kate. "He's... well, I named him Templeton for a reason," he explains.
"The part where you call him a bitch?"
"That's part of it. He's also a complete pig and he'll eat just about anything if you turn your head long enough."
"Hm," Kate says.
Uh oh. They're back to 'hm' ing again. Joe shifts nervously in place, poking at his salad with his fork and looking across at David with 'help me' written across his forehead.
*
"Joseph."
It's like hearing his grandmother calling him, about to launch into a... something, except much less grandmotherly. He looks over at her and smiles, hoping that will help. "Uh huh?"
"I think you and I should take the dogs for a walk." Kate smiles sweetly at him. "David's making lasagne, and you know how polite he gets when he really doesn't want help..."
Oh yes. Joe knows that tone well. "Good point. David, do you need us to grab anything, or do you have everything you need?" he checks, trying to look cool and casual as he gets up and starts looking around for leashes and treats.
"Well, you can swing by one of the convenience stores nearby to get ice cream to go with the apple crumble," David says. "Otherwise, I'm fine."
"Sounds perfect," Joe smiles, leaning down and giving him a quick kiss, then calling the dogs. "Angel, Riley, Max, c'mon. Get the lead out!"
"Did I hear him mentioning apple crumble?" Kate asks as they head out of the house and she takes Max's leash from Joe.
"Oh, yeah," Joe confirms, holding both Angel and Riley's leashes in one hand. It's not like he really needs the leashes--they're mostly for show--but it makes people feel better when they see dogs the size of Riley and Angel. "I'm guessing it's a favourite for you too?"
"It certainly is," she says. "I'm always surprised at how good David is at cooking.'
"He spoils me," Joe admits. "Thank goodness I've got the dogs as an excuse for exercise. I can still remember the look of horror on his face when he went through my kitchen the first time."
"He's certainly not a gourmet," she says, "but he's just got his staples, and they're practically perfect. How long have you had a crush on him?"
Wow. That was a complete shift in conversation, and the change is so quick Joe almost gets whiplash. "Uh... I've known him for awhile at the vet clinic. He was bringing Fable before I was even working there, and then there was Max. And I was always... but I didn't think he was interested in guys. So it was kind of a 'from afar' thing."
"Wow. Your gaydar's kinda broken, huh?"
"Yeah," Joe admits immediately, scrubbing his free hand through his hair. "I think my bi gets in the way. That or I'm just better with animals than people. I miss a lot," he adds.
"Because, really, my brother's one of the gayest men I've ever met."
"Really, really better with animals than people," Joe emphasizes. After all, if it weren't for Max and Pixel, he might never have picked up on it. "Plus, somehow it just didn't come up while we were talking about Max's strange dietary tendencies, and yearly vaccinations."
"The poop-eating?"
"The poop-eating. David doesn't like it when I mention it," Joe says, giving Max a Look. "I think he gets embarrassed."
David's just fussy. Ooh, bird bird bird birdbirdbird--why do they always fly away? Max's tail droops.
"Aw, silly boy. The birds are afraid of you because you're bigger than they are," Kate says, gently.
Joe looks at her and tilts his head to the side. She's very perceptive... no. David would have told him if Kate could talk to animals. "Some day, someone'll give me a bird at the clinic, Max... one you can look at all you want."
Max looks back at him, wags his tail again, and then pushes ahead. "So what do you like best about my brother?" Kate asks.
He pauses to think about it, a ridiculously cute smile spreading across his face as he thinks about everything he likes about David. "He's sweet. That's... it sounds like a really weird word to use to describe a man, doesn't it? But he is. He's just about the sweetest person I've ever known. He cares about people, he cares about animals, and just being around him makes me happy... makes me want to be a better person."
Kate's quiet for a moment. "Really? I mean--my brother? Seriously?"
Joe knew he was blushing, but he was nodding before Kate had finished getting the question out. "I probably sound like a sentimental idiot, but yeah."
"Wow. No wonder he's so happy." She squints up at him. "I'm glad he's happy, you know. But if you hurt him, I'll come after you."
"Why do you think I'm so afraid of you? Not that I'm going to hurt him, but you're scary and I have no doubt that you'd carry through on any threats made."
She smiles brightly up at him. "Scary? Really? Aw, that's sweet!" She punches him in the arm.
"Um, ow!"
"Wimp," she says, linking her arm with his. "I think this is all going to work out just fine. Of course, you still have to meet our parents... if you think I'm scary, wait till you meet Mum."
"Okay, now you're really not helping!" Joe protests. "Angel, leave it. You've got sticks in the yard," he adds randomly when he realizes that Angel's been carrying a stick for two blocks.
But I don't have this stick!
It really is a very good stick. Riley tries to take it from him.
Get your own! You're so grabby.
"Aw, it'll be okay, Joe. I mean it. Dad'll like you right away, so that'll help."
"He will? That's good, I guess." And Joe means it too. He's just got too big a family himself to not worry about being landed in a kitchen full of women with a matriarch presiding over it. "Riley, Angel, quit it. You're gonna knock Max in the head."
"Looks like they think Max is just as big as the two of them."
"Well, Max tries to keep up with them," Joe sighs, shaking his head and finally taking the stick away.
You're no fun. Max watches the stick carefully.
"Of course he does. He's spirited," Kate says.
"Did you have a lot of animals in your place growing up?" Joe asks, holding onto the stick until he can find somewhere convenient to put it down.
"No," Kate admits. "Just usually one at a time. David went off to college, took Fable with him, and we got a puppy."
"Fable was beautiful. David was so brave for her, when the time came." Joe never handled putting animals to sleep well, but Fable had been hard on him.
"She was the best cat ever," Kate says, tears stinging her eyes a little bit. "I kind of wished I could have been there for him at the time, but I was in a show."
"I'm just glad he was willing to take Pixel. I think it helped. A new pet can't replace the one you've lost, but it does help."
"She's such a sweet little--augh, Max, no! That's wrong--leave it!"
Max looks up. But... but...
"Max... we've discussed this," Joe says sternly, lips twitching as he fought to keep from laughing. Kate's cry of disgust sounds just like David's did.
Max slinks away from the poo under the tree to walk close to Kate's feet again. Not. Fair.
"He still hasn't outgrown this habit?" Kate asks. "David hasn't mentioned it since Max was still a puppy."
"It embarrasses David," Joe explains. "He just can't believe he keeps doing it."
"What a silly boy," Kate says, bending down to scratch Max's ears. "Aren't ya? Awfully silly." She stands straight and squints up at Joe one more time. "David never gave me an answer--is he going to invite Justin over for dinner?"
"I think so, yeah... I think he just wanted you to himself first," Joe explains.
Kate giggles. "He thinks Justin's got a crush on me and it bothers him."
"Is he anywhere near as protective over you as you are over him?"
"Oh, more so. Much more so."
"Is it bad that I find that really adorable?"
"I certainly hope you think my brother's adorable."
"I think your brother is so adorable that it should give you sugar shock. But I think that him being protective over you is adorable too." Honestly, Joe thinks almost everything David does is adorable.
Kate smiles. "He kind of is. Kind of. But don't tell him I said that."
"Your secret is safe with me," Joe promises. "Should we head back? I think they've all done everything they're going to do, and Max has that look where he's clearly after dinner to wash down his appetizer."
[Back in 2000. Not so very long after David moves in with Joe, David's sister Kate decides it's time to pay the boys a visit...]
David grabs Joe's arm. "There she is!" he says, pointing at the girl with the bushy, curly blond hair and the long skirt and flowy blouse, who breaks into a big smile and waves enthusiastically.
"She's got your smile," Joe says, butterflies doing a fearsome dance in his stomach. "Different hair though."
"I had blond curly hair when I was younger," David says. "I just didn't spend much time outside, and, well... it just kept getting darker." He drags Joe forward to meet Kate, and tugs her into a big hug after she drops her carry-on bag onto the floor.
"Look at you!" she exclaims. "You haven't changed a bit. Just the same as ever and I've missed you so much."
Joe lets them have their greeting, picking up Kate's bag and slinging it over his own shoulder.
Kate pulls back from David, then looks up at Joe, squinting a little at him. "Hm," she said.
"Hm?" Joe repeated, looking over at David. "I got a 'hm'. That's... is that bad?"
"I don't know," David admits. "Is 'hm' good or bad, Katie?"
"Kate," she corrects him, putting her hands on her hips. She squints up at Joe. "Well, he's taller than I figured."
"Taller. Okay, taller's a start," Joe says, looking between them. "Unless taller is bad?"
She crosses her arms over her chest. "Star Wars or Star Trek?"
Joe looks utterly deer-in-the-headlights. "There's a test? No one told me there was going to be a test!" He takes a deep breath. "Star Wars."
She doesn't smile, but she nods. "Very good," she says. "Let's go, David." She takes her brother's arm, casts a look at Joe, and lets David guide her through the terminal to the baggage claim. "He is cute," she says as they wait for her suitcase.
"Yeah," David agrees, "he kinda is."
"Standing right here behind you, being tall and liking Star Wars," Joe says, grinning good-naturedly.
"I know," Kate replies. She points. "That's my bag, Joe."
"Yes ma'am," Joe says, reaching down and lifting her bag up with a grunt. She packs like David does.
"Off to the car, then," David says, casting an apologetic glance at Joe. They stop to get Kate a cappuccino, then make their way to Joe's car.
Joe's blessing every run, bike ride, and trip to the gym he's ever made by the time they get there, since of course, he's too manly to stop and get a cart to carry her luggage on. Popping the trunk and hoisting her bags inside, he turns and smiles at both of them. "Home then? Need to make any stops on the way?"
"No, I expect that David's prepared something for me for lunch," Kate says, and promptly climbs into the front seat.
Joe looks over at David. "She is a lot like you. I take it I'm in the backseat?"
"Looks like," David says. "Sorry, gorgeous." He slips into the drivers seat.
He sighs and climbs into the back. His legs are a little long to be squished up back here, but this is David's sister, and he can suck it up.
"Mum expects the two of you to come visit for Thanksgiving this year," she says. "It's good that Canadian and American Thanksgivings are separate, so you can enjoy the holiday with both families. Christmas, however..."
"Uh oh. Sounds like we're already being scheduled," Joe says, although really, he found it pretty cute.
"Mum plans everything," David tells him. "It's... remarkable, really."
"I haven't gone home for Christmas in awhile. There's just too many animals to get a sitter for, really." Joe's not sure how they'll manage Thanksgiving, come to think of it.
"Oh, the animals," Kate says, smiling. "I can't wait to see them, especially Max."
"He's totally excited," Joe says. "I mean... he can tell, you know? That someone's coming. David's been cooking up a storm," he says proudly.
"And there's lasagne for dinner for tonight," David says.
Kate sighs. "Your lasagne is heaven. No one else's compares."
"What about Mum's?"
Kate doesn't really respond. She points at New York license plate.
"I think sometimes David just moved in so he could save me from myself and what I ate," Joe smiles.
Kate turns in her seat and looks at him. "So are you saying you think my brother doesn't actually love you?"
Again with the deer in the headlights. A flood of protests just about started pouring out of Joe before he stops and tilts his head to the side. "You're scary."
She grins brightly, then turns around again. "I know."
"David's not nearly that scary. Does it only run on the female side in your family?"
"Pretty much," David says. "I mean, it was just me and Dad and all these girls! We were outnumbered."
"Poor creatures... all alone against some clearly powerful beings," Joe says. "In response, now that my panic attack has stopped, no, I definitely don't doubt that your brother loves me. Not for a moment."
"You'd better not," Kate declares. "He's dated way too many losers. You're not a loser, are you, Joe?"
"No ma'am. I pay my taxes and everything," Joe assures her.
Kate giggles. "He called me ma'am."
"Still... sitting back here. Being tall and ... really cramped."
"Poor Joe," David says. "We'll be home in a while."
"Do you frequently complain about things?" Kate asks, turning again. "That's kind of annoying."
"I don't think I'm naturally complainey," Joe says, thinking about it for a moment or two. "No... just really used to talking out loud, I think."
"Hm," Kate says, squinting at him again.
"I got another 'hm'. That can't be good."
"We'll get through this, baby," David says. "I'm sure."
"You may be sure. I'm nervous." Joe was eyeing Kate nervously from the back seat again.
When they reach the house, Kate takes David's arm and marches him to the door, leaving Joe to get the bags again.
Joe practically falls out of the back seat of the car, then gets up and stretches, hoping the animals remember their discussion on Proper Behaviour In Front Of Guests. Loading up from the backseat, he heads for the door, following after Kate and David.
"Max!" Kate exclaims, dropping down to a crouch and letting him jump up to greet her. "Hey, buddy, you remember me, don't you? Oh, who's the best little boy in the world? I haven't seen you since you were just an itty bitty thing."
He's still itty-bitty. Templeton was lying on the bottom step, watching in utter boredom.
"Oh, you should talk," Joe mutters under his breath, giving Templeton a death glare.
Max is utterly beside himself. He doesn't remember Kate at all, since he had only been eight weeks old when she met him. But she's a new person, and she smells nice, and she has interesting hair, which he buries his nose in. His tail's going fast enough to power half of Chicago.
And Kate certainly doesn't mind at all, giving him lots of scritches, rubbing his sides. "Aren't you darling? Oh, look at him, David. He's the best dog ever."
"He's gonna be full of himself for a week after this," Joe says to David, setting Kate's bags down, then going over to him, one arm looping around David's waist. "Angel and Riley'll be jealous."
"Angel and Riley are the other dogs, right?" Kate looks up at David for her answer.
He nods. "And they're on their way here right now," he says, pointing as the two big dogs finally come to see what all the fuss is about.
"Angel, Riley," Joe says, pointing to each of the dogs in turn. "There's another... two out in the yard right now, but they're just waiting for me to find someone to adopt them, and getting properly socialized."
"What a hero you are," Kate says with a smile. "Hey, guys. Want to come say hi?"
They approach, tails wagging, and Kate scratches them both with one hand each. "Aren't you two sweet?"
Sure, if you're charmed by creatures that eat food off the floor. Templeton gets down off the stair and makes his way to the kitchen.
Sighing, Joe rolls his eyes as he points in Templeton's direction. "And that's Templeton. He's kind of a cranky bitch, so just ignore him."
"You just called your ferret a bitch," Kate says.
"Yes. Yes I did. Hungry? I had absolutely nothing to do with any of the food, so it's all totally safe to eat," Joe says, shifting topics. "I'll just carry your stuff up to the guest room and make sure no one lingers behind to check out what you've packed."
Kate smiles and gets up, taking David's arm. "Good idea," she says. "We'll meet you in the kitchen, Joseph."
As his sister drags him off to the kitchen, David looks back at Joe, apologetically.
"Joseph. Okay. So... is that good, or is that bad?" Joe mutters under his breath, lugging Kate's luggage up the stairs.
David gets their lunch ready, as Kate watches him. "He's kinda cute," she says.
"Yeah," he agrees, mixing the Caesar salad, "he kinda is."
"Do you love him?"
"Yes, Katie. I've told you that."
"Kate." She looks up as Joe comes into the kitchen. "We must be pretty special if we get chicken Caesar salad."
"He's been excited about you coming to visit us all week," Joe said, going to the fridge for drinks, since that was relatively safe. "Kate, what can I get you? There's beer, juice, water, milk... a couple different kinds of soda...."
"Water, please," she says.
"Water, easy enough," he nods, grabbing the Brita from the fridge and pouring a glass for her. "David, how about you?" he checks, grabbing a Coke for himself.
"Sprite," David replies, kissing his cheek before carrying their plates to the table.
"Do you two know just how much sugar's in that crap?" Kate asks.
Joe checks the side of the can. "Somewhere between 'some' and 'a lot'," he decides.
She shakes her head as they sit down at the table. "At least you like Star Wars."
"I think liking Star Wars was a prerequisite," Joe says, not even turning his head as he keeps speaking. "Templeton, if you so much as touch the leftover chicken, you're going to be the world's first flying ferret," he says conversationally.
I don't know what you're talking about. Templeton eventually finds his way under the table, eyeing Kate's feet.
"Sorry," Joe apologizes to Kate. "He's... well, I named him Templeton for a reason," he explains.
"The part where you call him a bitch?"
"That's part of it. He's also a complete pig and he'll eat just about anything if you turn your head long enough."
"Hm," Kate says.
Uh oh. They're back to 'hm' ing again. Joe shifts nervously in place, poking at his salad with his fork and looking across at David with 'help me' written across his forehead.
"Joseph."
It's like hearing his grandmother calling him, about to launch into a... something, except much less grandmotherly. He looks over at her and smiles, hoping that will help. "Uh huh?"
"I think you and I should take the dogs for a walk." Kate smiles sweetly at him. "David's making lasagne, and you know how polite he gets when he really doesn't want help..."
Oh yes. Joe knows that tone well. "Good point. David, do you need us to grab anything, or do you have everything you need?" he checks, trying to look cool and casual as he gets up and starts looking around for leashes and treats.
"Well, you can swing by one of the convenience stores nearby to get ice cream to go with the apple crumble," David says. "Otherwise, I'm fine."
"Sounds perfect," Joe smiles, leaning down and giving him a quick kiss, then calling the dogs. "Angel, Riley, Max, c'mon. Get the lead out!"
"Did I hear him mentioning apple crumble?" Kate asks as they head out of the house and she takes Max's leash from Joe.
"Oh, yeah," Joe confirms, holding both Angel and Riley's leashes in one hand. It's not like he really needs the leashes--they're mostly for show--but it makes people feel better when they see dogs the size of Riley and Angel. "I'm guessing it's a favourite for you too?"
"It certainly is," she says. "I'm always surprised at how good David is at cooking.'
"He spoils me," Joe admits. "Thank goodness I've got the dogs as an excuse for exercise. I can still remember the look of horror on his face when he went through my kitchen the first time."
"He's certainly not a gourmet," she says, "but he's just got his staples, and they're practically perfect. How long have you had a crush on him?"
Wow. That was a complete shift in conversation, and the change is so quick Joe almost gets whiplash. "Uh... I've known him for awhile at the vet clinic. He was bringing Fable before I was even working there, and then there was Max. And I was always... but I didn't think he was interested in guys. So it was kind of a 'from afar' thing."
"Wow. Your gaydar's kinda broken, huh?"
"Yeah," Joe admits immediately, scrubbing his free hand through his hair. "I think my bi gets in the way. That or I'm just better with animals than people. I miss a lot," he adds.
"Because, really, my brother's one of the gayest men I've ever met."
"Really, really better with animals than people," Joe emphasizes. After all, if it weren't for Max and Pixel, he might never have picked up on it. "Plus, somehow it just didn't come up while we were talking about Max's strange dietary tendencies, and yearly vaccinations."
"The poop-eating?"
"The poop-eating. David doesn't like it when I mention it," Joe says, giving Max a Look. "I think he gets embarrassed."
David's just fussy. Ooh, bird bird bird birdbirdbird--why do they always fly away? Max's tail droops.
"Aw, silly boy. The birds are afraid of you because you're bigger than they are," Kate says, gently.
Joe looks at her and tilts his head to the side. She's very perceptive... no. David would have told him if Kate could talk to animals. "Some day, someone'll give me a bird at the clinic, Max... one you can look at all you want."
Max looks back at him, wags his tail again, and then pushes ahead. "So what do you like best about my brother?" Kate asks.
He pauses to think about it, a ridiculously cute smile spreading across his face as he thinks about everything he likes about David. "He's sweet. That's... it sounds like a really weird word to use to describe a man, doesn't it? But he is. He's just about the sweetest person I've ever known. He cares about people, he cares about animals, and just being around him makes me happy... makes me want to be a better person."
Kate's quiet for a moment. "Really? I mean--my brother? Seriously?"
Joe knew he was blushing, but he was nodding before Kate had finished getting the question out. "I probably sound like a sentimental idiot, but yeah."
"Wow. No wonder he's so happy." She squints up at him. "I'm glad he's happy, you know. But if you hurt him, I'll come after you."
"Why do you think I'm so afraid of you? Not that I'm going to hurt him, but you're scary and I have no doubt that you'd carry through on any threats made."
She smiles brightly up at him. "Scary? Really? Aw, that's sweet!" She punches him in the arm.
"Um, ow!"
"Wimp," she says, linking her arm with his. "I think this is all going to work out just fine. Of course, you still have to meet our parents... if you think I'm scary, wait till you meet Mum."
"Okay, now you're really not helping!" Joe protests. "Angel, leave it. You've got sticks in the yard," he adds randomly when he realizes that Angel's been carrying a stick for two blocks.
But I don't have this stick!
It really is a very good stick. Riley tries to take it from him.
Get your own! You're so grabby.
"Aw, it'll be okay, Joe. I mean it. Dad'll like you right away, so that'll help."
"He will? That's good, I guess." And Joe means it too. He's just got too big a family himself to not worry about being landed in a kitchen full of women with a matriarch presiding over it. "Riley, Angel, quit it. You're gonna knock Max in the head."
"Looks like they think Max is just as big as the two of them."
"Well, Max tries to keep up with them," Joe sighs, shaking his head and finally taking the stick away.
You're no fun. Max watches the stick carefully.
"Of course he does. He's spirited," Kate says.
"Did you have a lot of animals in your place growing up?" Joe asks, holding onto the stick until he can find somewhere convenient to put it down.
"No," Kate admits. "Just usually one at a time. David went off to college, took Fable with him, and we got a puppy."
"Fable was beautiful. David was so brave for her, when the time came." Joe never handled putting animals to sleep well, but Fable had been hard on him.
"She was the best cat ever," Kate says, tears stinging her eyes a little bit. "I kind of wished I could have been there for him at the time, but I was in a show."
"I'm just glad he was willing to take Pixel. I think it helped. A new pet can't replace the one you've lost, but it does help."
"She's such a sweet little--augh, Max, no! That's wrong--leave it!"
Max looks up. But... but...
"Max... we've discussed this," Joe says sternly, lips twitching as he fought to keep from laughing. Kate's cry of disgust sounds just like David's did.
Max slinks away from the poo under the tree to walk close to Kate's feet again. Not. Fair.
"He still hasn't outgrown this habit?" Kate asks. "David hasn't mentioned it since Max was still a puppy."
"It embarrasses David," Joe explains. "He just can't believe he keeps doing it."
"What a silly boy," Kate says, bending down to scratch Max's ears. "Aren't ya? Awfully silly." She stands straight and squints up at Joe one more time. "David never gave me an answer--is he going to invite Justin over for dinner?"
"I think so, yeah... I think he just wanted you to himself first," Joe explains.
Kate giggles. "He thinks Justin's got a crush on me and it bothers him."
"Is he anywhere near as protective over you as you are over him?"
"Oh, more so. Much more so."
"Is it bad that I find that really adorable?"
"I certainly hope you think my brother's adorable."
"I think your brother is so adorable that it should give you sugar shock. But I think that him being protective over you is adorable too." Honestly, Joe thinks almost everything David does is adorable.
Kate smiles. "He kind of is. Kind of. But don't tell him I said that."
"Your secret is safe with me," Joe promises. "Should we head back? I think they've all done everything they're going to do, and Max has that look where he's clearly after dinner to wash down his appetizer."
